Long Distance Relationship - Early Stages - Help Needed

[Gel King]

Hello guys and guys, I'm pleased to annouce that after a few months of being single, I've been happily talking to someone overseas via email and MSN.

I would ask my own friends for advice, but I thought it make more sense to ask my online PEG people, since I'm dealing with an online relationship.

Now, in the 3 weeks that I've known her, we've had amazing converstions for hours on end and we laugh like it's going out of style. I didn't know it was possible to "hit if off" with someone by chatting online, but thats whats been happening. I literally giggle like a little school girl when I type LOL.

She is moving here in a few months, so I guess that will be the moments of truth.. real life contact lol

In the meantime, nothing is official between us.. I took the friend approach to everything. But I'm wondering if it's too soon to start saying more personal things such as "I can't wait to take you out" or "I like you more than a friend"?

I do not want to come across as desperate, or in a rush, or creapy so I'm trying to be as careful as possible with her.. but at the same time, trying to keep the momentum going. Like, sometimes I'll see her online and I won't message her, just to keep some distance and not seem overbearing.

Should I wait till she gets here before I get more personal? Is there anything different you would do in my situation? Am I crazy to think I actually like someone that I haven't met in real life? Somebodyy heelp!

[Elias]

Ufffff I feel you mate! If someone asked me if he should start a long distance relationship, I would advice him that no. Never! For me it is the best thing that ever happened to me but also the most difficult one. Damn, the nights are lonely sometimes.

What could I advice you? I know what you mean by not wanting to look like a creep and being careful with her. I know exactly how you feel! But my advice to you would be that be yourself and do what you want! Okay? Based on what you wrote, you are enjoying your time with her and she seems to be enjoying her time with you so everything is perfect! Why should you feel bad about wanting to talk to her? If you really are "hitting it off", then I think you have no reason to think that she sees you as a creep or desperate. If she feels the same way about you, she won't see you as a desperate creep. You know what I mean?

But one warning mate! I have been on the "friend zone" with too many girls so I would like to warn you that don't come off too much as a friend. You need to show her that you are interested in her in a deeper level. Because there will come a point, crossroads basically, where if you choose to continue this friend approach, you will be on the friend zone forever! I guess you just have to read the signs and decide yourself when to tell her that she is making you crazy in a good way.

By the way, my long distance better half is flying in to see me tomorrow so the timing of your thread was just perfect!

Good luck!

Elias

[Johnlocke]

I've just ended one after 7 months of being in it. I didn't read your whole post but I'd say just speak your mind before she goes out dating! Drop hints and things if you can and see if she picks up on it.

WARNING: Do NOT spend too much time together because of the distance (I spend 7 -8 hours everyday for 7 months with mine and it didn't turn out well at all) also make sure you can get the money to visit them ASAP!


:P

JL

[Gel King]

Elias, that was some darn good advice bro.. especially coming from someone who knows exactly how it is. I feel less creepy already lol and I'll continue to just be myself. Thanks for the crossroads warning, perhaps I'll just know when the time is right to say it.

oh and I'm happy for you too man! I know how excited you must be right now. I have to wait a few months.. but at least it gives me time to PE!

thanks again!

[Gel King]

I've just ended one after 7 months of being in it. I didn't read your whole post but I'd say just speak your mind before she goes out dating! Drop hints and things if you can and see if she picks up on it.

WARNING: Do NOT spend too much time together because of the distance (I spend 7 -8 hours everyday for 7 months with mine and it didn't turn out well at all) also make sure you can get the money to visit them ASAP!


:P

JL

hey JL, thanks for the tips and sorry it didn't work out for you. I guess thats the risk and challenge of going this route. I will try to sneak in a few hints every now in then.. and see how she reacts, kinda like a fun science experiment right?

[happy_accidents3]

well I've been in a long distance relationship for some time ( 2 years come april) so I will tell you one thing its very hard but very rewarding. Before you get into one I would make sure you trust that person very well and are not the jealous type. Also cherish the times you have together but don't be overbearing ex spend every second with each other when she comes. I see my gf about every 2-3 months and we have fought maybe once or twice since we have known each other. I think the benefits of a long distance relationship is you really get close to a person on a personal level because your not distracted with the physical. Many of my friends are shocked that I still like to talk to my gf everyday.

[Gel King]

Hey happy, I'm glad to hear that it's worked out for you. 2 years is a long time, especially for a long-distance relationship so I tip my hat to you sir. You're absolutely right about the benefit of getting closer on a personal level and not physical. Talking is all I can do right now, and Ive learned to really appreciate her personality with all sexual desires aside. This probably explains why your relationship is still so strong, because you and your gf are especially connected with the heart and mind.

[Batwoman]

Long distance relationships can be very, very hard.... but they can also be great, if they are with the right person. My advice is just to go slow and follow your instincts. And like JohnLocke suggested, don't make it your whole life -- make sure you still get out with your friends and family, and lead a healthy real-life existence away from the cyber world. Keep it all in balance.

[shane_syndrome]

honestly bro , the cyber world is almost fantacy and people can be completly diferant in person ... its easy to change your personalty online but not so much in person becase as your typing people tend to watch what they say more.

p.s

webcam and pictures can lie


... just my 2 cents

[Gel King]

thanks for the great points. Batwoman, youre right about the balance thing. I tend to give way to much of myself to GFs and neglect everything else.. will try not to do that this time! Shane, you got me thinking now.. i realized i have this preconceived idea of her personality in real life. I'm going to take cyber dating for now as a grain of salt and not get too high. Can't wait to meet her in real life!