[Subylover]

Alright, well I know this topic has been done to death, but I really don't know what to do. I'm a 21 year old male, I am in excellent physical condition (very athletic, I go to the gym regularly and play sports). Now, I have been having serious problems for some time now. I only recently lost my virginity less than a year ago. With my first girl I had erection problems early on. I can only get erections under a lot of physical stimulus and I had a lot of problems maintaining my erections. I could not use a condom for this reason. I stayed with this girl for a few months and had sex very often, but I always had some slight problems maintaining my erections. I broke up with that girl and I'm seeing a new girl now who I like a lot. I'm extremely attracted to her and I feel confident in my sexual abilities when everything is in working order but I'm unable to get or maintain erections. I have tried to do PE for a couple months (although I haven't been totally consistent), and I've had some times of benefit and others where I feel no benefits. I try keggling but I'm never sure if I'm doing too much or too little. I've been trying to do it every other day.

With my current girl, sometimes when I'm with her and we're making out or teasing each other or whatever I'll ejaculate a little with no erection and then when it comes time for sex I feel like my penis is tired, I don't know why this happens either. Anyway, this is totally frustrating for me because I'm a young guy in good shape who has a totally hot girlfriend and I want nothing more than to have great sex with her. We've tried 3 times all with failure. I can get a slight erection but I lose it so fast, and I can never get the rock hard erections that I know I'm capable of getting. I do get a little nervous I think I may have some anxiety issues. Even when trying to masterbate or doing PE I'll have issues getting an erection now and I don't understand it. I don't really feel like I get erections in my sleep, if I do it's rare, but I almost NEVER wake up with strong morning wood. If I do have morning wood it's only like a 60 percent erection. Another thing is I've been smoking pot for about 2 years quite heavily and I know this can have an effect on erection quality. I'm in the process of quitting right now and one of my main reasons is because I can't deal with this problem I have! I want to know what I should do. Should I be seeing a eurologist? I'm with kaiser permanente, should I see their urologist? I don't know if it's physical or completely mental but I just can't understand why I would be having this problem physically. It's making me really depressed especially since I'm losing confidence and feel like I'm failing my girlfriend (even though she has thus far been extremely nice and understanding about it).

Please, I'm begging anybody for any help, I don't know what to do or who to turn to and this problem is seriously damaging not only my sex life but my life as a whole. Since this weekend I have been feeling stressed and panicking and my heart feels as if it's always beating a little irregularly.

Thanks for the help.

[Big Al]

You should prioritize doing the "Stop and Start" (AKA edging). This will train your penis to become erect at your command. You should also try to abstain from masturbating and save your ejaculations for sex (and the Stop and Starts). Once you train your penis and you go without for a few days, you'll be so eager to ejaculate that you likely won't be able to contain your erection.

The most imporatnt thing that you can do though is to improve your mindset. I highly recommend reading this article as it will help you deal with the psychological aspect of ED.

[erl]

Hi Suby,

Don't apologize for going over a old subject it's a new one for you to deal with, in fact stop apologizing, your impotent, except it.

I know that's fine for me to say it, your account is almost my life experience except it started when I was sixteen and couldn't get erect with a very lovely girl in front of me with her legs open wide begging to lose her virginity. You never really get over that type of disappointment, I am highly sexually motivated but with ED that becomes extremely difficult to deal with when you search for methods subjects or fantasies that arouse yourself enough to get a realease. I have found refuge in every deviant practice and fantasies including the most taboo just to get aroused. I honestly feel if I had been 'Normal' I wouldn't of gone there, so be aware of where ED can lead you.

I said except it, that's not meaning accepting you will never make love and enjoy the absolute joy of a woman's cunt. Except it, if you are going to lead any sort of normal life and not travel the deviant path that befell my self go through the proper channels. I am sure some of the methods outlined in this forum would certainly help your self esteem, but go and see a doctor, tell them straight you are impotent, be upfront with some girl you get involved with so she can help you not make you feel worse. If she can't accept you, you have the wrong woman get medical help, perhaps your testosterone levels are too low perhaps you have something physically wrong with you.

My wife now accepts my impotency mainly because she has to, I'm trying to get her to have sex with other men because I feel so bloody guilty.

I wish you luck, just don't go overboard looking for a easy solution, there isn't one!

Erl

[kingpole]

Hmm, athletic, could it be that you are over exercising frying out your nervous system. And do you use diuretics to make those cuts seem more cut to get the most out of your muscle in terms of looks and function.

[Subylover]

No I don't do anything unnatural like that. I have a very good diet (I almost always eat at home as I live with my parents) and that's it, I don't even take simple things like whey protein or anything. I do work out often though, at least 4 times a week usually, and pretty hard, about an hour of weights followed by around 2 miles hard running. I'll try edging again, I've done edging before but usually I've ejaculated when I did it and waited a day in between. I guess it may work better if I do it everyday and don't ejaculate. I'll try it and see what happens.

[Subylover]

Erl, your post scares me, I don't want to have this problem. I'm so young I refuse to accept that. I often get aroused during masturbation while watching porn, so it's not like I don't have a sex drive, and I've had times where I can edge for hours before ejaculation. And when I was with my last ex-girlfriend, although I had trouble maintaining an erection while un-stimulated, after a while I was able to have sex with her whenever multiple times a week. This relationship is limited to maybe one or 2 nights on the weekend so maybe the fact that we can't try every day makes it more difficult for me, I have a lot of time during the week where I think about what happened and how I failed so I can also see that effecting my confidence/comfort. I'm sure if I have sex with her a few times I'll be able to maintain an at least somewhat good sex life.

[Dreambig]

Hey Subylover,
I have been going through the same sort of problems on and off throughout my life, and it is the most frustrating thing that a young man can endure. For me it started around the age of 16, and I think it had something to do with confidence with my body (member size).

What I ended up doing around the time I got to college was taking non-prescription erection pills. I found that they worked wonders, but I usually suffered some strange side effects.

I am 25 now, I've got a fine woman. But I still suffer, and even though pe helps I can't seem to overcome my issue.

recently I went to my dr and told him about my experience, and he responded very well. soon I will be visiting a urologist for further examination. the doc was good enough to give me a sample pac of viagra too so I can tide myself over for a bit.

Most days when I think about my sex life I get depressed, one issue is having ed, and another is not being endowed as I would like to be.

So here is my advice for you... Don't acceptt this shit! Do PE, Do PE, Do PE (I bought the exersicing the penis book and it has been great!). Next go see your doctor and tell him your story, he/she Will help you. Just have courage to admit this. Or try out some of the non prescription erection pills, they cost alot, some have side effects, and others don't work.

I wish I would have resolved this issue when I was 18, but put it off because I knew I would'nt be taken seriously. This was a bad decision... You can do something about it, and if you stick with a smart and balanced PE plan then you will improve function and size.

Good luck to you. Stick with the PEing! The book is a great tool. Don't get into a big rush for gains.

[Subylover]

is there any muscle control involved in getting an erection? Should I hold my keggels when trying to obtain an erection? I can get very erect when watching porn but only under a lot of stimulation and if I stop the stimulation my erection leaves me quickly.

[PhibbysHammer]

Take 5-6 days off of anything and everything involving your penis. Don't watch porn, don't masturbate, don't do PE exersizes and don't fondle your girlfriend. At the end of the days off go out with her and have a nice meal, catch a movie or whatever you two like doing, then go home and open a bottle of wine and enjoy each other's company. If after at least 5 days off of everything you still don't get hard and ride her tils he's sore, you need to see a doctor. At your age your physical health should be more than adequate to achieve rock hard erections so I'm betting your problme is as Big Al pointed out, phsycological. Stop masturbating, stop watching porn and start enjoying convenient erections when its time to pleasure your woman. Also stop worrying yourself to death. Take a deep breath, decide you're going to get over it and do it. Forget about it and refuse to concentrate on it and let nature handle it.

(you could try as little as 3 days)

[papaki]

I had the same problem with you bro long ago.Just try to be happy.Listen to your mind and do only what makes you happy.Dont make thing just to do them.Try to do things that make you happy.This is the key to Rock hard errections.Happyness and relaxation.I say it again this was my solution to my problem listen to your body and your soul about what makes you happy