[Dduster]

Thanks very much for your kind words, guys.
Jon, I was very lucky I that, when I moved up here in '96, all of my closeset Jeresy bros- to a one- moved up here shortly after.
As I said, over just the last few years, everybody has slowly trickled out, due to work opportunities, marriage, or just not being able to take the cold winters any more. I keep in touch with all of those guys (esp. the one who was like my right hand- we communicate daily), but find myself in the position of really needing to make new friends to hang with around here, which I haven't had to do in a while. It's weird.

Anyway... I'll keep you posted on the healing.
Not hanging as tight this morn, so that seems good....

[Pegasus]

Funny enough also had a 13year relationship go bad recently, it does strange things to your head. Good news is you can get over it.
This has affected my health also, but I am geting through it.

[McB52]

Dduster, you mentioned you spoke with your girl about what you were going through, but you never mentioned her reaction. Why would you do that.....I like it just the way it is.....Can I help you exercise it....

She sounded supportive, but did you really explain how you managed to hurt yourself. I'm not doubting you, nor do I think your a troll...possibility does exist...but she seem to except it rather well. So wondering minds would like to know, what was her reaction?

McB

[Dduster]

Okay- please indulge this long post.
Thanks.

McB- yes, despite enormous reluctance to do so, when I called her on Thursday I told her exactly what happened and why- giving her the full backstory. It was the first time I had let her know at all of my insecurity over my size. I explained all about the exercises, I talked to her all about what I had experienced to that point- everything. If there is one thing I have learned the hard way over the years, it's that (for me, anyway), total honesty is all that's really gonna work in a real love relationship. If I had just shared my insecurities with her in the first place, and asked her directly how she felt about my size (and just for the record, let me say here that I am an even 5" x 5", BPEL and BEPG), I wouldn't be in the fucking lousy situation I am now. I must have apologized to her at least a dozen times for doing this... I let her know how scared I was of ED, scared that this would put a serious hurt on our relationship, and how scared I was over losing her over it. The first thing she said was "Look- calm down. Listen: I LOVE YOU. You're not gonna lose me over this. I am so sorry this is happening for you, and I am going to help you get through it." She went on to very kindly ask more questions about why I did it, what exactly the exercises were, had she ever given me any indication that my size was not adequate for her (she hadn't at all), and let me know that she thought I was just perfect, and that she felt we were a perfect fit, physically (in fact, she had said exactly this dozens of times).

So here's where things are at now: yesterday, over the course of my work day, I snuck off to the bathroom several times and did a warm compress. This really seemed to make things feel nice, loosen up the dick, etc. I felt ever more positive that I was healing just fine and that this was something I would laugh and roll my eyes about in a couple weeks. My girl and I had plans to hang out at her place last night; after work, I came home and packed my bag and did one more compress. Only- when I took the rag from under the water and rung it out, I didn't realize just how hot the water was. I wrapped it around my dick and immediately felt a stab of pain from the temp in the middle of my glans. It dissipated fairly quickly- I adjusted the temp, and re-wrapped. Things felt okay.

During the 45-min drive to her place thereafter, my glans began to ache- a throb of slowly dissipating ache that pulsed in waves about 2-3 min apart. When I finally got to her place, I was re-stricken by negative thoughts of permanent nerve damage. It felt great to see her and be held by her... but the anguish and turmoil was underscored/deepened by the fact that I didn't get my usual insta-erection when I saw her/was touched by her (this happens pretty much every time I see her- she just lights me up, physically). I let her know exactly what was going on for me (can I just stop and say here how goddamn lucky I feel to have this woman with me through this?); we went to her room and laid down on the bed, and talked more about the whole situation... eventually this segued into general visiting and nice talk, and laughs... and at some point, I got an erection. Alright, I thought! I felt this was a very good sign; I knew at least a portion of the ED I was experiencing was frustration and embarassment, purely mental. Here I was, relaxed, feeling loved, and getting wood. Great. I thought for a moment that, hhhmmm, maybe I shouldn't be getting wood right now- could this be bad for the healing process? But- feeling no great pain (just a strange sort of numbness which I chalked up to the still-injured state of it), I didn't do anything to try to stop it. That one came and went, and I guess I got hard about three more times over the course of our hanging out.

