Military?

[JonPop]

Originally Posted by abhchelms

Retired Flight Deck Chief here. ABHC(AW) USNRET.

Welcome aboard Chief. This one's for you.

So you think you want to join the Navy?
This is for you "Black Shoe" Navy people . I'm sure others can relate. Sent to me by an old Swabbie friend.




This is the way it was. Every time I start missing old "haze gray and underway," I go through this list. Funny stuff and right on target. - Author unknown.

1. Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out, and live in it for six months.

2. Run all the pipes and wires in your house exposed on the walls.

3. Repaint your entire house every month.

4. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of the bathtub and move the shower head to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you turn off the water while you soap down.

5. Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high.

6. Once a week, blow compressed air up your chimney, making sure the wind carries the soot onto your neighbor's house. Ignore his complaints.

7. Once a month, take all major appliances apart and then reassemble them.

8. Raise the thresholds and lower the headers of your front and back doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass through them.

9. Disassemble and inspect your lawnmower every week.

10. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, turn your water heater temperature up to 200 degrees. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, turn the water heater off. On Saturdays and Sundays tell your family they use too much water during the week, so no bathing will be allowed.

11. Raise your bed to within 10 inches of the ceiling, so you can't turn over without getting out and then getting back in.

12. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Have your spouse whip open the curtain about 3 hours after you go to sleep, shine a flashlight in your eyes and say "Sorry, wrong rack."

13. Make your family qualify to operate each appliance in your house - dishwasher operator, blender technician, et cetera.

14. Have your neighbor come over each day at 5 AM, blow a whistle so loud Helen Keller could hear it, and shout "Reveille, reveille, all hands heave out and trice up."

15. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in your back yard at 6 AM while she reads it to you.

16. Submit a request chit to your father-in-law requesting permission to leave your house before 3 PM.

17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house and sweep the driveway three times a day, whether it needs it or not "Now sweepers, sweepers, man your brooms, give the ship a clean sweep down fore and aft, empty all trash cans over the fantail."

18. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your magazines and randomly lose every 5th item before delivering it to you.

19. Watch no TV except for movies played in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one.

20. When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone shouting that your home is under attack and ordering them to their battle stations "Now general quarters, general quarters, all hands man your battle stations."

21. Make your family menu a week ahead of time without consulting the pantry or refrigerator.

22. Post a menu on the kitchen door informing your family that they are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for an hour. When they finally get to the kitchen, tell them you are out of steak, but they can have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they ignore the menu and just ask for hot dogs.

23. Bake a cake. Prop up one side of the pan so the cake bakes unevenly. Spread icing real thick to level it off.

24. Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread.

25. Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night. At the alarm, jump up and dress as fast as you can, making sure to button your top shirt button and tuck your pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard and uncoil the garden hose.

26. Every week or so, throw your cat or dog in the pool and shout "Man overboard port side." Rate your family members on how fast they respond.

27. Put the headphones from your stereo on your head, but don't plug them in. Hang a paper cup around your neck on a string. Stand in front of the stove, and speak into the paper cup "Stove manned and ready." After an hour or so, speak into the cup again "Stove secured." Roll up the headphones and paper cup and stow them in a shoe box.

28. Place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have your family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4 hour intervals. This is best done when the weather is worst. January is a good time.

29. When a thunderstorm is in your area, get a wobbly rocking chair, sit in it and rock as hard as you can until you become nauseous. Make sure to have a supply of stale crackers in your shirt pocket.

30. For former engineers: Bring your lawn mower into the living room, and run it all day long.

31. Make coffee using eighteen scoops of budget priced coffee grounds per pot. Allow the pot to simmer 5 hours before drinking.

32. Have someone under the age of ten give you a haircut with sheep shears.

33. Sew the back pockets of your jeans on the front.

34. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go to the scummiest part of town. Find the most rundown trashiest bar. Drink beer until you are hammered. Walk all the way home.

35. Lock yourself and your family in the house for six weeks. Tell them that at the end of the 6th week you are going to take them to Disney World for "liberty." At the end of the 6th week, inform them the trip to Disney World has been canceled because they need to get ready for an inspection, and it will be another week before they can leave the house.

