A New Toy Issue For Me

[hooksvsbird]

Ladies as I have posted in other threads I have had to bring toys into my new relationship because of ED. The whole toy thing has been a HUGE issue for me the last 2 weeks. Multiple things have bothered me as I am anti toy.

My latest issue that came up last night is that I found out that the vibe my GF was using during sex was used in other relationships. I didn't like the idea that she had received pleasure from/with others with it.

She said I was being ridiculous as she cleans them after every use and that it is her personal vibrator that she uses alone and with others. I guess it would be like a guys favorite putter.

I told her that it is a bit too intimate and her view is that toys are not intimate they are inanimate. She asked why should she buy new toys for new relationships unless it was something she bought specifically for another guy? She bought a strapon for me to use on her and used this as an example.

By the way I am definitely not liking the strapon idea. I told her to put it away 2 weeks ago after she showed it to me but I will probably have to cave on that soon.

Ladies am I being unreasonable about her recycling toys?

[someone_like_u]

Yes. I agree with your girl.

[hooksvsbird]

Really? So is that common with girls to recycle? Would you say its not close to me putting a picture of an ex on the headboard to look at during sex? Seems like there would be memories attached plus really its been on other guys. Even if its been cleaned its been on them.

[2009vettez51]

I can see both points of view, if you dont like it I guess you can buy her new ones? The strap on would probrably bother me as well but id do it if I needed to. Are you doing anything to address your ED to get back to a fulfilling sexual experience for the 2 of you? Do you still manage penetration and orgasm and is she patient and understanding of your situation?

[CUSP82]

Is it really worth getting into a big fight over this? Listen to SLU or go buy her a Hitachi magic wand and she'll throw all her old toys out when she gets it. Hell the thing is so good she may even throw you ut as well!

[Gspot]

Haha, and if she calls you Hitachi or magic wand during an orgasm, that might be a problem!

I can see your issue with toys. Men have a jealous trait regarding pleasuring the woman we are with--similar to the size issue and insecurity. I am more curious about the woman's view on this as women do keep things from past realtionships, cloths, jewelry, otherwise they would have much--haha. Sometimes these are just things while other times they are attached to strong memories with other lovers they have had. I am not suggesting you do this, but I wonder what effect it would have on her if you asked her to replace the toy/s with an identical new one?? Maybe asking that would make you look like an idiot so probably a bad idea. Still, I am curious. Maybe there has been a study?

[hooksvsbird]

I can see both points of view, if you dont like it I guess you can buy her new ones? The strap on would probrably bother me as well but id do it if I needed to. Are you doing anything to address your ED to get back to a fulfilling sexual experience for the 2 of you? Do you still manage penetration and orgasm and is she patient and understanding of your needs?

Yes we have sex. MY EQ falls somewhere between 50 and 75%. So I can penetrate and have an orgasm. I can do that more than once a night I just can't get a full blown erection. I do give her orgasms long before sex. She just wants both foreplay and penetrative orgasms and I am not hard enough for her to get much pleasure. Yes she seems ok with it so far. She likes that I am doing everything I can to fix the problem and not just shutting sex down like lots of guys do.

[hooksvsbird]

Haha, and if she calls you Hitachi or magic wand during an orgasm, that might be a problem!

I can see your issue with toys. Men have a jealous trait regarding pleasuring the woman we are with--similar to the size issue and insecurity. I am more curious about the woman's view on this as women do keep things from past realtionships, cloths, jewelry, otherwise they would have much--haha. Sometimes these are just things while other times they are attached to strong memories with other lovers they have had. I am not suggesting you do this, but I wonder what effect it would have on her if you asked her to replace the toy/s with an identical new one?? Maybe asking that would make you look like an idiot so probably a bad idea. Still, I am curious. Maybe there has been a study?

She did say if you want to buy me a new one just like this fine. So I am either doing that or at least replacing the attachment.

@cusp she is anti hitachi magic wand.

[somebodyelse]

i'd be a little weirded out by the strap-on thing, but the vibrator thing... ehhh... I say that's not even really a big issue.

I know a lot of women would be grossed out if a guy brought a toy forward from one relationship to the next, but a lot aren't. It could be adouble standard, but then again, it wouldn't be if she is fine with "used toys" It's all in what she wants/likes. To be honest, it's a losing battle fighting over putting the vibrator away. If you want you can buy her some more toys, as was suggested. I would invest in nicer, more upscale stuff if you want that old Vibrator to go away.

[hooksvsbird]

i'd be a little weirded out by the strap-on thing, but the vibrator thing... ehhh... I say that's not even really a big issue.

I know a lot of women would be grossed out if a guy brought a toy forward from one relationship to the next, but a lot aren't. It could be adouble standard, but then again, it wouldn't be if she is fine with "used toys" It's all in what she wants/likes. To be honest, it's a losing battle fighting over putting the vibrator away. If you want you can buy her some more toys, as was suggested. I would invest in nicer, more upscale stuff if you want that old Vibrator to go away.

If I get Eq back to 100% all the toys are going away. At least while I am there and in the bed with her. I am trying to find the thing but I don't have a model number.