Journey to Recovery

[dexter68569]

Hi,

I have porn induced ED. I was suffering from low self esteem too. I was so bad that i use to watch porn for 2 hrs. I use to do edging for 40mins. I was masturbating 6-7 times a week. I was a DICK.
Well, i understood that my way of releasing sexual tension was wrong when one day, i wasn't able to get hard for a real girl.
I was shocked, in total abyss depression. I finally found a girl on chat and since then my recovery has been good. I use to get a good hard on with her and i finally made myself believe that i was normal.
The bad news is, she no longer chats with me. I had gone back to my dark sexual work of porn watching and masturbating watching it .

I now want to fully recover from my porn fetish.
Hence, here i will be logging my recovery.

Its been 8 days without porn and masturbation.
My balls r heavy and i get a 80% hard thinking abt a sexual fantasy. My hard on doesn't stay the same for more than 2-3 mins. I occasionally stroke my rod during my fantasy.

The only problem is , i feel a deep need for porn or should i say a need to get a very strong hard on which i get watching porn and stroking.
I donot feel very sexual all through out the day. Its just that when i am alone at night and i think about one sexy girl i meet long time ago that i get a 70-80% hard.

I am writing this as my log. I want to recover from my porn addiction and want to be the man i am suppose to be .. fuck girls..not porn.

I am sure there would be few people with the same situation like me here in this forum.
I want them to share their thoughts about how they recovered and how they became better.
I am not doing JP routine right now. I think after 10 days i will start that to check my sexual urges.
I donot fel sexual right now.. i feel thats common when a person is detoxing.

I am 27 yrs of age. I weigh 140 pounds(70 kilos) and i have quit smoking. I know i am on the right path just need fellow companions for this journey to complete recovery and thereafter to a Bigger ... Harder ...and Healthy ROD.

[dexter68569]

Day -9.

Got a little Hard watching .. a sexy video..

Except that ... no other feeling.

Didn't felt anything .. sexual.. other than that.

Hoping to get over thisporn addiction soon... this detox.. phase.. is .. urging me to.. watch ..sexy girl videos.

[BTBrian]

Dude, I was in the same boat as you. I didn't even realize my problem until I had problems getting hard several times with different girls. You can get over this. Step 1 is cut out all porn, videos, pictures, and fantasies. Read this article, pe_Zen knows what he's talking about:
Don't RELY on porn for an erection!

In order to get over this you need to reboot your brain. I'd recommend ejaculating (just because it's been so long since you have) and then starting a complete abstinence program for at least a week. Do not look at ANY even SLIGHTLY sexy images. It might sound hard but you can do it you've just gotta be tough. After that you might want to start trying to get erections; here's what you should do. Go somewhere completely dark - or where a blindfold - and completely quiet and just relax. Then just use extremely light touching on yourself. Don't jack off or anything, just lightly brush your penis in your ball. You probably won't get more than 20-30% hard from doing this. Don't fantasize while you're doing this. The goal is to be able to get erections from physical sensations only.

Now during the first couple of weeks you will not feel horny AT ALL. You will not get erections easily, and you will just not be horny at all. This is completely normal when recovering from porn-induced ED. If you feel the need to, you should masturbate and ejaculate at some point. When you feel you are ready, move from light stroking to light edging (still in the dark with no external stimuli).

After a while of this you will start seeing marked improvements. I have been mostly off of porn for about a month and a half and now have no problems staying hard for my girl and it's a wonderful feeling you'll get there one day too.

I can't stress how important it is to NOT WATCH PORN!!! Last week I decided I thought I was ready to watch porn. So I did and since then I feel like I regressed a lot; for the couple of days after i felt like I was starting all over again.

Just stick with it and STICK TO PE_ZENS RULES!!! NO PORN, PICS, FANTASIES, OR ANYTHING!!!!!

Good luck!!!

[BTBrian]

Also, read the Erectile Dysfunction forums on here too, there's a ton of great info on there from guys way more knowledgeable than me.

[dexter68569]

Thanks a ton.

It is so soothing to know that there are people around who were in the same situation as i am and have been totally cured.

I am not watching porn..or ejaculating.I have at times read a sexy porn comics. I will also abstain from it .
I also thinking about hitting the gym, gain 5 kilos as it would make me feel more assured. I have always had this thought that girls go for better built person. Plus, it is a confidence booster for someone going through a tough phase.
I am 27 years old. and my height is 5-7" and i weigh 70 kilos.

I am not going to watch porn. I am abstaining myself ..and i feel non-sexual...for most of the days. This is very nice to learn that it is a recovery phase condition and soon things will turn for better.
Day-10

still going strong ...
NO porn
penis feels healthy. the skin on it now feels different. I guess that's a positive sign.
Went for my first session at gym... body aches but i am loving it.

Wana get better .. and stronger.

[dexter68569]

Day-11

NO Porn. No sexy erotic magazines.
Having erections in day just by thinking abt girl. I think this is a good sign.
Went to gym. my body aches..but i am loving it.
BTbrain.. you have recommended no fantasy but i am struggling with it.I do fantasie.. about sleeping with my girl at night. I get a hard on ..thinking abt it.
Is there really a need to even stop fantasy?

[Dance Sucka]

Hey man! I want to create my own fantasies instead of relying on porn too!

I use this website when I'm having sexual thoughts and thinking about masturbating (there's a forum here too): Free Recovery Course

You NEED to start dating and forming healthy sexual relationships with women. Having sex with girls every way you want to is the ultimate cure for porn, I believe. I mean, who needs porn ever again when you're getting the REAL deal?

-Dance

[BTBrian]

Dexter - it is ok to have fantasies and it might be good even. Being able to get hard from fantasies is a good sign. But according to pe_Zen you shouldn't rely on fantasies when masturbating just like you shouldn't rely on porn. Any time you're masturbating or edging you should focus solely on the physical sensations.

[dexter68569]

Thanks Dance Sucka,
I had a girl with whom i use to do cam to cam . She knew me well and we had been chatting for a long time. When this relationship took centrestage, i was able to get an erection everytime, she was around.
I was relaxed with her and getting a hard on with her was easy. Unfortunately, something went wrong and now she doesn't come online.
So, i know that i do perform when a real girl is around atleast on cam.
But, since then i went towards porn and have been trying to recover since then.
I get hard on with my fantasies now. BUt i want to become better. I will definitely read those articles on the website.

[Dance Sucka]

Sorry dude, but even cam 2 cam sex is not a real relationship. It's too antisocial. You have to really work hard to get out there and meet people. Imagine what your life would be like if you didn't rely on the internet and could meet people while you're out and about? These people could become good friends too!

You can't really feel someone from a video, but you can when they're in the same room!