Sure do miss my time in the Navy

[abhchelms]

I know who Ed Freeman was. A man of great valor and heroism. The Medal Of Honor was a long time coming to this fine fine gentleman and great soldier. Gary Owen to you JonPop. You were part of the new 7th Calvary. You all fought a good fight in a valley that was doomed. Take care JonPop.

[abhchelms]

Very good JonPop. That's why I drive a truck over the road now. It's my Navy.

[JonPop]

Originally Posted by abhchelms

Very good JonPop. That's why I drive a truck over the road now. It's my Navy.

Hmmm. You don't have that truck painted "Battleship Gray" do you? *Hee*

So you now drive a Peter Built and come here to get your Peter Built?

[Scipio]

Royal Norwegian Guards.

[Merris]

Going to be. NO choice; it's military, civil service or prison. I'll try to get into the combat divers, a special forces branch of the naval forces...

[JonPop]

Did you hear the one about the old Marine veteran who asked
the Commandant to return him to active duty and send him to
Iraq?

Of course the Commandant refused, and told the old Marine
he had served his time in combat and should relax and enjoy
his golden years.

The 'ole Gunny wasn't at all pleased, so he wrote the Secretary
of the Navy with the same request. Back came the reply for
him to enjoy his golden years, because Iraq was a young Marine's
war and there was no place for him.

That really pissed him off, so he wrote his congressman a long,
heart wrenching letter explaining in great detail just why he felt
he should be returned to active duty.

Back came the reply almost word for word, the same as the SecNav
response.......

The 'ole Gunny was livid. He went down to the beach in Norfolk, VA
and bought a rowboat, and vowing to get to Iraq one way or the other,
he set out rowing his boat and singing the Marine Hymn...."

From the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli " .......... and
off he rowed for Iraq.

Saint Peter had been watching this grizzled 'ole Gunny all the while,
and was at first amused by it all but had grown increasingly concerned
as the Gunny displayed his commitment to his objective. Saint Peter
finally turned to God for advice on how to deal with this Gung Ho
Gunny.

After hearing the saga unfold, God advised Saint Peter to be merciful
and take the Gunny's brain, since that was the center of thought,
and he would simply abandon the idea about getting to Iraq.

Now, having taken God's advice and removing the Gunny's brain,
St. Peter observed little if any change in the Gunny's behavior. He
continued to row his boat and sing at the top of his voice:

"From the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli , we will
".......

A little frustrated at the lack of results of his efforts, St. Peter
turned again to his God and asked, "Now what?"

God said, "Well OK, take his heart, because not even a Marine can
function without a heart. So, that should end it."

But when St. Peter had completed his task, and removed the Gunny's
heart, he was again amazed that little if any change could be observed
in the Gunny's behavior as he continued to row his boat and sing:

"From the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli, we will fight
our country's battles...." at-the-top-of-his-voice.

Once again, St. Peter asked God for assistance with this unusual
situation for which there seemed to be no solution.

This time God responded by suggesting that St. Peter should remove the
Marine's testicles, since it's a well known fact that Marines can't
function without their testicles. Otherwise, what would be the reason for
Marines having the world wide reputation of having the balls to do the
impossible?

Convinced this was the answer, St. Peter went to work and removed the
'ole Gunny's balls.

Again, St. Peter observed the Marine, this time with his balls, brains and
heart removed, rowing in a never ending circle singing:

"Off we go, into the wild blue yonder."

[JonPop]

Long read, but very insightful, especially for the younger guys.



Vietnam Facts vs. Fiction.



This will take your mind off of the little skirmish in Iraq; for a little while anyway.

I found this article very interesting. The most notable fact is that 2.7 million Americans actually served in the Vietnam Theater of war.

In the last census nearly 14 million Americans claimed they served in Vietnam.

Four out of five are lying. I wonder why.


Vietnam Facts vs. Fiction


For over 30 years I, like many Vietnam veterans, seldom spoke of Vietnam, except with other veterans, when training soldiers, and in public speeches. These past five years I have joined the hundreds of thousands who believe it is high time the truth be told about the Vietnam War and the people who served there. It's time the American people learn that the United States military did not lose the War, and that a surprisingly high number of people who claim to have served there, in fact, DID NOT.

