New Adventures of the Knights. Episode 6

[JonPop]

King Arthur and the Knights were startled, when Captain Slanker re-entered the room.
He had only been gone less than a minute, but appeared to have aged some 10 years.
He approached the King and the Knights still seated. He said, "I know this always catches you by surprise, but I have returned with some very good news.
When myself and my crew left, for what seemed like minutes to all of you, in actuality was over 12 years for me. When we left, we took the bodies of Sir Uberschwanz and Sir Iguana back aboard our craft. They had been in a state of preservation until 6 months ago, our time. During the last decade, a Federation team of rejuvenation scientists discovered a method to bring back to life, soldiers and very important people that had died or been killed in combat. We used this process on your two Knights and...(steps aside) I'd like to reunite you with your fallen Knights. Sir Uberschwanz and Sir Iguana stepped into the room with very large smiles on their faces.

They were heartily embraced by their brother Knights and there was much rejoicing.

But the mood was somewhat somber as the realization of what had transpired, begin to slowly settle in.
Even though the technology that enabled their brothers to again stand before them, there were still lingering doubts.

With the deaths of Sir Uberschwanz and Sir Iguana and their resurrection, the Knights of BetterMan felt uneasy and no longer invincible. Sir Uberschwanz said that although he was extremly greatful to Captain Slanker and the Federation, he would never again want to go through such an experience and was going to retire and live the remainder of his life in peace.

Sir Sonic Celt also decided he would leave the Knighthood and return to his home to spend more time with his family. Sir Marty and Sir Sikdogg echoed this and after a gala night of partying and sorrowful goodbye's, the four left their BetterMan brothers and retired from the round table.


(This is a picture of our ship, "Far Search".
This ws taken by Captain Slanker, just after Mister Kingpole had turned hard 180 degrees to go between the two trailing pirate ships.)

http://www.pegym.com/forums/attachme...-farsearch.jpg

[JonPop]

The night was dark with no moon, yet the stars were bright and twinkled, against the black background.
The salt spray was sharp to the exposed face and stung the nose.

Most of the Knights had spent the entire morning and day, draped over the railing of the ship being very ill.
Only a very few of the Knights had ever been aboard a ship under sail.



Twenty seven days earlier:

The Knights had been given a week to assemble at the round table and had straggled in one by one from all points of the continent. When they were all present the attendance was taken.

Sir JonPop
Sir Remek
Sir Iguana
Sir Stud
Sir Bret
Sir Jayhawk
Sir Stillwantmore
Sir Robin
Sir Kudub
Sir Hairtrigger
Sir Loki
Sir Marty
Sir W.M.P (aka Sir Jim)
Sir Italiananglo (aka Sir Rob)

Sir Robin had been Knighted by King Arthur after the battle to save the Queen, but said he would never don the armor of the Knights as he was a free spirt and the bow was his forte'.

Sir Marty had heard the call to assemble at the round table and being bored with the quiet life, had a change of heart and decided to see what his King wanted.

When all were seated, King Arthur stood and said, "It is good to see almost all of my my Knights once again before me. It has been many months since we last met. We have a new adventure awaiting us and this will be on a volunteer basis only. I will lay out the details of this quest tomorrow at mid-day at Nikki's brothel.
If you are intrigued by the prospects of excitement and glory I shall see you then."

The King dismissed the Knights and the adventure begins.

[JonPop]

As the Knights were leaving, Sir Stud pulled Sir JonPop aside and said, "Man, after what happened with Miss Betsy and all, I just can't bring myself to go back to Nikki's. I'll go along with what everybody want's to do, so if you would just fill me in when you get back. I'm just going to hang around the castle and go see Merlin and get some more of that magical salve of his. I ain't had any sex with nobody since Miss Betsy and I need to do some PE."
Sir JonPop said, "That would be all right and he would explain to King Arthur."

Sir McB and Sir Pegasus arrived about three hours apart because of the greater distances they had to travel to get to the castle and were told by Sir Stud that everybody had gone to Nikki's to be briefed on some kind of new crusade, tomorrow at mid-day. Sir McB and Sir Pegasus decided they would spend the night in the castle and head on over in the morning.

