"Word!"

[TINKERBELL]

When you give your word to a female, ie say you will do something.
What are the deciding factors on whether or not you will keep your word?
And when giving it, as you are or before you are ..Do you already know whether or not you plan to follow through on it?

And what excuses to you come with to dodge keeping your word?

[BigO]

One should keep their word whether it is given to male or female.

[DontWakeTheBear]

Reasonableness of the promise and the circumstances surrounding what i have promised to do. Circumstances change and the possibility to do things changes with that. Did i promise to paint a room on monday but on sunday i hurt my back. Did i promise to help with organising household finances on saturday but i got called in for an emergency meeting that was exhausting.

Is the thing i promised to do actually what i thought it was that i promised i would do, was there a misunderstanding or a change in value of doing something for either person. Am i unwittingly promising my life to you (marriage) because i love you and you have secret debt that you would love to get rid of but don't truely love me back (really negative example but i couldn't think of another off the top of my head).

How much i care about the person will play a part. I know personally that if i don't care much for a person i will say something to the effect of dismissing them rather than actually meaning what i was saying. (i'm only human). E.g. i know i have said i would meet with a few people at a place i don't mind the people going but they are not especially dear to me so when circumstances changed and getting to said place was a hassle i decided not to go.

I can probably think of a few others ill write in later maybe... lol ironic

I like to think personally that if i give my word to anyone i keep it. But that is to say that i "gave my word" i.e. if i promise. Not if i casually say drunk and tired that i will do something sometime soon. To me that is merely pointing out that i am aware of the thing that needs to be done and i want you to know im aware of it but at this point in time i can not say when i will do said thing. This of course is different from saying i will do "(something)" "(time)".

so in general if i "give my word" i intend to go through with it, i'm not exactly shy about refusing to promise something i don't intend to go through with it. When breaking a promise i wouldn't call it an excuse but i would refer to the things i said above.

hope it answers your question or is at least interesting ^_^

[Steve23]

One should keep their word whether it is given to male or female.

Word.

[TINKERBELL]

I agree both should keep their word
but i am asking for the male perspective on why males don't.the ones who don't.

[XitemeM]

When you give your word to a female, ie say you will do something.
What are the deciding factors on whether or not you will keep your word?
And when giving it, as you are or before you are ..Do you already know whether or not you plan to follow through on it?

And what excuses to you come with to dodge keeping your word?

Well, if this happened to me I would probably have felt like I was forced to make a promise, and chances are that if I didn't do something that I said I would it's because I just plain forgot. Then when asked if I did that thing or not I'd probably be a bit cranky in my response because I would have wanted to have remembered it and it sucks feeling guilty. I find it best to set an alarm/reminder on my phone to make sure I remember.

[DontWakeTheBear]

i am getting the sense that you are asking about a specific incident or person not following through on their promise. Why don't you tell us about it and we can tell you what we think.

edit: i second the forgetting part :X hate when that happens

[TINKERBELL]

Its more like a theme i have noticed in my life. not as specific one off event.
I hold up my side of the agreement. and they (as in men) don't.
my word means something. i am tired of males dropping the ball and their word meaning nothing
so i am looking for insight into the male mind.. on why they break their word specifically towards females

[Steve23]

Too many variables and situations to get an answer, but Dontwakethebear pretty much sums it up. And I don't see it as a male thing, as both sides would be the same when it comes to certain situations. Did you not questions all these guys reasons to not keep their word?

[Gspot]

Its more like a theme i have noticed in my life. not as specific one off event.
I hold up my side of the agreement. and they (as in men) don't.
my word means something. i am tired of males dropping the ball and their word meaning nothing
so i am looking for insight into the male mind.. on why they break their word specifically towards females

It might be helpful if you clarify a little more or even give an example. Are you specifically talking about coupling and dating?? You are typically very thourough and write allot more so I suspect you are presently frustrated. I think I see where this is going but I do not want to make assumptions and give you an answer that is hard to hear if, given the insight and wisdom you often communicate, you already know it and are not asking for it to begin with.

The bigger picture is the cultural answer. I mean the real successful blokes in the world are all very truthful indeed! Politicians, dictators, lawyers, celebrities, hedge fund managers, mediums, all bastions of truth! For the common folk, I suspect much of it is just lazy wordmongering. The deeper issue and the virtues of integrity, honesty, and oath swearing (most of the other ones too) are lost today. While lying (and all froms of deception) is pandemic and the norm in secular society. A society once built on the idea that one's word is sacred, as God's Word is sacred. Not exactly the common practice or belief in the once very religious western world these days. But there have always been liars and those for whom deceitfulness is habitual, a way of life, or part of their very being. Today, people who tell the truth most of the time are strange and treated as mentaly unstable by the normal lying public--believe me I know having once been a liar, related to accomplished liars, sometimes friends with liars, and now honest to a fault. Lucky for us, the Gym is populated largely by truthmongers (as far as I can tell) who you will never meet and so do not give a damn and tell the truth--but I know you know that more than I know that.

Well, I clearly have issues too, mostly with deceitful women.