[slanker]

to become a gifted lover? How did you overcome it and your story would be appreciated here, just some success stories with regards to this issue would help me and I am sure others too that their is light at the end of the tunnel.

Mine came with a bad relationship with a lady who did everything to ruin me mentally and physically. That ended 6 years ago and I have suffered since, having not been able to maintain myself for long periods nor even hold a long term relationship. But their were times when I did manage to hold myself off. For the last six years though I haven't had regular sex nor a regular partner. It's now been over 2 years since the last time I have had sex.

But since being here I have found out about kegels, breathing and tantric methods, and when I masturbate regularly these work well. The other issues I have are with anxiety in performance because it has been so long.

Just wandering if anyone else has suffered from premature ejaculation and what they did to overcome it?

I have heard that once I start having sex again regularly it should pass hopefully, as long as I practice masturbating with tantric methods and use kegels I should overcome this problem. The only thing is sometimes I go weeks if not months without masturbating and want to shoot my load straight away again, but my kegel muscle is strong enough to hold it in. I hope it works when the day comes I want to have sex again.

Anyway care to share some success stories from this miserable problem? Thanks.

[HotRod]

Hi Slanker,

I can't say that I ever had that problem except for the time I gave up my virginity. It wanted to come right away and I had no control.

That was 1984. My experience as of 1999 (after 9 years of celibacy) was the exact opposite. I have to be with a woman several times before I can come. I'm aroused, but I can't come. When I do finally get there it requires great physical effort and I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her. Once I've become comfortable with a woman I usually have pretty good control, but it feels good to just let it happen whenever

This may not be helpful to you, but I can say that during those years of celibacy there was a lot of solo work. I became very well acquainted with my own body.

I think they call it edging - you work up near to orgasm and then back off for a couple minutes. I discovered this on my own...I think. The point is that I believe this helped me to participate in my arousal, rather than just totally being taken by it.

Sometimes I think I got too good at that. Women become self-conscious when their man isn't having orgasms. I've been with women 3 or 4 times before my body would cooperate.

More frequent masturbation might be helpful, but that has to be to your own personal preference.

I would also suggest trying to find a sex partner, girlfriend, whatever you want her to be. Spring and summer are good times for this. I'm currently working on a pet project of my own.

You could also try masturbating in advance of a date you think you might be having sex on. This might slow your urge to come.

Once you find your way to an intimate moment, be open with her, whoever she is. DON'T APOLOGIZE! Just go with the natural flow. Sex is not all on your shoulders. Being a good lover is not all up to you.

Try your kegel stuff when you are with her and if you lose control just smile and enjoy the feeling. Then immediately begin talking to her about the experience. Tell her how good she makes you feel and how easy it is with her. Use this frame to make the experience special for both of you. Then and only then start talking about how you want to be able to go longer for her pleasure. Resist any urge to apologize.

Try having intercourse again within a few minutes. The second time is almost certain to take longer.

I'm just going with what intuitively seems to me to be the nature of the matter.

I'm sure you can work through this with an understanding woman.

Best Wishes.

[slanker]

Hey Hotrod, thanks for that. Yea I hear ya about the edging. I will start doing it regularly soon and as you said I think being in tune with your body is what helps a lot, and to be quite honest when I do edge I am in tune, I can stop and hold and be multiple orgasmic. However, I don't do this often enough to have a lasting affect. Also, I masturbate lightly, I am sure if I humped away as a girl would want me to, I would go over the edge much easier.

Either way, key point, being in tune with the body, I realy can hold my orgasm back with a kegel quite easily now. I can hold a kegel for 30 minutes or more.

[Cernunnos]

Alright.

I didn't read HotRod's response because I don't have much time, so forgive me if I'm repeating something he said already.

I used to have premature ejaculation, and overcame it.

Exercise is the key, and just training yourself to last longer.

[slanker]

Thats great C. What I like to hear, overcoming difficulties.

[Cernunnos]

Originally Posted by slanker

Thats great C. What I like to hear, overcoming difficulties.

I'm sure you can do it too.

It just takes some training. Kegels will probably help, too.

Also, trying to relax and focus more on what you're doing helps.

Two years ago I used to just "go at it" with vim & vigor, and almost as soon as I got a full erection I'd orgasm. Of course, I used to so a lot of drugs, too. Exercise and eating well, together with approaching sex/masturbation with a more "zen-like" approach really helped a lot. I find it helps to relax your stomach, and breathe. It's easy to unconsciously tense-up and stop breathing when you get an erection. Jut relax, woody won't go anywhere.

Anyway, I'm still working on it myself. I hope these suggestions help.

PS: Some people have a problem with serotonin which causes them to either come too quickly or take too long.

Cheers

[slanker]

Yea I read that book the multiple orgasmic male by mantak chia. It says things like kegels and other breathing techniques to prolong the session. If I haven't blown my load for a few weeks and I watch some porn I can blow my load quite quickly. But I guess it's consistency. One of the things I am lacking in this area. Breathing techniques definitely work, kegels once they are strong enough stop the ejaculation process so long as you time it right.
Yup relaxation and other ssri's are other key factors. I belive they can work as anti depressants. I would like more information on these though. What type are the easiest to buy and take at a small dosage to have an anti prem ejac effect?
I also heard vitamin b5 is good for premature ejaculation.

[Cernunnos]

Cool.

Good luck, dude! I'm sure you'll get it no problem.

[kingpole]

celibacy can be benificial in developing longevity like Hot Rod just said. I myself self have been Asexual for more than 10 years. Of course that is going to end soon, i hope!

[slanker]

Well I have been celibate for 2 years now and I am blowing faster than a speeding bullet. Anxiety perhaps and lack of edging on a consistent basis.