As Americans, support the men and women involved in the War on Terrorism. The mainstream media is once again working tirelessly to undermine their efforts and force a psychological loss or stalemate for the United States. We cannot stand by and let the media do to today's warriors what they did to us 35 years ago. Below are some assembled facts most readers will find interesting. It isn't a long read, but it will.....I guarantee....teach you some things you did not know about the Vietnam War and those who served, fought, or died there. Please share it with those with whom you communicate. Capt. Marshal Hanson, U.S.N.R (Ret.) Capt. Scott Beaton, Statistical Source

Vietnam War Facts: Facts, Statistics, Fake Warrior Numbers, and Myths Dispelled

9,087,000 (Million) military personnel served on active duty during the official Vietnam era from August 5, 1964 to May 7, 1975.
2,709,918 Americans served in uniform in Vietnam Veterans represented 9.7% of their generation.
240 men were awarded the Medal of Honor during the Vietnam War

1. The first man to die in Vietnam was James Davis, in 1958. He was with the 509th Radio Research Station. Davis Station in Saigon was named for him.

2. 58,148 were killed in Vietnam

3. 75,000 were severely disabled.

4. 23,214 were 100% disabled.

5. 5,283 lost limbs.

6. 1,081 sustained multiple amputations.

7. Of those killed, 61% were younger than 21.

8. 11,465 of those killed were younger than 20 years old..

9. Of those killed, 17,539 were married.

10. Average age of men killed: 23.1 years.

11. Five men killed in Vietnam were only 16 years old.

12. The oldest man killed was 62 years old.

13. As of January 15, 2004, there are 1,875 Americans still unaccounted for from the Vietnam War.

14. 97% of Vietnam Veterans were honorably discharged.

15. 91% of Vietnam Veterans say they are glad they served.

16. 74% say they would serve again, even knowing the outcome.

17. Vietnam veterans have a lower unemployment rate than the same non-vet age groups.

18. Vietnam veterans' personal income exceeds that of our non-veteran age group by more than 18 percent.

19. 87% of Americans hold Vietnam Veterans in high esteem.

20. There is no difference in drug usage between Vietnam Veterans and non-Vietnam Veterans of the same age group (Source: Veterans Administration Study)

21. Vietnam Veterans are less likely to be in prison - only one-half of one percent of Vietnam Veterans have been jailed for crimes.

22. 85% of Vietnam Veterans made successful transitions to civilian life.

23. Interesting Census Stats and "Been There" Wanabees:

a. 1,713,823 of those who served in Vietnam were still alive as of August, 1995 (census figures). b. During that same Census count, the number of Americans falsely claiming to have served in-country was: 9,492,958.

24. As of the current Census taken during August, 2000, the surviving U.S. Vietnam Veteran population estimate is: 1,002,511. This is hard to believe, losing nearly 711,000 between '95 and '00. That's 390 per day.

24. During this Census count, the number of Americans falsely claiming to have served in-country is: 13,853,027. By this census, FOUR OUT OF FIVE WHO CLAIM TO BE Vietnam vets are not.

25. The Department of Defense Vietnam War Service Index officially provided by The War Library originally reported with errors that 2,709,918 U.S. Military personnel as having served in-country. Corrections and confirmations to this erroneous index resulted in the addition of 358 U.S. Military personnel confirmed to have served in Vietnam but not originally listed by the Department of Defense. (All names are currently on file and accessible 24/7/365).

26. Isolated atrocities committed by American Soldiers produced torrents of outrage from anti-war critics and the news media while Communist atrocities were so common that they received hardly any media mention at all. The United States sought to minimize and prevent attacks on civilians while North Vietnam made attacks on civilians a centerpiece of its strategy.

27. Americans who deliberately killed civilians received prison sentences while Communists who did so received commendations. From 1957 to 1973, the National Liberation Front assassinated 36,725 Vietnamese and abducted another 58,499. The death squads focused on leaders at the village level and on anyone who improved the lives o f the peasants such as medical personnel, social workers, and school teachers. - Nixon Presidential Papers.


Common Myths Dispelled:

#1. Myth: Common Belief is that most Vietnam veterans were drafted. Fact: 2/3 of the men who served in Vietnam were volunteers. 2/3 of the men who served in World War II were drafted. Approximately 70% of those killed in Vietnam were volunteers.

