Fiction: Episode Three; The Rescue of a Queen

[JonPop]

This is the 3rd story of the series. Please read the Spammer war and The Black Knight, first. JP

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO MAKE COMMENTS IN THIS THREAD.

[JonPop]

King Arthur, again called a meeting of all the Moderator Knights from the Kingdom of BetterMan. The Knights assumed their seats at the round table and King Arthur spoke;

"My trusted Knights, I have been approached by King Richard the Lion hearted, to join him in his quest. This will be an adventure to rival the spammers war."


Two Weeks Later:

KIng Richard entered the room and all the Knights stood and gave a short bow while trying to surpress a giggle.
King Richard, in no way looked the fearsome warrior of legend. He was shorter than they would have expected and very 'foppish' looking and when he spoke it was in a high pitched voice, with a lisp.

He said......


"I have been talking with your good King Arthur, he has told me all about the spammer wars and what brave and fearless Knights you are.
It made me so excited to hear the tales of your brave deeds, that I had to meet all of you in person.
I have come before your King to ask that he and his brave Knights, join me and my Knights Templar in a quest to rid the Holy Land of the Muslims, from the Saracen leader Saladin, who now holds Jerusalem in an Iron Fist."

Sir Stud turned to Sir Sonic and whispered, "I think this fucker is gay, man." And gave a soft laugh. Sir Sonic nodded his head and said, "I think you are right brother Stud."

[JonPop]

King Arthur stood and said, "King Richard, I will discuss your request with the BetterMan Knights of the Round Table and will tell you my decision before nightfall."
King Richard swished from the room with his burly, muscular, attendants in tow.

King Arthur started to speak when Sir Stud raised his hand and said, "No disrespect to you my King, but I ain't following no queer King into battle to help him fight some Muslims.
Hell, king I heard that the Muslims are a peaceful people and read some kind of K Bible that tells them to love and respect one another.
Man, I ain't even heard of this Saladbar, what's his face and I sure as hell ain't going to Jerusalem to get my ass killed, man. I aint going to be no mercenary for that asshole. I'm going to go back to my homeland and you can send somebody after my ass when you need my services for something worthwhile."

Sir Stud turned to leave the room when Sir JonPop stood and said, "Wait Sir Stud."

"King Arthur, I agree with Sir Stud, that this crusade of King Richard's is only for his glory.
He has almost driven England into bankruptcy to finance his power quest and I will not pledge my allegiance nor trust my life to someone such as this."


The Knights stood and yelled, "OoRah."
King Arthur said, "I will inform King Richard that I and my Knights do not wish to join him in his crusade."

[JonPop]

6 Months Later:


The word spread like wild fire throughout the Kingdom of BetterMan.

Sir JonPop called a meeting of the BetterMan Knights of the round table to discuss this latest development.

When the Knights had assembled and taken their seats, Sir JonPop said, "As you have heard, our King has been wounded and is in serious condition. Our Queen Guinevere has been captured and is missing.
We have spies throughout the land trying to glean information as to her whereabouts and her captors.
This is believed to be the work of King Richard the 1st."

Sir Want8 stood and said, "Sir JonPop, Were there any surviving witnesses to the attack on the Kings party?" Sir JonPop said, "Yes, there was one soldier that survived, he had a dead soldier on top of him and escaped detection."
"Did he say who had attacked the party?" Sir JonPop replied, "Yes, he said it was the Knights Templar."
There was a mighty uproar at this news.
Sir JonPop continued, "The King is still unresponsive and unable to
tell us anything, so we need to form a plan to avenge our king and rescue our Queen."

[JonPop]

A servant entered the room, bowed low to the assembled Knights and went directly to Sir JonPop. He started to speak and Sir JonPop held up his hand for quiet.

The servant said, "There is a man here that wishes to speak to the BetterMan Knights, shall I tell him you will receive him?"
Sir JonPop said, "Did the man state his business?" The servant said, "He said that he had information on the whereabouts of Queen Guinevere and had heard that he would be rewarded for this information."
Sir JonPop said, "Please show him in."

The servant left and in just a moment, returned with a man dressed in tights and holding a longbow with a quiver of arrows strapped on his back.
He said, "I am Robin of Sherwood forest and I have news that, while unsubstantiated, I belive to be true because it came from a very reliable source.
Sir JonPop said, "Welcome to BetterMan, Robin, Would you please tell us of what you know?" Robin said, "I don't know if you have heard of me, but my taken name is Robin Hood and I support the poor people of my Provence by stealing from the rich Barons and distributing the wealth to those that are in need.
The coffers, of my band of men and myself are very low right now and I was told that information regarding the Queen would be handsomely rewarded, is this not true?"

