Journey to Recovery

[dexter68569]

A good PE session today morning.

NO porn yet..

[dexter68569]

Doing PE session -- Jelqing + V jelq with .. 60%- 80% hard on

there is some visible grith gain + flaccid hang.

Sensitivity has increased.
Will rest tomorrow.

[dexter68569]

Need ur Input.

Not a good day .
I pooped out today.
I did edging exercise for 20 mins. I was happy and i left myself high and dry at PONR. I did reverse kegel and stopped.
While taking shower i felt a different kind of sensation in my penis and i thought its better to ejaculate cause i hadn't done so in a week time. So i was robust and i popped out soon. I did all that in 5 min time.

Though afterwards i felt a burning sensation which i sue to feel only when i had masturbated 3 times in a day. This was strange cause i popped out only once nad i was feeling the burning sensation.
Though that subsided soon in 15 min.

The problem resurfaced.
I again started to feel ...like before... Nothing sexual after .. ejaculation. I guess thats normal but .. somewhere in my mind.. a Q popsout.. what if... i had a girl and after one round she wanted another. In this case .. i cannot... I am just one time show.


The same feeling continued for the whole day and at night i again forced myself to ejaculate.. It was tough.. to even get hard.. I got 70% hard and by the time i got there i lost interest and i left.

Again i tried after 15 min.. and this time i ejaculated. I was flaccid and with my strokes i got harder and harder... and when i reached the peak... i ejaculated. All this took 5 mins.

Now, i feel like my mental storm is gone.. otherwise.. it was killing me.. that u should get hard.. .. why don't u?
but this also worries me. now i will be good to ejaculate in couple of days.
this isn't right.

I remember.. when i had a cam friend.... i use to get hard .. the moment i use to see her.Unfortunately, that relationship.. didn't continue for long....

need ur input.

[dexter68569]

Ok..i have been doing my exercise.
I even had a morning wood the next day ..after i wrote above post.
I did my pe exercise.. Jelqing and v-jelq.

I have been taking L-argininie and Multi-vitamins.going to gym too.

Not watching porn. Though i am now active on yahoo msg..looking for girls. Found three.. yesterday and.. i had to popp out today as i was very much in mood.
The only wory i have is.. that i loose my erections the moment i stand up..or do something else. Like when i am alone in my toilet...i have a very good hard on and no problem.. but on cam.. i have trouble maintaining the hard on. Though i really feel... this L-arginine is helping me . Though i am suspicious if it wull cause me .. some trouble.. after wards.,...Ur inputs r appreciated.

[dexter68569]

Was.. completely off porn and sexy imagery for two weeks. I didn't even .. ejaculate.

Sadly.. i watched porn yesterday and i ejaculated in the morning with porn fantasy. I was feeling good in those two weeks. But just don't know.. had a rush of blood and watched the porn yesterday.

Still continuing with L-arginine. It is helping me.