Hi there once again.

I've been away from porn and masturbation during two full weeks now.
I got a few semi erections in the last days.
Not much. But it's a good start, I guess.

Yet, there's something that puzzles me.

These erections aren't 100% hard-rock, unless I make a conscious effort for achieve and mantain them.

I know it might sound weird.
What I mean is...
It's like sticking out your tongue.

I get harder erections only as I

1 - have a semi already
2 - take control over my penis as I do with any other muscle.

Again, it's like sticking out your tongue, or lifting your eyebrows.
Of course, I can't keep it for so long.

Also, there are other muscular movements involved.
For instance, I need to contract my buttcheeks and my thighs.
That's kind of exhausting.

What I really want is to have an erection so strong that I'm not even capable of controling it.
Like an actual animal reflex. Like the natural, unstoppable reaction it is.
Do you know what I mean?