Feeling inferior to the dildo.

[2009vettez51]

I'm guessing she is depressed as well. I'm sure she would love to look like she did for both of you. I'm sure you can say the wrong thing and piss her off too. She does need help somehow and she needs support and she needs to desire to commit and work hard for herself ( which will make you happy too). I think you do need to concentrate on keeping yourself up looking good in shape, clean & fit and dressed nicely and hopefully she'll come around. My own wife fell into this after having kids (3 of them) and she put on about 100lbs! She still needs to shed about 40 but she is motivated most of the time. there are times I think she was going over the edge may have but she pulled back. She started doing martial arts about 3 yrs ago and we joined a gym 3 days ago. I encourage her to eat good food as much as possible and excercise with me. My wife is still very pretty (I think so) and I make sure to let her know it regularly. I am still very attracted to her I guess because we never lost the passion? Anyway hang around ecercise for yourself and try to be as happy as you can hopefully you guys will talk and she will come around.

[2009vettez51]

I hope she isnt throwing the big dildo in there because she is depressed and she wants you to feel bad too? that would suck. I personally would never let my wife have one bigger than me because I wouldnt want her to get used to something I couldnt give her.

[mr.growmymeat]

Man that sucks.. shouldn't have let it get this bad.

[Influence]

Most women experience child bearing and get close to normal with some effort and time. You have to lead her into change. If she doesn't follow you or accept your help after multiple attempts - or weeks/months of effort - you have the right to move on and keep your honor as a good guy. You can have a clear conscious.

Your situation is complicated. But what I've taken from your post is something that will eat away at your soul. Making a decision and taking action will be one of the most difficult tests of your life... Whether you choose to leave and feel deep pain for a while - or stay and feel a some pain for the rest of your life. But be aware that some pain over time will chip away at who you are, breaking away piece by piece the happiness and life you have built for yourself.

If you really love her, try. And then if the day comes and she doesn't change, you should do what's right for you without looking back. You'll know when that day comes.

And forget that dildo. It's not the real problem (it's just a piece of fucking rubber).

Good luck

[XitemeM]

This thread ended in 2010 really, but there was a spammer (gone now) who kicked it back to life. Anyway, I think that woman should get her shit together, take some pride in her appearance and kegel that pussy back into shape as well. She sounds like she is suffering from depression, so addressing that should be the first order of business. I say that because he said she isn't doing anything around the house anymore. I'm assuming he had taken up the domestic duties, but.. I don't know. They needed either a counselor or a doctor or both. Anyway, the last that guy posted anything was January 2011, and the post before that was July 2010. I don't think we'll be getting closure...

[Influence]

Ha,

Thanks for the update. That was 7 minutes of my life.

[XitemeM]

Hey if he comes back he'll know PEGym still cares. So many thoughtful guys here..

[2009vettez51]

lol!

[hpcamper]

You are to be commended to stick to your marriage and your values. Divorce is tough on the kids and cheating does not seem to be a solution for you. Having said that, you can not hope to change her behavior if you don't change yours first. If you want different results, you can not keep doing the same thing.

Have you told her how you feel about her negligence? About your expectations? About the potential consequences if she doesn't show any willingness to change? No threats but straight and forceful talk.

You owe it to yourself to confront her in a frank manner, and you owe it to her to tell her before you reach the point of no return.