Hi Prakash,
It took me a while to locate the muscle and even now after several weeks of occasional practice, my control over the muscle varies from day to day. Some days I just don't feel the same sensations as others. Other days I seem to want to tense the wrong muscles for some reason. Sometimes I'm just lazy and give up because I need to concentrate on driving or typing or whatever else it is I'm doing when I happen to think about doing some Kegels.
Here's the best thing: the next time you urinate, stop your urine midstream. Then start peeing again. And stop again. Do this several times whenever you pee. Pay attention to what it feels like when you stop your urine. Be aware of the space between the anus and the testicles. This area is called the perineum. You might feel some sensation there. It may be very slight. I experience the sensation as a fullness. It feels like the muscle is squeezing down around the part of the penis that extends back into the body.
I find that the sensation is not always possible to acheive. It may depend on what position my body is in. For instance, I can usually feel it when I'm lying on my back in bed in the morning. And sometimes the slight pressure on that area when I'm sitting helps me to concentrate on the perineum and feel the sensations better.
Sometimes I can only squeeze the PC for a second. With some repetitions I am able to squeeze a few a little longer. And then for some reason I can sometimes have lots of control and hold the contractions for several seconds.
Lately I've also been trying to get a sense for another sensation which is the feeling of the relaxed PC. I acheive this with a similar action to pushing out flatulence without any strain. I think this action is referred to as "bearing down." I do it at the end of a grip sometimes just to get a feel for what's happening in there. A urologist once told a friend of mine that the nerve structure in that area of the body can be very deceptive. So it's not surprising that it takes a while to build the kind of biofeedback with the PC muscle that comes easier with larger muscles in the body.
A more invasive approach to finding the PC is to gently insert something into the anus, a finger is a good start. Wear a latex glove over your finger and use plenty of lubrication. Petroleum jelly is a good idea. When you squeeze the PC you can feel it gripping your finger slightly. Some men may be uncomfortable with putting anything into the anus, and it's not necessary to getting control of the muscle, but it will give you a solid familiarity with your own anatomy with practice. You can also learn where your prostate gland is and this is all good stuff to know for a variety of reasons.
I hope this has been helpful. I've spent some time with Kegel's, but I'm far from being a master. I'm convinced that with all of this stuff it's best to take small steps. Play with the practice. Don't force anything. Learn a little bit during each session. Most of the stuff I've read about Kegels says that it can take a very long time to master this muscle.
Regards,
Rod | 
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