Eventually, we went out to a gathering; I gotta say it was psychologically weird to go out in public with this condition, being amongst a bunch of happy, smiling couples, all physically close and loving. I felt weird, alone and ashamed, sure that I was the only one in the room with such a fucked-up, self-induced problem. Again, my gf was great- we were no exception to the physically close and loving people in the room.

We got back to her place 'round one, and flopped soon after into bed. Of course, I had let her know that I thought sex was out of the questions for at least a week, so we kissed and cuddled but did not try to take it any further than that. I became erected though, and it lasted until I fell asleep, at least. I did not sleep well (unfortunately, I rarely do in her bed- too soft for me, and usually too warm), woke up several more times in the night. I became erected pretty much each time, very hard engorged erections, just from being close to her. Nothing was painful, but each time I gingerly reached down and stroked it just to make sure of things, and shifted on my back so that it was not hanging to one side or the other.

Woke up with morning wood; everything still pretty fine. We got up, made b'fast... and as we were eating, that awful throb came back into my flaccid glans, stronger that the day before. When I got home, I took three Advil... which did not really do much. I walked around town with my son and had to sort of, by putting my hands in my pockets, hold my pants out from my crotch, because every time the throb would die down, the light brushing of my head against my boxers would fucking bring it back. At some point in our time out, it subsided pretty much wholly, or at least fell down to a level where I really did not notice it much. Until I went to use a bathroom at a restaurant, and in gently pulling out my cock, caused a sharp pain in the center top point of my base. This slowly subsided, and I was again left without overt pain, just the general dull ache.

We got home just a bit ago; I went to the bathroom, and just gently stroked my cock along the top a few times... it brought back the pain. I just took three more Advil.

So... at long last... here are my questions:

• Have any of you who have been injured experienced these sort of symptoms, and what can you share with me?
• Should I keep taking Advil? I am usually one to avoid pain meds, because I feel that pain is generally a beacon that we should pay attention to... but I am worn out from days of paying attention to this (and please know that I have done my very best to "let it go" and focus on other things). Also, some people have told me in the past (related to back injuries and the like) that Advil can serve in such a way as to interrupt the pain signal, and thereby reduce the risk of longer-term pain from injury. These people have recommended an "attack dose" of 1200 - 144 mg/day, in two or three doses.
• Are hot compresses a bad idea at this point? Might cool compresses help? My girl was wanting to steer me away from them any more last night, after I told her of the stabbing pain from the too-hot one... I tend to want to trust her intuition. I am wondering at this point if I did not make a bad situation worse on Wednesday night (the night after I did the jelqs), when I came home and jumped into a hot tub. Up to that point, my dick had been sore-ish, but was filling with blood nicely, hanging nicely, and I even got (kinda soft) wood a couple times that day. It was upon getting out of the tub on wed night that I was incredibly compacted and feeling that there was a serious circulatory problem, and unable to become erect. This is also the night I went to the ER- the only medical attention I have been able to secure yet. I did try to make an appointment with both my PCP and my urologist on Thursday... and was told both would be out 'til this Tuesday.
• Recommendations on any supplements/treatments I should add? I am already taking all the stuff Jon recommended for the 90-day routine, plus a bunch of shit I ran out and bought in the wake of this problem, so: B-Complex; L-Lysine; L-Arginine; Glucosamine/Chondroitin/MSM; Zinc; a multi-vitamin; gingko biloba; flax seed oil; ginseng; this stuff; and I have ordered this stuff, which should be here Monday. Yeah, I'm trying to cover everything.
• Should I avoid getting any more erections from contact w/ my gf right now? I'm pretty much thinking yes; she is due to come stay overnight tomorrow, but I'm thinking I should wait to see her again until Tuesday or Wednesday. I am sure she will understand when I tell her what things have happened today.

So... thanks for reading this super-long-winded post, and thanks in advance for any help you can offer.

Again- I am definitely someone who is prone to worry, and I am trying not to get too upset in dealing with this, as I know that won't help a thing.
And again, it has been just four days exactly from the point when I did the jelqs.
However, I gotta say, having to deal with this at all is a real burn for me. After so many years of sex that was so far off from what I wanted it to be, my sex life was blooming in a truly fantastic way with someone I really love. I want to do all I can to to take care of myself and have a good resolve to this, even if it takes a bit of time. I want things the way they were.

[Big Al]

Originally Posted by Dduster

Okay- please indulge this long post.
...

