An unusual case?

[2muchtension Member Find all posts View Profile Close 2muchtension]

Hi,

I've been visiting these boards for well over a year, reading and learning, and have finally decided to register. This was prompted by recent life events and a good deal of frustration.

Background: My issues with PE have been on and off throughout my life and mostly brought on my performance anxiety and tension. I'm not sure why, but I seem to have an abnormal amount of tension in my pelvic muscles. It was so bad that it was causing issues with my prostate and only in the past few years have I stopped taking antibiotics and recognized that it's a tension issue (read more here: Prostatitis - Prostatitis is a Tension Disorder). I've always done kegel exercises, thinking it would help with PE, but I think these actually made the problem worse by increasing tension. Recently, I've started doing reverse kegels to help balance my pelvic floor, but I've been treating them more like a strengthening exercise than a stretching exercise (oops).

One of the main problems I've identified is my strong involuntary kegel reflex which brings me close to PONR. I can edge for a very long time and maintain relaxation while masturbating, but as soon as it comes to sex, especially when I'm thrusting, my reflex is out of control and PE takes over. It actually seems to have gotten worse recently with training, so I took a few days off, thinking I had overtrained. But now I seem to have gone backwards. I was trying to focus more on reverse kegels, thinking it was an imbalance, but the set back was very discouraging.

Should I only just continue to do reverse kegels and try to master control?

[_Jericho_ Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close _Jericho_]

im not a pro, and you should wait for others to reply. but just a thought that crossed my mind - if OPs problem is anything related to thrusting. maybe STU Fleshlight could help? so he could thrust while edging.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Have you tried deep squats and yoga strwtches? Anxiety will cause issues in itself. Thrusting brings in muscles which strengthen the kegel . Lot of head issues here but not my area.

[2muchtension Member Find all posts View Profile Close 2muchtension]

Thanks for the feedback. I have an STU and have been practicing with that. It's part of how I realized I was IK'ing with thrusts.

I was doing meditation RKs last night and I will continue to practice those and help isolate things. I also massaged my general pc/bc region hoping that might relieve some of the tension.

I usually edge/masturbate while sitting down and I think that has led to bad habits. I usually finish while standing and that has probably caused some conditions issues or association with ejaculation. I noticed that it's harder to kegel while standing and my EQ declines a bit. It was also easier to reach PONR while standing. Maybe it's harder to keep those muscles relaxes when I'm standing?

I'm in pretty good shape and play sports. I also do weight training with squats and deadlifts. But I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try some deep squats and get the extra stretching without the weight. Thanks!

Edit: Oh, I feel like it's important to mention that I pee alot. Definitely more when I'm drinking coffee, but I often have the sensation that my bladder has urine in it even when it's not completely full. I think this is probably also related to tension.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

The standing position allows easier use of leg and bumm muscles which strengthen kegel effect.
I think you have issuess related to how kegels are used within sex ,take notice of what is going on.

[2muchtension Member Find all posts View Profile Close 2muchtension]

I tried the deep squats and they felt amazing. Felt like I was unwinding a rusty old spring - Thanks Pegasus.

Had an edging session and was able to stand with complete control. Also practiced getting really close to PONR and teasing it a few times. To the point where you're hardly using your hand at all.

I've also kicked porn to the curb. I have a suspicion that the over-arousal from porn was causing some of the IKs. Practicing without the STU for a few days then I'll give it another shot.

I guess this can be my log. =p

Thanks guys

[_Jericho_ Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close _Jericho_]

happy to hear that 2muchtension. thanks to your last comment im gonna start doing deep squats tomorrow and see what happens. should've done that back when MM,Pegasus and LLN told me to. but i was too lazy

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

I tried the deep squats and they felt amazing. Felt like I was unwinding a rusty old spring - Thanks Pegasus.

Had an edging session and was able to stand with complete control. Also practiced getting really close to PONR and teasing it a few times. To the point where you're hardly using your hand at all.

I've also kicked porn to the curb. I have a suspicion that the over-arousal from porn was causing some of the IKs. Practicing without the STU for a few days then I'll give it another shot.

I guess this can be my log. =p

Thanks guys

Since you noted that you reach PONR faster while standing up you might want to look into https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...aculation.html as well.

Anyway keep at this till it stops giving the results, post observations form your edging sessions and in general from time to time and we will probably be able to identify the problem more closely in the future.

[2muchtension Member Find all posts View Profile Close 2muchtension]

Been working with the STU and slowly trying to get rid of IKs. They're still there, but I feel like when I can suppress them and really get comfortable, I can edge for a really long time.

MM, I definitely have the anterior pelvic tilt. It's quite pronounced actually, but doesn't give me back problems because I work out. However, I have trouble standing in one place for extended periods of time. I'll read more about how it might be causing issues - thanks!

[OceanCowboy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close OceanCowboy]

2muchtension, I have many of the same symptoms and also thought that I had/have prostatitis. I went to see a urologist and had two appointments. The doctor said I did not... Though I too am always going to the bathroom or feel like my bladder is always full. Coffee makes that sensation much worse. I can edge for a long time, but as soon as I start deep thrusting, the PONR creeps on up. I also notice semen in my urine after going number 2. I wish I could have gotten a little more feedback from the urologist. Have you gone to see one?