#2. Myth: The media have reported that suicides among Vietnam veterans range from 50,000 to 100,000 - 6 to 11 times the non-Vietnam veteran population. Fact: Mortality studies show that 9,000 is a better estimate. "The CDC Vietnam Experience Study Mortality Assessment showed that during the first 5 years after discharge, deaths from suicide were 1..7 times more likely among Vietnam veterans than non-Vietnam veterans. After that initial post-service period, Vietnam veterans were no more likely to die from suicide than non-Vietnam veterans. In fact, after the 5-year post-service period, the rate of suicides is less in the Vietnam veterans' group.

#3.Myth: Common belief is that a disproportionate number of blacks were killed in the Vietnam War. Fact: 86% of the men who died in Vietnam were Caucasians, 12.5% were black, and 1.2% was other races. Sociologists Charles C. Moskos and John Sibley Butler, in their recently published book "All That We Can Be," said they analyzed the claim that blacks were used like cannon fodder during Vietnam "and can report definitely that this charge is untrue. Black fatalities amounted to 12 percent of all Americans killed in Southeast Asia, a figure proportional to the number of blacks in the U.S. Population at the time and slightly lower than the proportion of blacks in the Army at the close of the war."


#4 Myth: Common belief is that the war was fought largely by the poor and uneducated. Fact: Servicemen who went to Vietnam from well-to-do areas had a slightly elevated risk of dying because they were more likely to be pilots or infantry officers. Vietnam Veterans were the best educated forces our nation had ever sent into combat. 79% had a high school education or better. Here are statistics from the Combat Area Casualty File (CACF) as of November 1993. The CACF is the basis for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial (The Wall): Average age of 58,148 killed in Vietnam was 23.11 years. (Although 58,169 names are in the Nov. 93 database, only 58,148 have both event date and birth date. Event date is used instead of declared dead date for some of those who were listed as missing in action) Deaths Average Age Total: 58,148, 23.11 years Enlisted: 50,274, 22.37 years Officers: 6,598, 28.43 years Warrants: 1,276, 24.73 years E1 525, 20.34 years 11B MOS: 18,465, 22.55 years

#5 Myth: The common belief is the average age of an infantryman fighting in Vietnam was 19. Fact: Assuming KIAs accurately represented age groups serving in Vietnam, the average age of an infantryman (MOS 11B) serving in Vietnam to be 19 years old is a myth, it is actually 22. None of the enlisted grades have an average age of less than 20. The average man who fought in World War II was 26 years of age.

#6 Myth: The Common belief is that the domino theory was proved false. Fact: The domino theory was accurate. The ASEAN (Association of Southeast Asian Nations) countries, Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, and Thailand stayed free of Communism because of the U.S. commitment to Vietnam. The Indonesians threw the Soviets out in 1966 because of Americas commitment in Vietnam. Without that commitment, Communism would have swept all the way to the Malacca Straits that is south of Singapore and of great strategic importance to the free world. If you ask people who live in these countries that won the war in Vietnam, they have a different opinion from the American news media. The Vietnam War was the turning point for Communism.

#7 Myth: The common belief is that the fighting in Vietnam was not as intense as in World War II. Fact: The average infantryman in the South Pacific during World War II saw about 40 days of combat in four years. The average infantryman in Vietnam saw about 240 days of combat in one year thanks to the mobility of the helicopter. One out of every 10 Americans who served in Vietnam was a casualty.. 58,148 were killed and 304,000 wounded out of 2.7 million who served. Although the percent that died is similar to other wars, amputations or crippling wounds were 300 percent higher than in World War II ...75,000 Vietnam veterans are severely disabled. MEDEVAC helicopters flew nearly 500,000 missions. Over 900,000 patients were airlifted (nearly half were American). The average time lapse between wounding to hospitalization was less than one hour. As a result, less than one percent of all Americans wounded, who survived the first 24 hours, died. The helicopter provided unprecedented mobility. Without the helicopter it would have taken three times as many troops to secure the 800 mile border with Cambodia and Laos (the politicians thought the Geneva Conventions of 1954 and the Geneva Accords or 1962 would secure the border).

