just venting I guess (I already know its dumb)

[2009vettez51]

Maybe it shouldn’t matter but it does. My wife cheated 1 time 6 months ago and one thing still bothers me. I still wonder was he bigger? Did she feel anything I never made her feel or couldn’t if I wanted to because I’m not big enough? She swears she never payed attention and has no idea if he was bigger or smaller and that’s just kind of hard to believe because she can describe 2 penises from 16yrs ago before we met in detail. Anyway she says no she didn’t feel anything with him that she has never felt with me. And she says well if I had to guess I’d say the 2 of you are the exact same size because it felt identical I really didn’t notice any difference at all. My problem here is she has had mine exclusively for 16 yrs I find it hard to believe a new one could feel identical? Again I’m not a woman so I haven’t a clue if they can really tell to the inch if there is a difference or not? I constantly worry for some damn reason that she could be lying to me to prevent hurting my feelings and if that’s the case I’d rather know the truth even if it hurts my feelings. This is the one and final thing I can’t let go of. Although I do want a bigger penis for myself part of me wants to get big enough so that she can say without a doubt that I am bigger than him.
I still get sad after all this time thinking that I possibly can’t provide a feeling she experienced with someone else (only because it was after we married) I don’t think Id believe her if she came out and said he was bigger or smaller at this point anyway so why the hell cant I get over this one thing???? I can’t keep bothering her so I just don’t say anything anymore. I guess I’ll never have the answer. It makes it hard for me to show confidence because I feel like in the back of her mind she is thinking “ if it just reached another ½” or if it were just a thick as his” While she is saying god I love you and you feel so good out loud. I really feel f**ked up over this one issue. I don’t dwell on it 24 hrs a day but when it hits me it hits hard and I get depressed for a while.

[Subro]

Please excuse my forthrightness, but I am curious why you are still with your wife after she cheated on you. It is no one's business why you made the decision to stay with her and I will not/am not going to ask for it. I am simply asking in order to provoke your thought process.

Suppose your wife told you (and was being honest) that the man she cheated on you with has a smaller penis than you? That would make you wonder why she involved herself with someone who is (physically) inferior to you in terms of your penis. Suppose it was the opposite and she told you with honesty that he was bigger than you? In either circumstance, you knowing for certain the reasons why she chose this other man will do nothing but create more questions and insecurity on your part.

Excuse me for my bluntness, and I am not judging your wife's actions, but a cheater is always a cheater. If you have been faithful to your wife then she does not deserve you or the benefits of your PE efforts.

[TheSperminator]

It would also keep me awake.. I understand your frustrations.

I've red in other threads you make her squirt and sh*t.. That has to mean something. Sex is great between you 2.

Like you said, you can't keep bothering her with that question. She'll keep saying the same thing over and over. Keep on PE'ing I guess, grow that lovestick. The only thing I'm afraid of is: will she do it again? (cheating)

[TINKERBELL]

She wasn't with him for his dick.. she was with him for the attention he gave her. So i doubt his dick size mattered to her. He was filling her emotional needs and the vagina needs were just a byproduct of the relationship that was formed and the feelings of being wanted, desired, noticed and the new passion. Which is probably what she was chasing ..not the dick that the guy had. Its often easier for men to blame their equipment because they need to put failure onto something they can physically see. So you are punishing yourself by telling yourself your dick isn't enough...it will never be enough till you stop punishing yourself.

[2009vettez51]

Im not blaming my equipment I realize that the reason had nothing to do with my penis. The issue now is what if his penis did make her feel things I cant and she is just telling me that it didnt. I know it sounds crazy but it really bothers me.

[2009vettez51]

10 bigger dicks before me wouldnt matter because she chose me, the possibility of 1 after would / does bother me.

[2009vettez51]

Im not worried about her doing it again dont think thats an issue. The other guys was 10 years younger and much better built as well as taller but that had nothing to do with it. Absolutely nothing about the situation bothers me except what I posted in the first post. She is a good girl and she was very honest about everything else. We did have and always will love each other. We have great sex and sex had nothing to do with it. The problem is I knew where I stood before and I had a different confidence in the bedroom that I cant have now because I just dont have all the answers. Maybe I will forget this last issue with time? dont know.

[longrodten]

Getting cheated on sucks. Go see a marriage counselor, the details wont help you. Since your wife has expressed remorse and shows she loves you, id do the manly thing and fuck the shit out of her until you get over your problem. Do not worry...

[XitemeM]

She wasn't with him for his dick.. she was with him for the attention he gave her. So i doubt his dick size mattered to her. He was filling her emotional needs and the vagina needs were just a byproduct of the relationship that was formed and the feelings of being wanted, desired, noticed and the new passion. Which is probably what she was chasing ..not the dick that the guy had. Its often easier for men to blame their equipment because they need to put failure onto something they can physically see. So you are punishing yourself by telling yourself your dick isn't enough...it will never be enough till you stop punishing yourself.

I agree with Tink.

How about some mental exercises.. Just say you could find out for sure, and you found out he was considerably smaller. For the sake of this exercise, she cheats on you several times again and it turns out dick size has nothing to do with it. What then? Are you okay with it because you're bigger?

Sorry to hear of your suffering. I hope you can get yourself sorted out soon.

[2009vettez51]

Well we had a long talk tonite and i guess she is telling me the truth i had to bring it up again. Anyway i hope this is it and i can move on.