- 02-12-2014 #1
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
Ok, you've probably heard this one a million times. This isn't the first time a girl has ignored my texts, but usually when they do it's obvious they've lost interest. They'll either say they're not sure if they're ready for a relationship, or simply keep you at arms length not leading you on or anything. In those scenario's, ignoring a guy's subsequent texts is borderline acceptable, though normally, if they've given a good enough indication the guy won't need to text again.
Now let me share with you the current situation. I hook up with a girl (i.e we fuck) a couple days before she leaves on holidays after she had come onto me the week before. The day after we fuck, she says she hopes I'm still single when she gets back. Anyway, girl comes back from holidays, I text her after a few days. No response. Find out from someone else who also tried to text her that she'd been having phone troubles (sim changes, etc); she told this well before anyone had inquired about my text she hadn't responded to, so it's almost certainly true.
Once I find this out, I text her again saying that I had already tried but apparently she had been having phone troubles. This time she gets back to me pretty quickly with the full explanation and we text for a little bit before I ask her whether she'd like to hook up this weekend (it's Friday). Her housemate has family up that that weekend, and they're living in the house, and I live at home, so fair enough, it's not going to work, and she's got a fucked elbow. Despite that, she says she's "definitely" interested to hook up again. She adds me on Facebook a few days later. She has an operation early that week on the elbow in question which makes the week a bit of a write-off, but I ask her to let me know when she wants to hook up. She once again indicates strong interest, and says she's free on Sunday after giving me a detailed reason for each night up until Sunday. I decide to not text her for a few days. I then text her Saturday to see if we're still on for Sunday.
Nothing. I get no response. I text Sunday asking if she's too busy or something. Nothing. It's been a number of days now since I sent my last text, and a week since she last texted me. I last texted the day we were meant to meet up. I refuse to text again out of self-respect and dignity if nothing else.
I'm assuming that for some reason she's lost interest; how I don't know, as the last time we were texting it was on very good terms. I assume she's met a new guy or has some weird fucked up girl logic going on in her head where she's over-thought what it may mean to text me. She's nearly 30 years old I should add (5 years older), so it's not like I'm dealing with a teenager here.
So I suppose I have two questions. First, how the fuck is it acceptable to show relatively strong interest in someone, make a tentative date to meet up, and then just completely ignore them. Or more so, how is it even possible that someone would either mislead someone to such a degree (knowing all along they're not interested), or literally lose interest for seemingly no reason? As an over thinker, it's fucking me up, lol.
The other question is, how common is this scenario. Do girls regularly lead on guys only to disappear off the face of the planet. She's always seemed keen. I just don't get it, and she's always been explicit with any excuse she's made, which is often validated by other people.
She has said that she's bad with texting, and has been very busy since she got back, but fuck me, a text or Facebook message takes minutes at most.
I just need to vent, lol. And not to boast, but in this relatively small town, I'm somewhat a rare bread (i.e desirable), so I can't imagine there being too many other candidates to steal her interest.
TL;DR: Girls shows strong interest, then stops text me after making tentative arrangements to meet up. It's been a number of days now since my last text (the day she was meant to be available), and a week since she last sent me anything. Question: Why, and how the fuck is leading someone on then completely ignoring them socially acceptable?
Last edited by PeachTea; 02-12-2014 at 05:17 AM.
- 02-12-2014 #2
By "hook up" do you mean meet up for sex?
- 02-12-2014 #3
Not acceptable, but a common tactic used in dating. She used you for sex now move past this lady.
- 02-12-2014 #4
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Blog Entries
could be the contents of the text
- 02-12-2014 #5
Hard to say, but I think you should give her the chance until you´re sure she is making up excuses.Starting stats:
01.08.2013: BPEL 6,3 x 4,3 MSEG
20.07.2014: BPEL 7,3 x 5,1 MSEG
Short term goal: BPEL 7,5 x 5,0
Goal: 8,0 x 5,5
Too much of the good would be extremely good.
- 02-12-2014 #6
2 things could be going on here.
The first and most likely is that she just wanted sex and now that she got it she's lost interest.
The second less likely scenario is that she's been really busy, something more important popped up, she lost her phone or had an accident or something.
If it were me, I'd just stop texting her, if she wants to hook up with you again, she will text you or let you know some other way.
Don't lose sleep other this girl dude, happens to all of us
- 02-12-2014 #7
I don't understand ignoring either... but lately I started understanding it.
When you got a lot of people around to talk with and are busy with other things of life, ignoring happens.
These days I got about with 6 girls in some way: 3 regulars, 1 just once and 2 are going to happen soon.
Long story short... I chatted and met with 'regulars', with my friends, got a lot to study, then you add the gym, PE-ing, going out, playing poker for a living etc etc... before I even realized, I happened to ignore the girl that I fucked once, for 12 days. I got back to her yada yada... we continued where we left off, everything was fine because she's been doing the same thing, and it didn't seem like that long have passed anyways.
There are another three interested girls who I haven't contacted for about half a month. I know I should but I don't have the spare time... ignoring happens and it's usually not a big deal when you realize that the time just flies when your time is filled with stuff to do.
As a fellow over-thinker, I suggest you get some things for you to do and get to know a few more girls. If you happen to ignore them, you become more so attractive.
EDIT: Also, it could be something that you said in the text or maybe she just found someone better.
Last edited by Nachos87; 02-12-2014 at 08:27 AM.Into 19th Month
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- 02-12-2014 #8
It's also possible that she wanted more than sex and gathered she wouldn't get it.“Spirituality is not to be learned by flight from the world. We must learn an inner solitude wherever or with whomsoever we may be. We must learn to penetrate things and find God there.” - Eckhart
- 02-12-2014 #9
- 02-12-2014 #10
I would give her the benefit of the doubt until you hear otherwise. Things come up unexpectedly and that can be the reason she isn't texting you back (family emergency, work deadline, sick). There could be a number of reasons so don't just assume.
It sounds like she didn't mind how the "arrangement" was, so until you hear it from her you should leave it at that.
Some women do play games, but you can usually pick up on that.
Think of it as a business relationship. There are no emotions in a business deal. Don't text her anymore and if you hear back from her, you hear back from her.
I know that it can be confusing, but that's life sometimes.
Best of luck to you.I will never apologize for being me. People should apologize for asking me to be anything else.
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