Thought For Today

[remek]

Originally Posted by JonPop

Um...Rem. Is your day job an Army recruiter? Hee

No, I haven't resorted to that just yet

Today's thought:
Do what you do well, and do it one step better. Do what you do poorly, and look onto how to improve it.

[kingpole]

I tried to think the other day and could not. Hehehehe!

[Iguana]

My philosophy:

I'd rather have one and not need it than to need one and not have it...

[0h2B9]

"A Person that is good at excuses, is seldom good for anything else"

I always remember this when I come up agains lifes little problems. might be worth a thought for all those people here who are using excuses for not reaching there goals.

just remember if one man has achieved something there is no reason that another man cant, if he has two arms, legs and a good forum with sound advice to back him up.

[remek]

Originally Posted by 0h2B9

"A Person that is good at excuses, is seldom good for anything else" . . .

just remember if one man has achieved something there is no reason that another man cant, if he has two arms, legs and a good forum with sound advice to back him up.

I like that motto.

[JonPop]

Only in America ..do drugstores make the sick walk all
> the way to the back of the store to get their
> prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
> at the front.
>
>
> Only in America ..do people order
> Double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
>
> Only in America ..do banks leave both doors open and
> then chain the pens to the counters.
>
>
> Only in America ..do we leave cars
> Worth thousands of dollars in the
> Driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
>
>
>
>
> Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten
> and buns in packages of eight.
>
>
>
>
> Only in America ..do we use the word 'politics' to
> describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning
> 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
>
>
>
>
> Only in America ..do they have drive-up ATM machines
> with Braille lettering.
>
>
>
>
> EVER WONDER ...
>
>
>
>
> Why the sun lightens our hair,
> But darkens our skin ?
>
>
>
>
> Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth
> closed?
>
>
>
>
> Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins
> Lottery'?
>
>
>
> Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
>
>
>
>
> Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
>
>
>
>
> Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
> dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
>
>
>
>
> Why is the man who invests all your money called a
> broker?
>
>
>
> Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called
> rush hour?
>
>
>
>
> Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
>
>
>
>
> Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
>
>
>
>
> Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal
> injections?
>
>
>
>
> You know that indestructible black box that is used on
> airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of
> that stuff?!
>
>
>
>
> Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
>
>
>
> Why are they called apartments when
> They are all stuck together?
>
>
>
>
> If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the
> opposite of progress?
>
>
>
>
> If flying is so safe,
> Why do they call the airport the terminal?
>

[JonPop]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES



1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.



2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.



3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.



4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.



5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.



6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.



7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.



DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

[JonPop]

I went into the gas station today and
asked for five dollars worth of gas.....


The clerk farted and gave me a receipt...

[JonPop]

ADULT: a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
HANKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: a bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines!