Considering giving up PE--need help

Mr. Determined · 2 Weeks Ago

Hi guys,

Little background first: How I got here. I'm 37 years old, married with three kids. Last year my wife told me that i had a small penis and that she didn't feel like having sex with me. Needless to say I was crushed. I mean I have been with this woman for ten years. she never expressed anything like this before. I was filled with anxiety and hated myself for not able to satisfy my wife's need for a bigger unit. So i said i'll do something about it. It took lots of research to get here but I did.

Stats: BPEL: 5.8
EG:4.5

Routine: 10 min warm up
stretches all around
5 min jelg
Extender ( 1 hour)
edge off days

2 days on, 1 off

I'm in excellent shape. i workout four days a week. Body is cut.

daily supplements: Multipurpose Vitamin
Extenze
Steel libido

I started PE seriously in August. I followed all the instructions and found that I was progressing along. Everything was OK till last week. I think while using the Extender I might have somehow pulled something. I was feeling sore but could still get erections. That day my wife wanted to have sex and I couldn't get it up. She was ok with it but i felt like shit. I mean i was doing all the kegels, and my unit just couldn't perform. Fast forward: I took a few days off and last night tried to have sex. I got hard immediately but when i went in her immediately i became soft. I had to pull out and rub my unit on her thigh to get it hard again and then within 30 seconds i came. It was embarrasing. She called me a grandpa. I mean i'm sure grandpa can do it better than i did. I tried to explain that i was PEing and she laughed at me. She said that stuff is not going to work. Leave your unit alone. Kingpole how did u fix your ED? I mean i try Kegels, edging and when i am alone i get raging boners. But when its time to perform I'm gumby. I believe in PE but the Ed is killing me. My goal is to get to seven and rock hard erections which i can't seem to get( only when i'm alone or watching porn) I feel disgusted with myself. Do u guys think i might haveseriously injured myself? I dunno. I guess i'm looking for reinforcement. some encouragement. She always laughs at me. Like i'm some loser. Should i change my routine. Take different supplements. Please help

Dreambig · 2 Weeks Ago

Do not quit. Sounds like marriage is tough on you, but don't let your wife deture your efforts. Pe works with a proper routine and patience. When I started pe 4 years ago I had gains of about an inch in the first 6 months, but then let off and just used devices. Since that time I have had no gains, but I'm back on track. Extenders did not work for me either, and seemed to cause problems. The best tool I ever bought was the book "exercising the penis". I had ED issues since I began having sex due to possible anatomy issues. I actually went to a therapist/sexologist, and it has done wonders to my perspective (also I have the option of cialis which is a miracle drug for me).

Gains will come, but you need to alter your routine and put more time into it. Also if you do not want to mess with prescription vasilator, then try some of higher priced erection pills on the net. Stiff nights worked for me, so did cockstar (funny names, i know) There is also a tea that claims to be pretty powerful stuff. Oh and the pegym offers tons of natural rememdies, but it can be hard to be patient sometimes.

Your story really makes me feel for you, and giving up is not going to fix anything. Just read the success stories here.

happy_accidents3 · 2 Weeks Ago

Well first off stop thinking your small. Second your problem sounds more mental then physical. You would be surprised about how much the mind has control over sexual functions. It seems like your wife's comments and feelings are having a serious effect on you and perhaps giving you performance anxiety. I would suggest doing your work early and trying to get her to orgasm before you even get your pants off. Either through oral or manual stimulation, this way she will be satisfied when you actually start having sex.

Secondly you should probably have a talk with your wife about how her comments make you feel because that's a messed up thing to say to someone you love. Im very young but even I know communication is a key stone of a good relationship.

Mr. Determined · 2 Weeks Ago

Happyaccidents 3, I did try talking to her and she said that this thing is your problem not mine. She feels that I should b able to perform regardless of what she says

Mr. Determined · 2 Weeks Ago

On another note...lately if i blow my load it takes me forever to get it back up. Like the next day. Is that normal? I don't think so. My friends are up and ready to go again within an hour.

Big Al · 2 Weeks Ago

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Determined

On another note...lately if i blow my load it takes me forever to get it back up. Like the next day. Is that normal? I don't think so. My friends are up and ready to go again within an hour.

Excellent suggestions above.

Your measurements are average- actually a little above average in the length department. It's common for women to get a little loose after having children. Perhaps she can tighten things up on her end with kegel exercises.

Pardon my saying so but there's likely some deeper issues going on that may need to be addressed. Your size is not the problem- your wife's attitude towards you is. How does she expect you to perform at your best after berating you like that? Her attitude is bound to affect you mentally and that will affect your performance to some degree.

Mr. Determined · 2 Weeks Ago

Big Al...i thought about that myself. U maybe right. last summer while she was on vacation with the kids in Morocco, she'd met someone she claimed was just a friend. I grilled her on that but i got the usual "he's just a friend" this is also about the time my penis was not good enough. It's been with me ever since and more and more i can't seem to get it on with her. I dunno what to do. Is my routine good enough or should i take some time off and start all over again. As kingpole said in another post: work on the ED first, then PE. I want rock hard erections, then gains. What do u think?

LookAlive · 2 Weeks Ago

Wow, your wife really isn't helping!

Grasping at straws here (a lot has been said already): how intense is your kegel regime? Kegeling too much or too hard can often cause erection problems, although they do not normally vary between being alone and with your wife.

In my honest opinion I think you need to re-evaluate this problem, putting more importance on your wife's attitude.

Big Al · 2 Weeks Ago

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Determined

Big Al...i thought about that myself. U maybe right. last summer while she was on vacation with the kids in Morocco, she'd met someone she claimed was just a friend. I grilled her on that but i got the usual "he's just a friend" this is also about the time my penis was not good enough. It's been with me ever since and more and more i can't seem to get it on with her. I dunno what to do. Is my routine good enough or should i take some time off and start all over again. As kingpole said in another post: work on the ED first, then PE. I want rock hard erections, then gains. What do u think?

Kingpole's suggestion is a wise one. If you're able to get regular erections without too much difficulty then you can work on PE and stamina; if not, work on your potency and then focus on PE once you're functioning to your satisfaction.

When you're ready for PE I would suggest a more progressive routine- JP has an excellent complete course in the Beginner's Forum.

If you wish to save your marriage you may want to seek some kind of counseling. To be honest though it sounds as if she's saying these things almost in an effort to get you to leave her. Her callous attitude towards you suggest that she's pushing you away. I could be wrong though, but you definitely need to hash this out with your wife.

Stay strong- you'll get through this. Whatever happens, you'll be a better man for sticking it out and not letting your wife's negative comments succeed in getting to you.

Mr. Determined · 2 Weeks Ago

i started kegeling 50 second holds a day...everyday for 5 days then two days off. But quickly noticed that my penis was sore even after the two off days.