When you meet someone you feel a spark with, whether you want to fuck or fall in love. There is a rush of excitement.
Social scientists refer to this as the state of Limerance. Psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term in 1979 When She interviewed 500 people about being in love and identified a common pattern. Tennovs research was focused on the experience of love but the feelings of intense desire or lust and connection, can also produce these characters of limerance.
-Dependency of your mood on the persons actions
-Intrusive thinking about the object of desire
-Inability to react limerently towards more then one person
-Fear of rejection and shyness around the person
-Vivid imagination about the person
-Intensification about the person
-Acute sensitivity to any act, thought or condition that can be interpreted favorably and an ability to devise or invent ‘reasonable’ explanations for why neutral actions are suddenly hidden passions in the person
-An aching in the chest or stomach when uncertainty is strong
-Intensification through adversity
-Buoyancy ( a feeling of walking on air) when reciprocation is sensed
-A general intensity of feelings that leaves other concerns in the background
- A remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in the person and to avoid dwelling on the negatives or manipulate it into a positive attributes.
Research has shown that many of these feelings and behaviors come from a chemical change in the brain, levels of dopamines and norepinephrine increase in the limbic system. As well as an increase in other areas of the brain which are responsible for arousal and pleasure…When you combine the physical changes and the emotional changes .. you have “new relationship energy.” NRE
This feeling or limerance can be so strong some people become NRE junkies craving the excitement of new rather then what is familiar.
The Limerance stage is also known as the honey moon phase, the rose colored glasses stage, the sunshine’s out of their ass stage… This stage will last anywhere from 2 weeks -2 yrs… When this stage starts to subside that is usually when reality starts to set in OR a feeling of lack of passion OR a rut starts to creep into a relationship OR a pain in the ass stage starts…more arguments over little things start to happen...etc etc...This is generally the point where you find out if, it was a real love situation or a lust ‘dream’ situation… The feelings of limerance with in a relationship don't always last equally with people .. so you can find yourself in a situation where one person is still in limerance and the other person is in a rut.