Unable to get aroused when with other people?

[Hopeful&dedicated]

Ok, so many here may not be able to relate to this problem but I thought some may have some advice. My wife and I play with others every so often. Well, my wife plays and I usually end up watching unable to even get a semi. I have zero problems when we are alone and EQ is always a 10+. When others are introduced into the equation I am unable to feel anything down there. It doesn't even remotely move and there is hot action going on right in front of my eyes. The only time I was able to get hard is when we had a single girl join us. As soon as another male is introduced I am pretty much useless. I've tried Cialis and got nothing. I've tried to pin it down to dick size insecurity but I really don't think that's it. Most if not all the guys are thicker than me because I'm sub 5" but I'm pretty sure I've had them or equal them in length. It's such a kick in the gut standing there with a softy while the other 3 are going at it and I am basically powerless. I'm at a loss right now on how to fix this problem. My current thinking is that I need to get to know these people better and I might be comfortable enough to perform. All these instances have occurred with people we just met a few hours earlier.

I don't know....thoughts?.?.?

[bautista19]

Is this something you are uncomfortable doing?

[Hopeful&dedicated]

No. I have no jealousy or regret besides not being able to perform.

[BigO]

There is nothing wrong with you, it is not what you want to do deep down inside. You may tell your self this should excite you but that doesnt mean it will. Could also just be anxiety. Your dick is fine.

[bautista19]

Well that rules out my if you don't want to do it, don't do it advice. Hopefully someone who knows something can now offer some advice.

I would never get hard in this situation, and likely completely turtle.

[Hopeful&dedicated]

Wife and I were talking. I think I need to know the girl fairly well or she would have to be completely all over me. These two situations have yet to occur.

[litopita]

Pretty obvious. You and wife alone means no pressure to "impress and perform" hence no anxiety. When "onlookers" join the party, you all of a sudden have someone to "impress" with your size and also by "performing" well. Your SPA is caused by size insecurity. What confuses me is why you feel the need to engage in these orgies in the first place? Because if you are not careful you will also soon have problems with your wife alone since she is always "looking" when you are failing. Don't tempt fate.

[Hopeful&dedicated]

Pretty obvious. You and wife alone means no pressure to "impress and perform" hence no anxiety. When "onlookers" join the party, you all of a sudden have someone to "impress" with your size and also by "performing" well. Your SPA is caused by size insecurity. What confuses me is why you feel the need to engage in these orgies in the first place? Because if you are not careful you will also soon have problems with your wife alone since she is always "looking" when you are failing. Don't tempt fate.

Yeah, probably a fair diagnoses. I'm not worried about having issues with my wife when we are alone. We've been through it all sexually over 17 years. I can't get anymore comfortable than I already am.

[bautista19]

Yeah, probably a fair diagnoses. I'm not worried about having issues with my wife when we are alone. We've been through it all sexually over 17 years. I can't get anymore comfortable than I already am.

I dunno, some day what if you get with some porn-like couple and then you begin to think "I'll never bang my wife like that" and begin to wonder if she is thinking the same.

[Hopeful&dedicated]

I dunno, some day what if you get with some porn-like couple and then you begin to think "I'll never bang my wife like that" and begin to wonder if she is thinking the same.

Not to sound conceited but you can't "bang" my wife any harder than I do now. What we have is more than sex. This other stuff is for fun. The other night with me my wife came 9 times. If another guy makes her cum 10 times than good for her. It doesn't take away from what we have.