Thread: jerking off stories
- 09-06-2011 #1
My woman is going in for an operation that would leave me without action for 3 months...so i am thinking while i will be on the hand the whole time...i might as well make it enjoyable...So guys...what are your jerking off stories that is worth sharing...I am a run of the mill guy...my my routine is so boring i go limp during my jerking off sessions...Please do share lol!!!
- 09-06-2011 #2
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Your Subconsciuos
One time, I was at the store when a friend called and said that he needed something for his muscles. I tell the store clerk and he gives me a tube of IcyHot. I give it to my friend and he stares at the tube and tells me he'll use it later on. Later, I'm standing outside his house talking to his brother smoking cigs when I hear a loud yelp. That dumb motherfucker used the IcyHot to beat off. He thought that the heat it gave off would feel good on his dick. Hahaha!
Me and his brother started laughing and left.
Last edited by Total_Honesty; 09-06-2011 at 05:25 AM.
- 09-06-2011 #3
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
- Wherever I choose to be.....
What kind of stories are you looking for?It's a tough job being good looking and hung :-)
- 09-06-2011 #4
Hey all you have to do is read the following threads; the pineapple one, the g-spot, and the sex toy one. You'll have more than enough to have fun with!Rum is for all the good vices!
Lord of the Wings 2014
- 09-07-2011 #5
LOL i thought i would hear funny stories about plastic bags...socks...mint lotion and stuff...????October 1, 2010: Erect Length: 5.9 inches (15cms)
October 1, 2010: Flaccid length: 4.2 inches (10.8)
February 9, 2011: Erect Lenghth: 15.8 cms
February 9, 2011: Flaccid Length: 11 cms
Goal: Erect Length: 17cms
Flaccid length: 12 cms
- 09-08-2011 #6
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
Umm, I jerked off into a T-Shirt before and passed out for a little. I woke up and the shirt was practically glued to my dick, I had to slowly peel it off... I was so scared.
- 09-08-2011 #7
- 09-09-2011 #8
I was jerking off and as I was ejaculating I went to block the cum with my hand and it shot inbetween my fingers and into my nostril as i was inhaling. Worst booger and jerk off session of my life.
Last edited by elpresidente; 09-09-2011 at 11:01 PM.
- 09-11-2011 #9
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Blog Entries
Had one where I was going at it on my back. I never knew what was going to happen when i came. was it going to be a shooter or a dry one. it was never known. the shooters are rare but they sometimes happen.
Well, while I'm there going with it, I get close, I fire off. Totally expecting it to be a small load, because I hadn't be jerking very long, i turned my head at the last minute just as a precaution. WOOSH!!! powerful White string goes whizzing by my head narrowly missing my eye. I hear it splat on my pillow that was bring propped up on the wall. Got a VERY small bit on my ear from the ricochet. I was SOOOOO happy i moved at the last minute... that would have gone in my nose and eye. LOL!
- 09-11-2011 #10
I have one about a friend. This one is true and it happen to him. He has a cat and a dog at the time. They where always on his bed when he went to sleep each night. This particular night the cat lay next to him and he decided to pull his pud. As he was stroking away the cat saw that some thing was moving and as he was at the point of no return the cat decided that he was going to jump at this moving thing with his nails out. As he scream at the pain the cat ran away and never returned to this day. A few days after i went to visit him and asked where his cat was and he told me what happened. I said to him he should of though of what would of happened it the first place. Now no animal is allowed into his bedroom.
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