I think this is an excellent observation. It definitely would explain why some men can edge or balloon for hours but when it comes to real physical sex only last a few minutes.

SPANKY!!!!!!!!!!!

Howdy

So if I understand correctly, you want to not get the urge to ejaculate when you orgasm this way? And you also want to have a more intense orgasm that has been building up past the point where you would normally ejaculate? If so it seems awesome but I don't understand how...

Well the sensation and level of intensity are definitely not related. I've cum soft, hard, and harder still a whole load of times. I've ejaculated without orgasm too a few times, which is frustrating.

So ejaculation gets in the way of our pleasure. It's like crashing on your journey upwards. Not unpleasant, of course, but like driving a race car, you tend to want to avoid crashing if you want to reach your goal. Metaphors aside, I think the trick to control is being able to suppress the ejaculation urge entirely, as once you can do this, your capacity for increased, escalating pleasure is clearly immense, and far greater than most of us will experience.

The thing I'm trying to work out is how to bring on orgasm *without* ejaculation - that is, not just a DO - without release of sperm, but maybe without the physical pumps as well - so just that big release, that flood of hormones, and explosion of pleasure.

What I've managed so far is to build up - presumably "towards" orgasm - far more intense sensation than many milder orgasms I've had, though this was without the release of orgasm, and every time so far I've succumbed to impatience and finished myself off the normal way.

I would like to know if this is necessary (it may be?) to achieve that release - if it's literally like a physical release valve, or if an entirely different sort of orgasm is just around the corner. Call it a female orgasm if you like, though that said it would clearly be a "human" orgasm, since I am not a woman.

Maybe I'm talking rubbish.. dunno.. just exploring really, and hell it's very nice so far

Ther are many kinds of orgasm.
While I believe in regular ejaculation I do not do it every session.
Go into mmo group, the thread" exercise "might interest you.

Both you and Pegasus talk about different kinds of orgasm. I absolutely concur. And they tend to be different in quality, in the intensity, and in sensation. I can generate waves of sensation up my spine now by thinking it when I want to. So far I have been afraid to really let loose and let my mind take complete charge, so these tend to be pleasurable sensations rippling or somewhat surging through my body. Like you I have also successfully separated ejaculation from orgasm and find that the sensations are truly different, especially when the i sense the contractions that I am attempting to appease. Yeah...orgasm is in the mind and in our cocks..separately and together.

I do a lot of talk about mental vs. physiological too, but I think what is often ignored is that there is no clear differentiation between the two. There is no reason to differentiate. Your brain is the most powerful sex organ you have: unless it is working with you, you can't get off. When it is working with you, the best orgasms are when your thoughts align perfectly with your orgasm... you know those orgasms where they shoot off at the wrong time? You bring yourself to a peak, and you can't work back down even though you wanted to, and then you pop? Those orgasms are sometimes a bit of a letdown, since your mind wasn't focused on the final "climactic" build-up. The best orgasms are when you are completely focused on the feel of the build-up, and release. The thing is, the orgasm is not mental alone. It is hormonal, vascular, muscular, and neurological. It is all connected to your genetalia, your prostate, your perineum, down your spine, reaching across to every muscle. All of you plays a role, because if your heart rate increases, and certain hormones are pumped into your system, those hormones don't just spread to your genetalia... they make their way EVERYWHERE in your system. The real question is: are you paying attention? Stop for a moment, and feel the rush of blood through your system... feel your muscles relax as the blood pumps around them, feel the temperature of the air, the brush of a light breeze, the sensitive stroke of a keyboard even... hell, drag your own hand along your skin lightly, and focus on the release of endorphins you can get simply from that. The mind makes it all possible, but it is the moderator, not the activator. The activation of certain physiological reactions are in response to external stimuli and internal processes, which the mind can either allow or ignore. Tantric sex is one of the best ways to increase your sexual awareness, and when used appropriately, it can aid all sexual acts by opening you to becoming more aware of your own body's reactions during sex. Another thing is using masturbation to further discover yourself. The vast majority of guys do not actively do this. It is something I have always had a problem with. There are tonnes of self-exploration books out there for women, but not for men. There is no market for it, but there should be. Men need to explore themselves more to enjoy themselves more, enjoy sex more, and be an all around better lover too. I have taken the time to read books on self-exploration, but they all are aimed at women. They are helpful for two reasons: one, you can try to look at it from a male perspective, and two, you get to further understand a female perspective. Many guys interested in improving in the bedroom look at these books to learn more about female sexuality, but they rarely use those books to get perspective on themselves. I think almost everyone should be doing this. There are certainly different types of orgasms. Functionally, they are all similar, but in terms of location, intensity, and the type of release, they differ. I have had orgasms that only focus on the genetalia... then I have had some that seem to rise from deeper inside. Then I have had some that start at the back of the spine and spread to the fingers and toes as a more generalized orgasm (this one was rare, but I am learning more about it). Ultimately, my point is both mental and physiological reflect eachother. What muscles that flex, what veins open up, where stimulation occurs, and how you perceive your feelings all play a role in changing the behaviour of your orgasm. Spanky, I really enjoyed reading your article (not to mention your other ones too). You have an incredible insight into yourself and sexuality at large. You always get me thinking.

I think I was a bit unclear there. What I mean is, cognitition plays a role, but no more a role than the other physiological aspects that can change, such as vascularity, neurological stimulation, muscular contraction, and hormonal release.