HotRod's Big Log

[HotRod]

Normalizing

Well, gentlemen...I seem to be normalizing.

I saw my doctor last week and should have the results of my hormone test in the mail within the next few days.
My doctor was a little skeptical that I should have any hormonal problems since I wasn't exhibiting the usual symptom complex. But he had them draw blood for thyroid, testosterone, and free testosterone....if I'm remembering that terminology correctly.

After I gave him my list of complaints, he asked me how isolated I was. He probably hit the nail on the head. I'm just out of it socially and especially frustrated because I've been trying to make progress in that area and hitting lots of walls. My doctor thinks I have anxious depression. He's right but I refuse to take the pills. I tried many of them in the 1990s and none of them helped.

I'm going through a difficult learning phase in my life right now and many of my friends are no longer available because they are pairing up, cohabitating, having families, and getting married. I am a dying breed in that I am the only single man never married over 40 I know. At least I'm not a virgin.

PE:
I continue to do kegels...a few at random each day and I think they have helped.

I'm thinking that I will resume jelqing at some point this summer. I'd still like to reach for some modest gains.

I logged here that I had gained 1/8 inch lenght and 1/16 inch girth. If this was indeed a gain (and I think it was) I have retained this progress. Everytime I measure it's still there.

EQ:
Erections when fully aroused are excellent and sex drive is returning. I'm devouring free Internet porn and masturbating with a decadence.

Dating:
The girl I was obsessed with has a boyfriend. I saw them together and when I talk to her now she talks about how "we did this" or "we did that." I waiting too long to ask her out. I played out my old pattern of behavior with women who attract me and I'm doing my best to learn everything I can from it.

[Iguana]

Hot Rod,

That's very good news. I'm glad to hear you are doing better. At least you have identified the source of your issues, which is a major step in resolving them. I was single for a few years not long ago. I'm 43, so I can relate to how you feel. All my friends were married and I felt like a 3rd wheel. I found it helpful to find interests that were of a group nature that way I didn't feel left out.

One good advantage is you have the perfect situation for pursuing PE right now. I would put my nose to the grind stone and use this time wisely. Trust me, once you are married, time for such interest and pursuits goes out the window. Plus, PE builds confidence and confidence attracts women.

But as far as relationships go, sometimes we just have to take a break and work on ourselves. Once we right the wrongs in our own lives everything else seems to fall into place. Sounds like you are well on your way to doing that.

It's good to see you are still doing some PE. I'm very confident your gains are here to stay. Now you just have to get off the couch and get that next 1/8" that is waiting in the wings for you.

Anyway, just hang in there and know we are in your corner!

Iguana

[HotRod]

Hormone Update

I'm a little irritated with my doctor right now.

I expected to receive my lab results in the mail over a week ago. So I called today and here's what happened:

I got a voice mail back from his nurse explaining that some of my levels were "a little low," and that the doctor wants me to schedule an appointment with him. She's supposed to be giving me another call back to give me the detailed numbers. I guess they don't like to leave that stuff in voice messages.

I was tested for thyroid, testosterone, and free testosterone.

Lately, I've been feeling better. Still emotionally and physically not quite 100%, but I never have been, but in terms of sex drive and sexual function, I'd say things are as pretty close to being as good as ever.

So I thought I'd at least check back in and give this update until I know more.

I'd be very skeptical of having discovered a silver bullet, but I'm eager to hear what my doctor has to say because he is a very skilled diagnostician and is sure to have some wise counsel on next steps.

Thanks, JonPop. I would not have explored this had it not been at your urging which I admit I was a little annoyed by at first. Thanks, Man.

[HotRod]

Okay, so here are the details from my hormone test (as much detail as I got over the phone this mornign - they were just calling to make an appointment):

Testosterone - Low to Mid
Thyroid - Low
THSC - Low

So. I'll know more after 6/20 when I actually sit down with the doctor.

I'm sure he'll refer me to an endocrinologist who will do more detailed lab work and this will probably play out over the next couple months.

Based on my long history of social anxiety, depression, etc. - I doubt that this is going to amount to a skeleton key to my chronic complaints, but it's worth investigating further.

I hate doctors and their stupid tests. My experience has been that they put you through all this shit and then there turns out to be nothing wrong. It wouldn't surprise me if the next lab work indicates normal levels.

Ah well, I'll go along with it. Insurance should cover most of it.

[Iguana]

Sounds like you are on to something HotRod. Let us know how things go with your appointment.
I hope this proves to be beneficial for you!

[HotRod]

Well, I don't know what the fuck my doctor is thinking.

I got some of my results in the mail today:

Testosterone total: 383 ng/dL (240-950)
Testosterone free: 9.2 ng/dL (9.0-30.0)

He also said in a note that thyroid was slightly low (no number given) and TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was 2.97.

2.97 falls within the normal range of .3-3.0 or .5-5.0 depending on which scale is used.

I think this is bullshit.

I fall within normal ranges for all these hormones. When I had a blood workup last fall my red cell count was just slightly on the low range border, but the doctor said it was nothing to worry about. NORMAL.

People with anemia fall way below the normal range. People with hormonal problems also probably fall outside this range. I return to the fact that I just don't have the symptom complex usually associated with hypothyroidism or hypogonadism.

There's nothing wrong with my hormones. My doctor is overreacting. He says, "we could meet to discuss treatment options." Yeah, okay.

When I see him on the 20th I'm going to demand to see an endocrinologist and get a more complete lab profile and a second opinion.

I read online that your testosterone levels can actually be lower later in the day and that for optimum test results the blood should be drawn before 10AM. The above test was done on blood drawn at 515PM.

Whatever.

[JonPop]

Testosterone supplements will actually raise your Red Blood count. A ways back, my Dr actually had me stop the Andorgel for awhile as my Red Blood count was getting a little high.

[HotRod]

Okay.

I'm going to be making a PE comeback by the beginning of next week.

I'm going to start back on a light PE routine and choose a more modest goal of: excellent EQ and a growth goal of no more than 7X5...roughly. I'm not far from that now.

My progress after about 2 months of PE (Feb 2008 to April 2008) was roughly 1/8 inch length and 1/16 inch girth. I haven't lost any of those gains. I use a fairly rigorous measurement method and it has been consistent since I discovered those initial gains. I was also having better erections there for a while. On a good day I can still get to about 11 on a scale of 1-10.

As far as my mood and low EQ as of April/May: I've explored several factors. Nothing is concrete and my hormones at least seem to fall in the normal range. I'm going to follow up with my doctor on Friday. I'm taking this all very conservatively.

I have had some ongoing personal frustrations and so I believe that most of my erectile woes are attributable to psychological and emotional states. It gets kind of complicated, and it's not important that I rehash all that at the moment.

My EQ remains variable and sometimes disappointing. I don't have a sex partner, and when I'm masturbating I'm usually choosing to do so when I'm tired...almost dozing off, so EQ is about 50%.

I have also ceased looking at pornography and this is a major interruption in my usual sexual activity. I have subtracted a major component of my usual stimulation. There are some important reasons why I made this choice which I can expand on later, but I'm taking some advice from a pretty amazing source. Basically it comes down to wanting to ground my sexuality and my perception of female sexuality in the natural and the real. I am trying to have natural, quality sexual relationships with women...not just feeding the sexploitation (of men) machine in our culture. It's sort of an experiment, but the promise is that by doing this I will have more power in my relationships with women and be better able to connect with their real sexuality...rather than mistaking the images of porn and sexploitation for female sexuality. I'll let everyone know how this develops.

[Hairtrigger]

I don't know what that is above but it won't be there for long when JP find's it. Probably don't need to click on it.

Good to see you back at it. I don't watch porn as much as I used too. I watch it with my wife so she can point out how ridiculous most of it is. Since then the all in your face stuff doesn't really have that great of appeal to me for some reason. I'm sure it has helped some. Keep it UP and good luck. HT.

[JonPop]

HotRod. Had a Porn spammer set up right in the middle of your thread. I removed his post. It was tough as, when you would click on his post it would just open to this porn site. I also banned his ass. JP