[JonPop]

With 13 large Knights filling Nikki's dining room, (less Sir Stud) there wasn't much room left.
King Arthur, Sir JonPop and Sir Remek had commandeered a table by the bar and the other tables and chairs were arranged in a semicircle around them.

There was a man that had been sitting at a table by the door, that the Knights had been speculating about. Nikki had run off all the other patrons to another part of the brothel.

King Arthur stood and raised his hand for quite. The murmuring stopped and he looked fondly at the faces before him.
King Arthur spoke:

"Gentlemen, I have called you from your homes and most have traveled a great distance to honor my request to appear for this gathering." The King continued, "I would introduce you to Mister Kingpole the man that will explain why this meeting has been called.
The man by the door, picked his way through the seated Knights and came to stand beside the table and faced the King. He said, "Your majesty, you know all the details of this, so with your permission, I will turn and address the Knights gathered here."

[JonPop]

Mister Kingpole swept his gaze over the seated Knights and begin, "Gentlemen, I have a story to tell you
and I shall begin by introducing you to this." He returned to the table by the door, retrieved a large folder and a long scroll. When he once again stood before the Knights, he asked Sir Jayhawk, whom he had noticed was the tallest Knight present if he would assist him. Sir Jayhawk said, "Yes Mister Kingpole, what do you require?" Mister Kingpole said, "I would like you to hold up this map, high for all to see."

Mister Kingpole unrolled the scroll which was a beautifully done map. Mister Kingpole beamed with pride as he announced, "I have been a master navigator and cartographer, for many years and I have researched and changed this map many times until I now am satisfied that it is accurate to the last detail.
I was assisted in my efforts by the Federation and Captain Slanker to give me an aerial view that I might present you with the island of Lesbos."

The Knights looked at one another, with some shaking their heads. Mister Kingpole said, "I am aware that you probably have never heard of this island, the inhabitants are called Lesbians."
This will be our destination. I will now give you the details of why, if you accept, we will go on this mission." Mister Kingpole continued, "There is a petrified forest at the base of the Olympos Peak, the highest mountain on the Island and at the edge of the forest is the neolithic cave of Kagiani. This cave and it's secrets are what we seek."

[JonPop]

Mister Kingpole was interrupted in his presentation by the door opening and 3 Knights entering.
Sir McB, Sir Pegasus and Sir Bman bowed low to King Arthur. Sir McB spoke for the three.
He said, "We are sorry to be late your highness and fellow Knights. Sir Pegasus and myself got to the castle late last night and were traveling the road today, when we found Sir Bman on his way to the castle. We told him that the meeting was to be held here at Kikki's brothel and again, we apologize for our late arrival. King Arthur said, "I am glad to see the three of you, please find a seat and Mr. Kingpole will finish telling us about our new adventure."

Mister Kingpole had Sir Jayhawk turn the map so the new arrivals could see and said, "This is our destination, gentleman, the island of Lesbos."
http://www.betterman.com/attachments..._piri_reis.jpg

[JonPop]

Kingpole resumed his story;
The island was named after King Lesbos who ruled in 800 BC. The Lesbian people speak Aeolian and Thessalian dialects which will be taught to you as it was to me, by Captain Slanker, while in induced sleep. You'll notice that the map is done in this language and when you have gone through the sleep/learning process, you'll be able to read the map. This was done because we might have to hire a native guide and the map must be in his tongue.
This is the method that several of the Knights, including Sir JonPop, Sir Remek and Sir Bret, were given, to learn the language of the planet Nib.
Furthermore, Captain Slanker and his crew have provided the expedition with a ship that to all outward appearances, is exactly like all sailing vessels of today.
The difference being, that this ship is impervious to todays cannon fire. The hull and rigging are made of what I was told is a composite material and that is all that I know.

The ship is well provisioned and well armed. I am told that along with a large store of fine Rum, there is a device that will convert salt water into fresh water for drinking and bathing. Captain Slanker said that at the conclusion of this mission, that the ship would be totally destroyed.

[JonPop]

"The Federation directed Captain slanker and his crew to journey in time to the period of Sappho. A poetess that was born in the town of Eresor, to retrieve some works that had not yet been viewed by anyone.
The meaning of the word lesbian derives from the poems of Sappho, who was born on Lesbos. The poems contain powerful emotional content directed toward other females and have frequently been interpreted as expressing homosexual love.

