Dancing!

[Jelqinator]

I wasn't sure where to stick this thread (Womens Op, Relationships, The Gym).

Basically I cannot dance to save myself. The only times I get on the dance floor are when I am either incredibly drunk or when it's with a group of friends and we are doing something inane. I don't know if I take myself too seriously (although when dancing with a girl, I think a little bit of seriousness is needed) or if I have just been born without that dancing gene.

I've often thought things like "I would rather fight that huge rugby player over there, than dance". I think it might be linked to the spontaneity of it, were I to learn the mamba I think I'd do fine.
This of course is only an issue because at almost any night out your chances with a girl come down to a dance at the end of the night, that and how well you dance is often linked to sexual prowess (Which I don't think is the case).

Any guys share my affliction? Anyone have a miracle cure?

[Rando]

I was in the exact same boat. I've always been terrified of wedding receptions b/c they revolve around dancing prowess of which I have basically none. I've always wanted to be an awesome dancer, but just have never put in the time or effort. I think it's common to not want to do things that we aren't very good at for fear of looking stupid. For some reason, this is magnified when it comes to dancing. Maybe b/c in our minds there are dozens of people on the periphery who we think are watching us.

Anyway, I started taking a dance class (it's a modern jive/salsa combo) about a month ago and am totally hooked. I don't have your hangups about dancing in general, but I am a bit worried what my friends would say if they found out. I don't care though and I think these classes will pay huge dividends down the road. Not only is it a gold mine for finding hot, available women, but it's also causing me to be more confident around women and also used to casually touching women b/c you're forced to dance with several different women in my class. Now it feels like second nature to touch them on the shoulder or hips and get close to them.

I don't really think you possess an affliction, rather just a common trait in human nature to be wary of trying new things. For some reason most guys would be totally opposed to any sort of dance lessons, but deep down inside I think most guys would kill to be the dude on the dance floor with all the crazy moves and chicks swarming all over him. I say go for it and I think once you do, you'll quickly get over any feelings of regret and be glad for your decision.

[HotRod]

When I was a boy I never understood what to do when people would be dancing. I hated people for dragging me onto the dance floor or grabbing at me and trying to get me to move with them.

I still don't get it.

[HotRod]

Anyway, I started taking a dance class (it's a modern jive/salsa combo) about a month ago and am totally hooked.

Maybe that's the key: take a class where you learn a style. The freestyle club or party stuff just doesn't make any sense to me.

I did have a friend who took swing dance lessons and he actually went out dancing with dance clubs - men and women who would meet up just to dance and trade up partners so he'd end up dancing with lots of women in a single night. Some of them would yell at him because he was a beginner. Others were more patient. I was pretty impressed that he did it. He was kind of shy about it, but stayed with it. I should probably shut up and do the same thing

[Qarzan]

I am probably the biggest proponent of dancing on this forum. I love dancing and what it has done for me. It accomplishes many things with just one activity:

- mental creativity, matching the moves to the rhythm
- physical exercise
- social skills, making friends

I would say, start by identifying what kind of music makes you want to dance. Then find out what kinds of dances are done to that style. There are solo dances like hip-hop, tap, jazz, ballet (yes, I've taken ballet classes, too), etc... and then there are partner dances like lindy (swing), tango, ballroom, et al.

If you want to meet more people, I'd suggest a partner dance, but eventually you'll want to pick up a solo dance as well. AND, don't be afraid to cross the gender lines! I know this sounds like a stretch, but women are more impressed by a guy that isn't afraid of what other people think of him.

I dance lindy hop, balboa, charleston, blues, and blues-fusion as partner dances. Solo, I dance jazz and belly dancing. Yes, belly dancing! You have no idea how many women find it intriguing. Then when I use it in my partner dancing... basically doing hip isolations when in close contact with them... they are freaking BLOWN AWAY! It's all a matter of challenging you comfort zone, and finding that confidence in something you thought you would never be comfortable doing. THAT is confidence.

In addition, I also know how to follow as well as lead. Not only does this make me a great leader; since I know what kinds of moves are uncomfortable for the follow; but it's yet another thing that intrigues women when they see me dancing with another man... and dancing WELL with him.

Anyways, there's so much I can say about dancing, but maybe it'd be best if you ask questions instead of me rambling on. Ask away!

[ryansambas]

I am one of those who would rather fight than learn to dance (either street fight but preferably boxing or MMA training), I only dance when I've been drinking. Never really liked dancing to be honest either. I wouldn't mind being a decent dancer but I wouldn't put in a lot of my time to actually accomplish that.

[Bunkerbabe]

Definately a dance class, I used to take ballroom classes and there was a big shortage of men. I started because I lacked self confidence, I loved it met lots of new people, we used to go to dance halls, have theme nights and generally have a great time. I ended up changing to salsa classes, flamingo (but it was only women there) I now do bellydancing for fun and fitness, and zumba as its just like a huge party and a great workout.

get out there shake your booty and enjoy life!!

[Jelqinator]

Guess that settles it, dance class it is.
Thanks for the help people, as straight forward as it might seem.

[Rando]

Wow Qarzan, I'd like to think of myself as a bit of carefree, don't really care what others think type, but you have some big balls my friend, allowing another man to lead as you follow. I'm not sure if I'd ever be able to do anything like that, I imagine it's incredibly attractive to women though.

[HotRod]

I am probably the biggest proponent of dancing on this forum. I love dancing and what it has done for me. It accomplishes many things with just one activity:

- mental creativity, matching the moves to the rhythm
- physical exercise
- social skills, making friends

Great post, Qarzan.

I've sometimes thought that dancing would help me push over a fear/social anxiety threshold. It makes me very uncomfortable, like I'm not even in my own body - or at least like I don't want to be in my body.

In school we had to dance in physical education class and I remember one day dancing with all the boys to avoid having to dance with a girl I had a crush on who had rejected me. It was horrible, but it was funny to see the reaction of the guys when they realized they were going to have to dance with me. Most of them just laughed because it felt so ridiculous as we went through the steps. Only one refused to dance with me. Looking back, I'm surprised the teacher didn't make some kind of adjustment and make me dance with the girls. lol