#8 Myth: Kim Phuc, the little nine year old Vietnamese girl running naked from the napalm strike near Trang Bang on 8 June 1972.....shown a million times on American television....was burned by Americans bombing Trang Bang. Fact: No American had involvement in this incident near Trang Bang that burned Phan Thi Kim Phuc. The planes doing the bombing near the village were VNAF (Vietnam Air Force) and were being flown by Vietnamese pilots in support of South Vietnamese troops on the ground. The Vietnamese pilot who dropped the napalm in error is currently living in the United States. Even the AP photographer, Nick Ut, who took the picture, was Vietnamese. The incident in the photo took place on the second day of a three day battle between the North Vietnamese Army (NVA) who occupied the village of Trang Bang and the ARVN (Army of the Republic of Vietnam) who were trying to force the NVA out of the village. Recent reports in the news media that an American commander ordered the air strike that burned Kim Phuc are incorrect. There were no Americans involved in any capacity. "We (Americans) had nothing to do with controlling VNAF," according to Lieutenant General (Ret) James F. Hollingsworth, the Commanding General of TRAC at that time. Also, it has been incorrectly reported that two of Kim Phuc's brothers were killed in this incident. They were Kim's cousins not her brothers.

#9 Myth: The United States lost the war in Vietnam. Fact: The American military was not defeated in Vietnam. The American military did not lose a battle of any consequence. From a military standpoint, it was almost an unprecedented performance. General Westmoreland quoting Douglas Pike, a professor at the University of California, Berkley a major military defeat for the VC and NVA.


FACT: THE UNITED STATES DID NOT LOSE THE WAR IN VIETNAM, THE SOUTH VIETNAMESE DID. Read on........


The fall of Saigon happened 30 April 1975, two years AFTER the American military left Vietnam. The last American troops departed in their entirety 29 March 1973.


FACT: How could we lose a war we had already stopped fighting? We fought to an agreed stalemate. The peace settlement was signed in Paris on 27 January 1973.

* It called for release of all U.S. prisoners, withdrawal of U.S. forces, limitation of both sides' forces inside South Vietnam and a commitment to peaceful reunification.

*The 140,000 evacuees in April 1975 during the fall of Saigon consisted almost entirely of civilians and Vietnamese military, NOT American military running for their lives.

*There were almost twice as many casualties in Southeast Asia (primarily Cambodia) the first two years after the fall of Saigon in 1975 then there were during the ten years the U.S. was involved in Vietnam.

*Thanks for the perceived loss and the countless assassinations and torture visited upon Vietnamese, Laotians, and Cambodians goes mainly to the American media and their undying support-by-misrepresentation of the anti-War movement in the United States.

*As with much of the Vietnam War, the news media misreported and misinterpreted the 1968 Tet Offensive. It was reported as an overwhelming success for the Communist forces and a decided defeat for the U.S. Forces. Nothing could be further from the truth. Despite initial victories by the Communists forces, the Tet Offensive resulted in a major defeat of those forces. General Vo Nguyen Giap, the designer of the Tet Offensive, is considered by some as ranking with Wellington, Grant, Lee and MacArthur as a great commander. Still, militarily, the Tet Offensive was a total defeat of the Communist forces on all fronts. It resulted in the death of some 45,000 NVA troops and the complete, if not total destruction of the Viet Cong elements in South Vietnam. The Organization of the Viet Cong Units in the South never recovered. The Tet Offensive succeeded on only one front and that was the News front and the political arena. This was another example in the Vietnam War of an inaccuracy becoming the perceived truth. However, inaccurately reported, the News Media made the Tet Offensive famous.

Please give all credit and research to: Capt. Marshal Hanson, U.S.N.R (Ret.) Capt. Scott Beaton, Statistical Source

[jayhawk11]

JP. I totally agree with your data about the TET Offensive. This is documented, but I was never taught about it in school. I had to find out what happened by myself. The movie "Full Metal Jacket" documents this very well. North Vietnamese forces were practically massacred. We really never lost a battle in Vietan did we?

Interesting read my friend.

Jayhawk

[Dustpan]

Jp,

There wasn't any mention of the Army Medical Corp that were there, and survived and made it back home.