Question for guys about first time sex (losing virginity)

[mistydawn]

I've got a couple questions. I know women think about the first time and have expectations. Women's first time isn't that great. I have read on here that a guys first time can be awful too. I don't know how. So, can you guys please tell me how a first time can be bad for a guy (outside of being molested as a kid)?

I would also think expectations would be met for a guy on the first time too. From what I understand, you do have expectations. What are the expectations? I would think it would only be to orgasm from being in a pussy. Better than your hand. Alas, I am a female and do not have the male mind. Please tell me about males first time expectations. Thanks.

[IAmAMusicalGenius]

When I was a kid I would masterbate and I would think "Wow one day i'm actually going to have sex for real! I can't believe it's actually going to happen!". I couldn't comprehend that kind of ecstasy. But in the end it wasn't as good as I thought.

I lost my virginity at 21. I blame shit hair, bad dress sense and a lack of confidence for it taking so long. I did pass up an opportunity at 19 though after the girl was going on and on about dick size. I ended up sleeping next to her with my trowsers still on! I'm glad I waited for someone nicer.

Well the girl Iost my virginity to was very nice. And for a couple of weeks before sex we just did other stuff, like mutual masterbation and oral which was good. She said, without prompting, that I turned her on more than she had been in a long time. And also her friend jokingly asked me to give her boyfriend some tips on how to perform oral so I think I she must have given me good reviews. This was fun as there was no pressure to perform, unlike full sex.

Unfortunately the actual first time was a bit disappointing. I was taking Seroxat which is an antidepressant, and my doctor was messing about with my dose. So it really took the thrill out of actually having sex. Instead of thinking "Oh my god I'm actually doing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!", it was more like "this is quite nice".

I remember when she was on top of me thinking, what else am I supposed to be doing. It felt like something was missing. I remember being a bit put off by how the vagina felt so hot. I didn't like the feeling of the condom. I remember thinking my dick looked gross covered in all her juices. The orgasim felt great though.

After the first few times i started having trouble with ED. Partly to blame was the medication but also my obsessive thought patterns didn't help. Because once it happened all I could think about during sex was trying not to lose my errection which of course made me lose my errection . I was gutted that my anxiety problems had ruined another aspect of my life.

I've never really had a great sexual experience yet, due to living my life as a hermit. But I do have one hell of imagination. I hope I get better before I get too old and ugly. I really want to have sex again before it's too late but I don't think it will ever happen.

[NP97]

Well, the first time as a guy you're really nervous. You want to preform and be a sexual dynamo. Although you have NO idea what you're doing. So you get nervous, sometimes have trouble keeping it hard, and don't last as long as you'd like.
My expectations (now especially) for every love making session is to take care of my lady first. She gets to cum first. If I can't get her off she's getting eaten out and getting off that way.
Basically I do it to her, for her. When I make love it's to pleasure both of us, although I like doing whatever feels best for my girl.

[Pirate]

My first time was unremarkable. Expectations? I didn't know what to expect. What I had instead of expectations was pressure.
I felt pressure to be in charge and know what I was doing but I didn't have a clue. Physically, it felt great. Emotionally, it was awful. I didn't know that I could talk to her about it before, during, or after. I felt that I was already supposed to know everything. I didn't know how to read her and she was very willing but passive. I didn't know what to say or how to behave.
In short, I felt stupid and unprepared from start until well after we finished.

[Rodger]

My first time was not awful but it was not good. This girl was trying to get me to have sex with her for a couple of months but I wouldn't do it because of religious dogma. I really cared about her but I didn't care to have sex with her. I finally did it because I thought we could have a good time together and I wanted to prove to myself that I was done with religion.

I got inside her and I didn't feel much, for 2 reasons: 1 - I was not attracted to her, and 2 - my EQ was very low due to abstinence. I was a little nervous but I didn't even cum.

My expectations were that I could give her some pleasure and get over my own psychological barriers.

[mechanicJT]

My first time was neither good nor bad. I was intoxicated and at a party in high school. I am usually pretty unsocial even at parties and just sit around and drink and don't really talk. I don't generally relate to my peers very well even now. That night I spent the entire night talking to the girl. We sat in a nice peaceful screened in porch. We had a ton in common. We got in the hot tub together and started making out. Took her to the bedroom and did our thing. I went down on her and her me then we kind of 69'd. Then we had sex. Missionary the whole time. Interestingly it was the longest I have ever lasted during sex in my whole life, well other than a time I was on cocaine. She is the only girl I have ever slept with that felt "loose". I don't think she enjoyed it much and didn't even get off from oral if I remember correctly. She asked me to stop after about an hour. We laid in bed together until the wee hours of the morning. Generally pretty enjoyable but no orgasm. I had a connection with her but didn't really care about her. I wouldn't recommend loosing your v card on a one night stand, but hey it was worth it.
Interesting side notes. It was my parents best friends bed. We spent every holiday with these people and I lost it in their bed. Also, I just found out this year that she was in a serious relationship with a friend of mine who I think is a total douche. I wasn't friends with him at the time. I got a good laugh about that.

[MrBigDick]

My first time was unremarkable. Expectations? I didn't know what to expect. What I had instead of expectations was pressure.
I felt pressure to be in charge and know what I was doing but I didn't have a clue. Physically, it felt great. Emotionally, it was awful. I didn't know that I could talk to her about it before, during, or after. I felt that I was already supposed to know everything. I didn't know how to read her and she was very willing but passive. I didn't know what to say or how to behave.
In short, I felt stupid and unprepared from start until well after we finished.

I think Pirate said this best. There is, I believe, tremendous pressure on the guy to perform like some sexually revved up porn star and with that pressure, failure of some type is inevitable. My first time was with the woman who would later become my wife and it took us a few times before that first time actually happened. Once we shook the rust off of ourselves and found our groove, it got easier and easier, the pressure subsided and we were able to do it just about anywhere. It's that pressure that we men place upon ourselves to be some sexual powerhouse in the bedroom to impress and please the woman that ultimately ends up screwing us up. The first time for a guy isn't all it's cracked up to be.

[NP97]

I get that way (but not to the same degree) anytime I'm with a new girl. First time with her is never as good as the others, but it's whatever.

[MrBigDick]

I get that way (but not to the same degree) anytime I'm with a new girl. First time with her is never as good as the others, but it's whatever.

So do I but I don't let it spoil the fun......

[mistydawn]

Hummm. So the experience being bad is mainly due to not being a sexual dynamite. And they expectations are about your performance. Yes?