These works contained clues as to the location of a spring hidden deep within the cave of of Kagiani, the water of this spring is magical in nature and instantly restores vitality and sexual prowess to women that drink it. It is this water that we seek.

The Federation is prohibited from using it's advanced technology to do this search, so they have contacted myself and King Arthur to undertake this quest.
The island of Lesbos is located between Turkey and Greece in the Aegean Sea and will be a long and dangerous voyage.
I will be your navigator and will guide you safely to the island. There are many pirates that ply the trade lanes and hence the design of our vessel."

Mister Kingpole paused, waiting for questions. When none were forthcoming, he said, "I and your good King Arthur, who will accompany you on this quest, would like you to volunteer for this mission. The rewards and glory will be great as will the danger.
If you accept, please stand."

To a man, the Knights arose from their chairs and applauded. King Arthur stood and said, "Thank you my loyal Knights, we shall begin the adventure."

[JonPop]

By morning, the Knights were feeling much better. The sea was calm and glassy and they were making good headway under full sail.
The Knights were all speaking the Aeoliain and Thessalian dialects now and were surprised at how their tongues were able to shape the words perfectly.
While in "The Sleep" as they called it, Dr. Sweety had programmed not only the language of Lesbos but also everything they needed to know about the running of the ship and the use of the cannons and small arms. They bustled about doing the things necessary to maintain the ship at top speed.
Sir Bret told Sir Stud that he still spoke the new language with a southern drawl and laughed when he got pissed.

Several days passed with nothing but an occasional bird or fish to look at and the Knights spent the time sunning, exercising, or eating the fabulous food prepared by the master chef hired by King Arthur.
Their horses were in stables below decks and their stable hands would bring them up on deck at least once a day for fresh air and exercise. All in all, it had been a very relaxing voyage...so far.

Sir Kdub, up in the crows nest shouted.....I see sails dead ahead, lads.

[JonPop]

King Arthur hit the deck running, He had been in his cabin taking a nap when he heard the alarm bell sound. He yelled down to Kingpole to turn the ship hard to port and braced himself against the railing as the ship keeled over hard left. All the Knights were scrambling to the guns to prepare for what might be a pirate ship. The ship, that had been named "Far Search" was now broadside toward the fast approaching unknown ship. Within minutes, Sir Kdub called out, "Aye boys, it's a black flag with a white skull and crossbones on the mast." Sir Kdub scrambled out of the crows nest and down the rigging.

The pirate ship started to turn to come broadside with the Far Search and the Knights could see furious activity on it's decks. The gun ports were opening and cannon were being wheeled out. As the ship approached, the pirate captain yelled through a megaphone to surrender or be sunk.
King Arthur yelled below to, "Prepare to fire, on my signal." As the two ships came broadside with scarcely 100 feet between them, the pirate ship suddenly opened up with her starboard side cannons.
The roar was deafening. The cannon balls struck the side of the Far Search and to everyone's amazement the hull sucked up the balls like a fat woman eating grapes. King Arthur gave the order to fire and the Knights touched off their fuses and with a thunderous sound, the cannons roared.
Sir Marty had aimed his cannon at the water line and blasted a gaping hole in the pirate ship. The remainder of the Far Search's cannon found their mark and took out the entire side right at the line of cannons. They could see men flying everywhere and within just a few seconds, the pirate ship started to list, taking on water in big gulps as it was sinking quickly.

Kingpole turned hard to port and pulled away from the ship that had almost touched railings with the Far Search as it keeled over and sank. As it was, two men had managed to jump from the sinking ship and make it to the deck of the Far Search. They were quickly killed by Sir JonPop and Sir Stillwantmore. As the Far Search pulled away, the Knights looked back to see men in the water waving franticly.

King Arthur said, "They brought it upon themselves men and we take no prisoners, may the Lord have mercy upon their souls." The Knights gathered around to look at the two dead pirates and saw some very thin, sick looking individuals with sores from scurvy on their bodies. Sir Remek said, "Throw these bastards overboard before we become infested with lice and wash yourselves after touching them. The deck was washed with buckets of water to remove the blood and the ship again settled down.