I sincerely think that you are making way too much out of this. Give yourself some time to rest your body and mind and do what you have to do to stop worrying over this. We have already assured you that worrying alone is enough to cause the symptoms you're describing.

Unless you have some form of preexisting condition, it's quite difficult for you to hurt yourself doing JP's beginner routine unless you really go overboard with it.

[Dduster]

I truly appreciate what you're saying, Al, and I truly hope you're right.
The discomfort I'm feeling, though, is very real- the nerve agitation is so easily activated that it's frightening. It sucks, and to add to my worry, I've of course found numerous posts across the internet from guys who have supposedly done nerve damage from one jelqing session, and their healing was difficult and long (if they wrote of healing at all).

Obviously, I did go overboard w/ the routine in some way- though I followed the written instructions exactly, my guess is that the edging and the later-in-the-night masturbation were really what put things over the edge (I repeatedly (as I usually do during sex and masturbation) kegeled and ballooned my glans during both, which probably did not help).

I know at this point that I'm overtired from last night and really need a solid, healing sleep, and that's where I'm headed right now.
I'll check in here again tomorrow.

Again, thanks.

[Big Al]

Originally Posted by Dduster

I truly appreciate what you're saying, Al, and I truly hope you're right.
The discomfort I'm feeling, though, is very real- the nerve agitation is so easily activated that it's frightening. It sucks, and to add to my worry, I've of course found numerous posts across the internet from guys who have supposedly done nerve damage from one jelqing session, and their healing was difficult and long (if they wrote of healing at all).

Obviously, I did go overboard w/ the routine in some way- though I followed the written instructions exactly, my guess is that the edging and the later-in-the-night masturbation were really what put things over the edge (I repeatedly (as I usually do during sex and masturbation) kegeled and ballooned my glans during both, which probably did not help).

I know at this point that I'm overtired from last night and really need a solid, healing sleep, and that's where I'm headed right now.
I'll check in here again tomorrow.

Again, thanks.

Again, you seem to be feeding in to your fears and disregarding the advice given to you here. You stated yourself that you were able to get an erection after your PE. The fact that your situation seems to have gotten worse (and your apparent level of worry) points to a very likely psychological connection.

I have to call BS on your latest statement. I sincerely doubt that you can get nerve damage from one bout of jelqing. You would really have to go out of your way to do that unless you already have a preexisting condition (in which case you shouldn't be doing PE in the first place). Most of what you read are self diagnoses with no valid evidence to back up their claims. Much of that bunk usually comes from websites that have a biased view of PE to begin with.

This forum is evidence (aside from the very recent rash of hysterical posts) that you can train your penis without harming yourself. All it takes is a reasonable amount of prudence, patience, a little confidence and the ability to follow instructions.

[MrBigDick]

Holy hell. I've read this ENTIRE thread and Dduster, I'm not in your shoes but you seriously are making a HUGE mountain out of a very tiny little mole hill. Look, I totally hear you on your life being a tad difficult and challenging and you wanting to better yourself for your son. Dude, I've got two daughters, I'm a single dad, I'm trying to make it as a single dad in one of the most expensive places in the US to live, SoCal, the OC specifically. I give you kudos for trying to do right by your son. BUT...........yes, there is a "BUT" here, your paranoia about this nerve damage and such from an hour's worth of PE is seriously doing your situation more harm than good. You've seen a GP and a Urologist to get a clean bill of health, all for nothing because your still worried about this. You've been given TONS of excellent advice from the awesome guys of this forum and your still freaked out. Dude, you are your own worst enemy right now. If your girl loves you and supports you through all of this, why are you STILL freaked out? As Big Al pointed out, an hour's worth of PE isn't going to cause all the pain and agony you've claimed. I had a similar problem several years ago when I first got into PE. I was climbed down off the ladder of despair and within a week, all was well and I was off PEing again with no worries.

You need to take the advice you've been given here and seriously relax about this.

