Any man that feels "inadequate" as a result of his woman stimulating herself while fucking, is a man who needs to step aside of his ego and do some much needed reading. Not all women can cum from penetration (even with grinding) alone; some simply need to rub that clit in order to cum. Also, as much as I'm open to learning my girl's body as much as she can lead me to, truth is that NOBODY knows how to wok her clit like her very own self, just like nobody knows how to rub our cocks like our own selves. I'm all about getting the woman off by whatever means necessary and with my present girlfriend I knew from the beginning that she needed some external stimulation to get off.........so I did not waste any time in buying a couple of high-quality vibrators to keep by my bed for whenever she comes by for a romp. I love it when she fingers herself and I love it when she uses the vibrator too. In fact, I like it more when she uses the vibrator cause she has these THUNDERING orgasms that are nothing short of spectacular. Getting my girl off is what gets ME off, so I'm all about making that happen. Lately we've been doing this "orgasmic prelude" where she'll use the vibrator while I simply lay by her side and lightly kiss and caress her whole chest with one hand while cradling her head/stroking her hair with the other. This brings her to these super-intense orgasms that are just majestic. As soon as she cums, I grab her while in the midst of that altered state of mind and proceed to fuck her in such fashion that it takes her into an even higher place. We did this very routine last nite and when we got done, she looked like she had drank herself into a blissful stupor; she could barely walk herself to her car and called me on her way home telling me that she felt like she was DWI.
In terms of fucking her hard while she works her clit, what I do is that I push her legs down and away from me, which tilts her pelvis upwards; this allows me to fuck her as hard and fast as I can without interfering with her handy work.