[W.M.P.]

Originally Posted by baybabe

And why is it that when we get into a comfort zone with someone, we keep wanting to work it out. Is that the nature of humans?

It all depends on what it is that you've gotten comfortable with. Some people get "comfortable" (as in "miserably accepting") with getting treated like shit, like the woman I hooked up with at work. Married for 17yrs to a guy that has treated like crap from the very beginning, now she's finally seen that there's no such thing as holding out hope for him to change and she's getting ready for life on her own. In terms of my case, I must be fair and clarify some things that perhaps only JP, MBD and Pegasus are familiar with in regards to my girl. Truth is that, apart from the lacking in physical intimacy, she has been an overall great partner; a dependable, caring, generous friend, always willing to be there for me if I need her. Even during her worst moments during the last year, she never lashed out to me, disrespected me or anything like that. She simply let herself get consumed in worry and it just killed her libido. The situation was as much a drag for me as it was for her; she was very aware that she had not been feeling like her old self for quite a while and did not know what to do about it; it did bother her to no end. She apologized several times for (in her words) "not being a good girlfriend" and also voiced that she hated that fact that she couldn't even muster the inspiration to think about having sex, which is something that she had always loved and enjoyed.

Just thinking... you are back together with this girl that seems to me may have a low libido which will just worsen with age, why?

This is actually my first experience in terms of giving someone a second chance so I guess it has to do with me not giving up so quickly and perhaps come out of this with nothing more than some valuable lessons. Her libido used to be as good and healthy as can be so one can only hope that she'll adapt to the realities of life and get back on track with enjoying life like she used to. I thought that libido actually gets better with age when it comes to women...or at least that's the common wisdom out there.

Only time will tell, but one thing's for sure and she's already been made aware of it: I will not settle for anything less than a sexually satisfying relationship and I will not stop looking until I find my match. What's so crazy about this (and perhaps what keeps me from just dumping her for good) is that, when she's in the mood...she is UNBELIEVABLE in bed. I've been fortunate enough to be with a nice variety of women throughout my life and I must say that when my girl is in the mood, she is without a doubt THE VERY BEST I have ever been with. Sex with her is simply unreal, which is why it's even more frustrating when she goes for long periods without letting herself relax and have some good times. Again, only time will tell.......but she's been clearly made aware of what I want and that I will not settle for anything less, whether that ends up being with her or with someone else.

[W.M.P.]

Originally Posted by Nikki

The best thing I can advise is to take your time and really get to know the person you are interested in before making a commitment to them, whether it is exclusively dating, living together or getting married. The longer you know someone, the better chance you have of really knowing what their character is, how they deal with stress, how much or how little sex there will be, household chores, etc.

Ditto. That's what dating is all about. I used to get all psyched up and overly excited about relationships but these days I know better not to. I used to put women in these pedestals, but time and experience has shown me that they are "imperfect", flesh & bone human beings just like us men. Women have fears, hopes and dreams just the same as the guy standing right next to them. Women can be as annoying, clumsy and insecure as any man out there.

I think the main culprit when it comes to my girl's faults (and this is something we have been discussing lately) is her inability to properly cope with stress. It all comes down to that very simple fact and if she doesn't put some effort to improve on that, there's no doubt that this will never work.

All in all, relationships need effort from both parties in order to make it work.