[Dduster]

Al, I found those posts about nerve damage from jelqing on sites like Ask The Md or UrologyHelp.com or whatever- generalized medical advice websites. Do they have a basic anti-jelqing agenda? I don't know. I went looking for info on what damage I might have done on Wednesday night, when things were at their worst, because I desperately wanted to know any and all courses of action I should be taking at home, as far as self-care. The descriptions I found there of what dorsal nerve damage feels like match what I'm experiencing now. My dick is DEFINITELY better, overall, than it was on Wednesday and Thursday... but the painful sensitivity and throb/ache in the glans is new since Friday, and is not paranoia or the product of paranoia. When it came on, I had truly gotten into, for about 24 hours, a very positive, "Everything is gonna be just fine" frame of mind. I am not producing this pain because I'm looking for it; in fact, in the face of it and in the face of my worries (and when I last wrote it was the end of a long, tiring day), I am staying positive and actually repeating mantras of healing and love towards my penis. But when lightly running your hand aong the top of your shaft causes pain, it's quite worrisome.

MBD- I appreciate all that you're saying. I do want to make clear, though, that the only clean bill of health I've gotten so far is from the ER doc I saw. He was very nice for an ER doc, not brusque or overly rushed, but his examination was not what you would call in-depth, and he was not trained in urology. I have as yet been unable to schedule time with either my main doc or my urologist (and in case my mentioning having a regular urologist causes wonder about a preexisting condition: some years ago I had a small stricture in my urethra that needed surgery; other than that I have just gone to him for prostate exams, and one UTI); that may happen this week.

Dude, you are your own worst enemy right now. If your girl loves you and supports you through all of this, why are you STILL freaked out?
Well, it's true- I do believe I am the biggest block to my own healing. And I guess, man, that the reason I'm disposed to feeling this way despite the support of my girl is that she is basically all I have right now, in terms of a close personal relationship. I am in a very isolated period of my life. I have a lot of "friends", I'm known and recognized all over this state, actually, but as I said- most all of my close friends have moved on. Those who remain here are at least an hour's drive away... and they aren't the ones who have a lot of understanding about deeper life issues... I think all that they've heard about my split and struggles over the past year has mostly baffled them. Also, my girl lives an hour away. We hope to rectify that situation as soon as we can, but its gonna be a while... currently we see each other twice a week, three times if we're lucky. Other than that, I see my son, my ex, and the frighteningly dull, disconnected people I work with. So, yeah- all this is to say that when dealing with a physical problem like this- esp. something that has so much to do with a form of enjoyment I am able to take in life right now- it's easy for me to go to extremes of thought and emotion.

ANYWAY- I am off now to go have a positive, engaged day of window-painting, apartment cleaning, a nice fall walk with my boy, and giving only a minimum of attention to my dick. If anyone has any feedback regarding my specific questions in bold in last night's post, I'd still welcome your input.
Thanks!

[Big Al]

Originally Posted by Dduster

Al, I found those posts about nerve damage from jelqing on sites like Ask The Md or UrologyHelp.com or whatever- generalized medical advice websites. Do they have a basic anti-jelqing agenda? I don't know. I went looking for info on what damage I might have done on Wednesday night, when things were at their worst, because I desperately wanted to know any and all courses of action I should be taking at home, as far as self-care. The descriptions I found there of what dorsal nerve damage feels like match what I'm experiencing now. My dick is DEFINITELY better, overall, than it was on Wednesday and Thursday... but the painful sensitivity and throb/ache in the glans is new since Friday, and is not paranoia or the product of paranoia. When it came on, I had truly gotten into, for about 24 hours, a very positive, "Everything is gonna be just fine" frame of mind. I am not producing this pain because I'm looking for it; in fact, in the face of it and in the face of my worries (and when I last wrote it was the end of a long, tiring day), I am staying positive and actually repeating mantras of healing and love towards my penis. But when lightly running your hand aong the top of your shaft causes pain, it's quite worrisome.

Most of the people posting to those sites do have little understanding of PE techniques and are quick to discount them.

Whatever you did to yourself is not the fault of the program- it's from misusing the exercises. There's no way that you could have hurt yourself to the degree that you describe unless you did the exercise with considerable force. As a beginner claiming no experience you should have done each and every stroke with caution. Would you walk into a gym and attempt to bench press 300 lbs without any previous experience? Of course not- you'd start light and work your way up from there. The same principal applies to PE.

Are you going to tell us that you did your jelqs with caution and still injured yourself? If so, it's surprising that you haven't hurt yourself from rough sex or masturbation.

Originally Posted by Dduster

some years ago I had a small stricture in my urethra that needed surgery

Well now- that may shed some light on the subject. It's quite possible that you aggravated a preexisting condition or scar tissue caused by this surgery. Did you meet with your doc prior to beginning your PE to ensure that your penis was up to the challenge of PE?