Sir JonPop said, "If the information you bring is, as the servant said, the whereabouts of our Queen, you shall be rewarded well, Robin Hood." "Please," continued Sir JonPop, "Tell us what you know, Robin and sit with us."
Robin laid his bow on the round table, removed the quiver of arrows from his back and with a sigh, sat at the table. All eyes were focused on the man, waiting for him to speak.

[JonPop]

Robin said, "I am honored to be in your presence brave Knights of the Round Table."
"The tales of the spammer war are legend.

I am from Loxley in the Provence of Naughtingham, and my King is Richard the Lion hearted.
I owe no allegiance to this King, as he has all but raped England to finance his crusades. He has taken so much, that his subjects are starving. This is why I am now before you.
I don't know how much of this information will be new to your ears, but it is true that the Knights Templar are the ones that attacked your King's caravan, wounded your King and captured your Queen Guinevere.
Your Queen, has been taken to the Tower of London, to be held for ransom."

The room erupted into shouting and bedlam.

Sir JonPop and Sir Uberschwanz yelled for quiet, that Robin of Sherwood, might finish.

Sir JonPop said, "And what are the demands for ransom, Robin?"

Robin Hood spoke, "My best sources say that it is one million Pounds, Sterling and one million Gold coins. Furthermore, an envoy has been dispatched to the Kingdom of BetterMan to make these demands for the ransom of your Queen."
Sir JonPop said, I will reward this information with 500 gold coins, now, but if you and your men will join the BetterMan Knights in our quest to rescue our Queen, the reward will be far grater."

Robin asked, "How great will this reward be, for such a dangerous undertaking for myself and my band of men?"
Sir JonPop said, "This is with the permission of King Arthur, of course, but I will stand behind any offer I now make to you. Your reward shall be one eighth of the ransom asked."

Robin Hood, stood, looked at the Knights, and said, "I shall return to Sherwood and discuss this with my men. I will return in a fortnight with my answer." With this, he picked up his bow, replaced his arrows on his back and left the room.
As he left, a servant handed him a leather pouch containing 500 gold coins.

[JonPop]

The dawn broke to a heavy, gloomy mist. There was a heaviness to the air that suggested rain. The Knights of BetterMan were cold inside their armor and longed for the sun to come up. The prearranged meeting with Robin Hood and his band was in a clearing to the SouthWest in Sherwood forest. Without the sun to guide them, they were having a difficult time.
A shout came from among the trees and suddenly they were surrounded by many men in forest green and brown clothing, carrying bows and staffs.

"Hark, BetterMan Knights," came a cry, "please follow us."

They were led to a clearing and dismounted. Robin Hood came from a hut and raised his hand in greeting. Sir JonPop said jokingly, "Hello Robin, this damned place is hard to find." Robin said, "This is the way we like it" and laughed.

Sir JonPop said, "Is there any news from your spies?" Robin answered, "Yes, but first, how is King Arthur?"
Sir JonPop said, "He is recovering well from his wounds, but still not able to join us, although it took his daughter Princess Susan to convince him that he was still too injured to ride."

Robin said, "We have men out, all over Sherwood, as rumor has it that
King Richard's soldiers are hunting for my band and for the BetterMan Knights.
Since you wouldn't give in to the demands for ransom from the King's envoy, there has been a hefty price put upon the heads of the Knights of BetterMan, myself and my men."
"The King is very bitter that you wouldn't join him in his crusade and thinks that if he can destroy the Knights of the Round Table and with King Arthur in bed injured and with the capture of the Queen, that he would be able to overrun the Kingdom of BetterMan and seize it's coffers. His spies also informed him that I, Robin of Naughtingham and my men have joined with you in an attempt to rescue Queen Guinevere."

[JonPop]

Sir JonPop said, "Yes we have heard through our own spies that King Richard had put a price on our heads. We have also heard that the King is planning to move the Queen to Normandy. We Know that this is bait to lure us into an ambush. As you can see, we are only 4 Knights strong as the remainder were left at the castle to defend against a surprise attack. We were also very careful to leave at night and to tell no one.
Now Robin, tell me the news from your spies."

Robin said, "Please Sir JonPop, yourself and your Knights join me around the fire to have a hot cup of tea and to shake the morning chill."
They gathered around the warming fire, sitting on logs and sipping the strong English tea, waiting for Robin Hood to speak, he said......

[JonPop]

Robin spoke, "We have spies in the court of King Richard and have it on good word that indeed the King is planning to move the Queen to Normandy to a more secure prison in Cherbourg. Of course this is a trap, as everyone knows, from the Captain of the guard down to the lowliest scullery maid, the day and time of the move. But I believe that this is a trap within a trap."

Sir JonPop said, "Please explain your meaning of a trap within a trap Robin Hood."

