quick jokes

[not2big]

What is the difference between a rooster and a prostitute. A rooster sAys cock a doodle do. A prostitute says any cock will do.

[morebigger]

Two guys were walking down the street when they saw a dog licking his dick.''Boy,'' one guy marveled,''I wish I could do that''.
''I bet you could,''his friend replied.''But you'd probably have to pet him a little first.

[BigO]

sat next to a gal at the bar the other night and I said to her " I would tell you a joke about my penis but its to long" she then replied " I would tell you a joke about my vagina but you would never get it".

[Pirate]

Hillary Clinton, President Obama, Michael Jackson, and George Bush walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up at them and says "Is this a joke?"

[Mikes Mrs]

Being a modest man, when Big O checked into the hotel on a recent trip. He said tothe blonde lady at the registration desk ..."I hope that the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, Mr Big O , it's regular porn, your sick bastard ."

[benschmidt]

A rabbi, a priest, and the pope are on a boat with three children when the boat begins to sink. They quickly realize they only have three life jackets.
The rabbi says "I've lived a full life, give the jackets to the kids."
The pope says "Screw the kids, let's take the life jackets."
The priest says "Okay, but are you sure we have time?"

[benschmidt]

In the early 1400s, the people of Afghanistan made one of humanities great discoveries with the sheep's intestine condom. About 100 years later, the British improved upon the discovery by first removing it from the sheep.

[BigO]

Little Johnny raises his hand and blurts out to the teachr " gotta urinate" the teacher then says to Johnny you may go if you use urinate in a complete sentance.
Johnny raises his hand again and says "urinate". The teacher looks at Johnny and says "that is not a complete sentance". Johnny says " yes it is and if you had bigger tits you would be a ten".

[Toadstool]

Two word joke:

Midget shortage

[DontWakeTheBear]

world shortest joke thanks to Jimmy Carr:

"Dwarf Shortage"
Edit.. lol thats what i get for not reading the posts.

warning this one is wrong on many levels.

Q) How does a [insert race] brother know his sister is on her period?
A) His dads dick tastes funny!

Possibly worse one thanks to Jimmy Carr (he says the most offensive joke he has ever heard):

Q) How do you get a gay person to fuck a woman?
A) Shit in her cunt!

alrighty back to hell i go