[JonPop]

Groan....Sorry kingpole but I gotta give ya 2 groans for that one. Groan..

[Hairtrigger]

There were two guys visiting Asia during the summer going to different parts of the continent seeing the different ways of life and learning about their
culture. They soon realized in certain areas prostitution was rampant. At first they tried to stay away but the thrill of slammin some sideways tail was
more than they could stand. Jim was more adventurous than Jon so he was the first to give in.

Jim: Jon, you won't beleive how incredible she was, you have got to go get some of that!!!!
I know it's only been 3 months since we had some but this has got to be the best I ever had!!!!!

Jon: Sounds like I need to go right now, where is she!!!!

Jim gave Jon the address and he quickly made his way to the prostitute district. Jon was kinda nervous but he was gonna make the best of the
situation. He quickly paid and grabbed her panties removing them with one quick jerk and with one fluid like motion bent the girl over the bed
and started banging her like ther was no tommorrow....... After about 30 minutes both of them lay exhausted on the bed the girl managed to
get up and slowly make her way to the door with her head hung down and shaking as if to be in shock of what just happened. Jon made his
way home kind of proud of his latest conquest, he couldn't wait to tell Jim of all that took place.

Jon: Man,you where right that was unbeleivable, I got her bent over and she just started screaming none stop like nothing I ever heard!!!
She was bucking and jerking so hard it was all I could do just to hold on!!!!

Jim was really kind of confused because all that happened to him was they got down and he left not to mention she never let out even a whimper....

Jim: Are you sure it was the same girl?

Jon: Oh yes, it hade to be!!!! When you was with her did she keep screaming her boyfriends name?

Jim: No, as a matter of fact she didn't scream at all....what is her boyfriends name?

Jon: I think his name is Wong Ho....

Jim: You IDIOT, she was screaming WRONG HOLE !!!!!!

[kingpole]

Originally Posted by JonPop

Groan....Sorry kingpole but I gotta give ya 2 groans for that one. Groan..

I think it deserves 5 groans and it least 3 grunts!

Here is another rerally bad one.

What did the banana say to the telephone poll?

[JonPop]

Oh...I don't know. Wrong number?

[JonPop]

Painting the Porch


A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer,
decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a
nearby well-to -do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first
house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How
much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint, brushes and everything she
would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation
said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way
around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, " You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all
those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the startled Husband asked.

"Yes, the blonde replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it
two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it
to her along with a ten dollar tip.

"And by the way, " the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

[kingpole]

Originally Posted by JonPop

Oh...I don't know. Wrong number?

A bug bit it. My 5 year old cousin came up with this one.

[Hairtrigger]

That was a good one JP, I'll add it to my list toward's the top.

[JonPop]

Originally Posted by kingpole

What did the banana say to the telephone poll?
A bug bit it.

Sorry buddy, you lost me on this one.

[JonPop]

So this Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas
ranch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher,"I need to
inspect your ranch for your water allocation."

The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."

The Water representative says, "Mister, I have the authority of the
Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed
to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or
answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.

Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the Water Rep
running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull. The bull
is gaining with every step.

The Rep is clearly terrified, so the old rancher immediately throws
down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his
lungs.....

"Your card! Show him your card!"

.

[SamWrerseSype]

Hi

(links removed by JonPop)

G'night

Yes. G'night spammer.