Robin explained, "Of course the King knows, that we will assume that this is a trap, when we try to rescue the Queen while on the road. He figures we will commit a small force to make the actual rescue, while a larger force is waiting to thwart his trap. He intends to let us defeat his small contingency of soldiers guarding the chariot and wagons. He will then, move in with a much larger force to draw in our own force. He will then attack with a huge reserve army of soldiers."
"He has planned that we will hold our own BetterMan Knights in reserve and he will hold his Knights Templar until the BetterMan Knights are engaged."

At this, Sir Loki spoke up and said, "Is this a guess on your part Sir Robin? How do we know that this is actually what the King is planning?"

Robin Hood said, "Yes, while we do have many spies, we cannot gain all the information. We must go on the assumption that King Richard and his advisors are aware of our spies and will feed them misinformation. So we must plan on waiting on the rescue until the convoy is almost to the waiting ship. There is much open ground between the City of London and the route they will take to the ship.
But, there is also a very large forest they will have to enter on their route. This open ground will expose any large movement of their troops.
Sir Sonic said, "And this is where the real battle will take place? In this forested area?" "No", replied Robin, "I have worked out a plan to thwart the King's trap. I propose that we have an actual running battle all along the road with my men picking off soldiers while in concealment. We will probably lose many men, but with our longbows, will take a heavy toll on the enemy. Naturally they will send many men after our snipers, but these men will become easy targets. As we dwindle down their forces, they will either have to make a stand on the road or make a run for the forest. This will give us the advantage to win the battle. This is where the army of the Kingdom of BetterMan and the Knights will be waiting."

Sir JonPop said, "Why don't they just leave from a port in London as opposed to the port of Southampton as my spies have said?"
Robin said, "Because King Richard wants to engage and defeat the BetterMan Knights and my followers. He knows that King Arthur doesn't have a way to cross the English Channel and must try a rescue on English soil."

[JonPop]

Sir JonPop was about to speak, when an arrow went 'thunk' and stuck in the log he was sitting on. He jumped up and drew his sword as did all of the Knights. They hurriedly formed a circle with their backs to one another.

Robin Hood smiled and said, "Relax Sir Knights, you are not under attack...Yet." "That was a signal from one of my men, he put it it the log so we would be sure to not miss it and he did not miss what he was aiming for.
Please Sir Knights, mount and move yourselves into the forest in that direction, in
case we are being flanked. That arrow means that men are close and are seeking us out."

Off in the distance, Sir JonPop judged, about a half Kilometer, they could hear yelling and shouting. Robin Hood entered his hut and came out with his longbow and three quivers of arrows. He said, "Hide in waiting, we will drive the enemy to this clearing." and ran off into the woods.

The Knights mounted, and moved into the trees in the direction that Robin had indicated. Sir JonPop sent Sir Loki, Sir Sikdogg and Sir Sonic Celt, to watch his back and right and left flank. He could see the clearing through a small opening in the trees.
The shouting was coming closer and suddenly, soldiers broke from the trees and stood looking around in the clearing. They were greeted with arrows from the trees above. Enemy archers were trying to find targets but the men in the trees blended in so well, with their clothing, that by the time a man was spotted, the archer usually had an arrow in his chest.

True to what Robin had thought, there were mounted men to the BetterMan Knights left, moving toward the clearing.
Sir Sonic guided his horse from behind a tree and said, "Are you lost brother?" The man, dressed in helmet and chain mail was startled, He said, "You are Sir Sonic Celt, I recognize you from the jousting games, you must surrender or you will be killed." Sir Sonic said, "And...Who will kill me, You?" And lowered his visor and charged the mounted man.
A broadsword will not cut through chain mail, but the heavy sword will break ribs and arms from the force of the blow. The man lowered his visor, raised his own sword and raised his shield. Sir Sonic went by as fast as he could ride in the trees, deflected the man's shield and delivered a blow with the flat of his sword to the man's rib cage.
The man went, "Ooof," and slid from his horse. Sir Sonic dismounted and walked to the man that was writhing with pain from broken ribs and internal damage and said, "I could easily kill you, but tell me why you are here.
The man, obviously in great pain said, "We are mercenaries hired by King Richard to trap and kill the four BetterMan Knights that our spies said would be at the encampment, of Robin of Sherwood." The man struggled to his feet, grasping his side and said, "I have nothing against the Knights of the BetterMan Kingdom, I have great respect and admiration for you and the spammer war is legend, but King Richard, has raped the country and taxed my farm until I lost it, I needed the money to support my wife and five children." Sir Sonic, pondered this and said,
"I don't believe a word of this," and ran his sword through the mans neck. As the man died, Sir Sonic, pulled away the chain mail to reveal a heavy gold necklace. Furthermore, the man's hands were soft and callous free, not the hands of a farmer. This man had not struggled and all he had said, was a ploy.

He mounted and went in search of another opponent.