Hey guys I found the site after doing some research on the internet for some problems I've been having. I've read some of the articles and posts over the past few weeks but decided to join today. I'm basically having two issues, decreased sensitivity and occasional ED. I think the ED might be related to the first issue I'm having with decreased sensitivity. Let me give you some details to how I got where I'm at and I hope there is something I can do. This is going to be long so I apologize in advance.
My problems started a few years ago. I broke up with my GF at the time for cheating on me - it wasn't easy but I did and really didn't look back. The sex was pretty good and I really didn't have any issues with her. After that break up I had some issues with confidence and I started using food as a crutch and just let myself go. I didn't care about anything and I ballooned up in weight and became pretty heavy. I got into this rut for years and I didn't have a GF or have sex for a very long period of time. By long period of time I mean over 8 years.
During that time I would watch porn and masturbate a lot. I have a very strong grip and eventually I would need to use a death grip on my penis to achieve orgasm. I would use lotion or soap if I was in the shower/bathroom. The soap would irritate my penis after a while but being in a state of apathy I really didn't care. This went on for a while, years as I've mentioned before. About 3 years ago I met a woman and we hit it off pretty well at a party. We started dating and then started getting intimate. I was much heavier since the last time I had sex and I was very embarrassed about my body. We started with oral sex and when she would go down on me it was like I couldn't really feel anything and I would lose my erection after a few minutes. This was extremely embarrassing and emasculating which I think added to the ED. We dated for a few months and she broke up with me. I'm sure the intimacy issue was part of it even though she never mentioned it.
A year or so after that I started having health problems due to my weight and decided enough was enough. I stopped eating fast food and drinking soda. I started eating healthier and smaller portions. I joined a gym and got a personal trainer. I dropped around 70lbs and I feel so much better. I'm not where I want to be but I'm so much better than I was. I'm still working on myself constantly, losing weight, and making muscle gains in the gym every month. This brings me to the past few months. I met another woman through a mutual friend and we hit it off. We started dating a few weeks after that.
We started having sex right before we started dating. She had an issue with oral sex so we really didn't do that. I didn't push the issue because of my past experience. However it was basically the same thing all over again. When we had sex I would use a condom and honestly I could hardly feel anything through the condom. It was so bad I would actually lose my erection because I really couldn't feel anything. I also had trouble keeping an erection between switching positions. After a few weeks we had sex a few times with out a condom and it was better but still it didn't feel as good as I remembered it. It had been years since the last time I had sex. I remember it felt much better and there was a lot less stress as well. She would work with me but it would take forever for me to reach climax due to the decreased sensitivity and occasional ED that would follow. I would fake an orgasm some times because I just couldn't finish and was pounding away while she was done 10 - 15 minutes prior. She broke up with me last month to which I'm sure was due to the intimacy issues that I've been experiencing.
Is there anything I can do to increase the sensitivity of my penis? I got a Fleshlight to try to simulate a real vagina or mouth instead of using my hand. I've also started using a condom with the Fleshlight to try to build up sensitivity. I've also stopped using lotion and only use a water based lubricant to try and simulate what it really feels like. Sometimes I get frustrated and just take the condom off or just finish with my hand. I can't always finish just using the flesh light either. I also read somewhere that coconut oil was supposed to be good for restoring moisture to moist membranes so I've been using that on my penis. It seems to be helping a little but I'm not sure. I've started doing kegal exercises and I'm going through the beginners guide to the penis exercises here.
I had forgotten how nice it was to be in a committed relationship and having that companionship. I want to get right back out there and find someone else but I'm terrified of having these issues with another woman. I know this is a lot of information and this was very hard for me to share as I'm a very private person but I would like to correct this issue. I need some help! Is there anything you guys can recommend or any advice for sensitizing my penis? I would also like to grow it (who wouldn't) but I would really like to resolve the sensitivity and ED issues I'm having. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.