[Minuteman Member of the Month March 2013. Find all posts View Profile Close Minuteman]

Been working with the STU and slowly trying to get rid of IKs. They're still there, but I feel like when I can suppress them and really get comfortable, I can edge for a really long time.

MM, I definitely have the anterior pelvic tilt. It's quite pronounced actually, but doesn't give me back problems because I work out. However, I have trouble standing in one place for extended periods of time. I'll read more about how it might be causing issues - thanks!

Definitely check the links in the topic provided above (especially the Neanderthal No More articles).

2muchtension, I have many of the same symptoms and also thought that I had/have prostatitis. I went to see a urologist and had two appointments. The doctor said I did not... Though I too am always going to the bathroom or feel like my bladder is always full. Coffee makes that sensation much worse. I can edge for a long time, but as soon as I start deep thrusting, the PONR creeps on up. I also notice semen in my urine after going number 2. I wish I could have gotten a little more feedback from the urologist. Have you gone to see one?

You might have this problem as well. For example for the bladder since the pelvic is tilted it creates a pressure on the bladder and irritates it. When you deep thrust the psoas muscles that are already tense make your pelvic floor even tenser, and the overextended back just increase that tension and robs you of the relaxed range of motion.

[2muchtension Member Find all posts View Profile Close 2muchtension]

2muchtension, I have many of the same symptoms and also thought that I had/have prostatitis. I went to see a urologist and had two appointments. The doctor said I did not... Though I too am always going to the bathroom or feel like my bladder is always full. Coffee makes that sensation much worse. I can edge for a long time, but as soon as I start deep thrusting, the PONR creeps on up. I also notice semen in my urine after going number 2. I wish I could have gotten a little more feedback from the urologist. Have you gone to see one?

That is interesting, especially considering the ambiguity and uncertainty among doctors regarding Prostatitis. It's very strange. In some cases, the inflammation isn't caused by a bacterial infection but antibiotics actually help the symptoms. I had my first issue with it at the age of 17 and yes, the doctor was very surprised. It basically plagued me for about 6 or 7 years thereafter, not often, but now that I think back it usually coincided with stress from school. I found even when I was dehydrated that going #2 could irritate it, or if I hadn't gone for a long run in a while, the soreness from the muscles caused it. I realized that the issue is (and the developments since making this thread have further led me to believe) caused by muscle tension. One day, I saw a walk in doctor, expecting to get more antibiotics, but he simply refused to believe that I actually had prostatitis. He gave me some urinary incontinence meds for old people and these helped with the symptoms a bit, but also made it so that when you orgasmed there wasn't any ejaculate. It was kinda scary. So I went back and he gave me these muscle relaxants which target the pelvic floor. Since then, I haven't had any issues, and the few time I have, I've just popped half of one of the small blue pills (can't remember the name but if someone really wants to know I can check). I've never seen semen after going #2 and did see a Urologist when I was ~22. He told me I was fine, although at this point the "prostatitis" had already been treated with antibiotics. As I get older, I realize more and more than you have to listen to your body and find out what works for you. Anyway, I hope that helps.

I think you're onto something with the anterior plevic imbalance, MM. I've started doing stretching and exercises to help counter it, and today I walked around with proper posture. Back is a little sore but I know it will be good overall. Not only could it maybe help with PE but I'll likely be able to lift more in the gym, might gain some height, and will be healthier overall.

Also, I should point out that relatively recently I've had issues with long distance running. It turned out to be an IT-band problem and I've been using a foam roller to stretch it. But again, another symptom of the tight pelvis and APT.

Edging is going really well with the STU. I recommend for anyone who is on the fence about getting an STU... do it. Not only does it feel good and enhance masturbation, but it's the closest thing to sex without a condom. I imagine for people with performance anxiety or psychological issues, it would help, too. In a way, using the STU is similar to transferring from foreplay to condom/lube in the bedroom and from personal experience, it's that quick transition where all the anxiety and other performance issues come up.

[2muchtension Member Find all posts View Profile Close 2muchtension]

Update: I've been working on exercises to fix the anterior pelvic tilt and it's going well. My hips already feel higher and I notice them more often.

I took a few days break from the STU because I was out of town and lack of privacy meant I couldn't edge. However, I hooked up with an ex and timed my ejaculation with hers could have gone even longer - so that went well.

After getting home I experienced some set backs but these were probably due to a few days off and not ejaculating. I've been edging and practicing kegels and rks, but still experiencing alot of IKs.

I've also started doing some of these stretches: (https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...ive-guide.html) but can't really comment on progress yet. I experience IKs far more when I'm trying to focus on something else.

Given that it's a tension issue, should I try to avoid kegals?

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Try a routine without kegels for 2 weeks and report back.

[2muchtension Member Find all posts View Profile Close 2muchtension]

Update:

I've been focusing more on edging just with my hand and things are going well. I typically do 20 minutes then incorporate more stimulus to make things harder.

I haven't been doing any kegels during the edging session and try to maintain a neutral pelvic floor and I've noticed less IKs. However, as soon as I use the STU I reach PONR in a matter of seconds and the IKs are uncontrollable. I've made huge progress correcting the anterior pelvic lift and have been doing stretching, but I still feel like the pelvic floor is really tight.

I felt like I was making progress, especially with the arousal level, but I've actually gotten worse with the STU =/