Cold-hearted women

[The Next Big Thing Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Next Big Thing]

Alright, so as this is my favorite forum section I have to add another thread about a topic which interests me. And thats - how to melt a cold-hearted woman? Usually when I smile , the woman smiles also or when she feels Im in a good mood she gets a good mood too. I speak in general right now. But sometimes, I meet women who are really cold-hearted. And usually they are very pretty. They just absolutely dont smile, they are like all business, all serious. When I smile they are just stone-faced. I really hate it. Honestly, I could care less, but its somewhat of a challenge for me, to make woman like this at least smile.
Im not sure though, if all of those women who I met and behaved like this, were cocky or just had a bad day or its just their personality...
...if cocky is the case - woman like that doesnt bother me.
...if its a bad day - Id like to make it a good day.
...if its her personality - Id like to make her smile.

Maybe you ask why I care so much, honestly, its because its really draining my confidence when there is a woman I like and I expect she will at least smile at me but she is completely cold.

So what advice would you give me?

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

I wouldn't generalize with the "cold hearted" thing, physical attraction is subjective and perceptional.

Maybe she's seeing somebody, not interested, has something on her mind.

There are social requirements and sometimes restraints on some people.

Some attractive people are usually thought of as uptight/arrogant/distant/etc, while they are simply shy, they may not even realize they are attractive and mistake attention for negative notions, like when a guy can't ever believe his partner likes him or his penis, for instance.


If there is chemistry going on, or you are very interested in someone in particular, then a more direct approach may help, like trying a bit more for a conversation and all, otherwise, I don't think it is as big a problem as you think.

[bigborer Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigborer]

She's "cold" because you're the 100000th guy hitting on her that day, and probably also not meeting her criteria (whatever that would be).
And while with their friends, no matter how high the level of interest, some will do anything they can to preserve the front of "cool/unimpressed/could eat this guy for breakfast".

[The Next Big Thing Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Next Big Thing]

Thanks for answers guys. You know, it interests me because I dont know how my attitude should be.
I used to be really stoic, and I still am sometimes when I need to, but I also discovered another part of myself and thats a part of me who smiles a lot, is in good mood and interacts with people well. No, I am not schizophrenic ...

When I used to be serious most of the time, when I saw some girl who was interested in me, looking at me etc, I really didnt care that much, I was just behaving like I didnt care but I did...but I barely smiled and well, probably maybe some people would perceive me as cocky at that time. I found out that attitude like this is bad for socializing with people whcih I like to do , so I improved another part of me, as I said.
But when Im happy and smiling and talking to a girl/woman which is "cold" I sometimes feel dumb a little bit, I feel like I should go back to my stoic mode, and act like I dont care, like her.

[Brandon85 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Brandon85]

Beautiful women get flirted and hit on all the time. They're sick of it. I'm sick of it.

My wife is extraordinarily beautiful. I mean drop dead gorgeous. Guys staring at her while driving getting into accident stunning. Guys hit on her even when I am right next to her. One only has so much energy to tell a guy to fuck off or she is with me. She gets stopped everywhere we go because everyone thinks she is in some movie or what not. It gets really boring hearing compliment after compliment praising how beautiful she is. I know it is the person's first time saying to her. But it is our millionth time hearing it. I am tired of women telling me how lucky I am and guys mind fucking her with me beside her.

Very few women are 'cold hearted'. Most women, I think, are cautious with being flirty with every guy that smiles at her.

My wife gets hit on so much, that she has become a 'cold hearted' bitch to men. Why? Because of the shit she tells me when I am not with him. Men come up to her and say 'hey, nice tits'. Or 'wow, you have nice lips that would look better wrapped around my cock'. She used to tell them that she is married. The guys responses are usually 'happily?'. Now, she wears sunglasses all the time, indoors and out, to put a social barrier to the harassment.

Trust me. Pick up lines don't work on smoking hot women. Even money is bullshit to them.

What gets a real woman's attention, especially incredibly attractive ones, is sincere confidence.

Why the hell would they want you to bone them when they can have any guy they choose to have? So, they will pick one who is truly all that and more.

Want to meet REAL women?

Stop being a douche. Stop with the 80's pick up lines. Stop with trying to make every girl smile and laugh.

You being yourself will attract a girl that suits you naturally. If she happens to be over the top smoking hot. Then consider that a bonus. I am not with my girl because she is better looking than a combination of Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. I am with her because she makes me laugh. She makes me feel like a man. And she takes really really good care of me.

What attracted me to her? I was myself with her. I made her laugh with my jokes. Not some learned or made up story. I genuinely cared about her thoughts. And I made her feel like she was the only woman in the world for me. Which is true. I didn't hit on every woman I saw. No matter how good looking she was. I could care less. I knew that when I met the right woman for me. Things would happen naturally.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

I think there's a bit too much "could be" for a direct answer. It might be one of the reasons above, or a combination. It could just be for the same reason you were stoic TNBT.

While I do believe the don't be fake advice above, I don't believe that wanting to cheer people up is fake. If that's something you have discovered and like about yourself, then do it. That is being you. Just don't expect everyone to react the same if you do.

There's nothing wrong with increasing your attraction to the opposite sex. Making yourself noticeable, and standing out in a crowd. Just do it in ways that are positive changes to your person, not an act that belies your true self.

If that works to break the ice with a woman of interest, any woman, then great! But if not, then just chalk it up as not one for you, and move on.

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

So what advice would you give me?

Stop being so insecure. Not every woman out there has to smile back or like you. In fact you should be happy that these women don't even want to talk to you. It frees you up for the women that are responsive and who want to talk to you.

And if all you're doing is smiling at women..... You need another approach! If all you're doing is smiling like a lunatic and worrying about how you should act or behave to elicit a response, you're not interested in these "cold-hearted" women as individual people. It's just you mentally masturbating over ways to make these women smile back at you.

Maybe this is too simple but if you want to figure out what is on a woman's mind..... Go talk to her! You might be surprised to find no one has asked her about herself in a long time, and talking to her about what's going on with her may be just the thing that gets you a first date.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Hey TNBT,

I think it is great that you have chosen to be less stoic and to smile more because it does indeed make one feel more happy and positive. I also don't think it is an insecurity that has you asking these questions but a genuine interest in understanding women and there is nothing wrong with that either.

As others have already mentioned, there are various reasons why a women may not return your smile. Whatever the case, it is best not to approach at that time and simply leave her be. It is best not to consider it a challenge to overcome but to accept it for what it is, a non-verbal indication that she is disinterested, preoccupied or cautious at this time. It may have nothing to do with you personally so don't take it as such; simply take your smile and move on.

[The Next Big Thing Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Next Big Thing]

Thanks for the answers!

I know some women who are good looking are used to men approaching them etc...thats one of the reasons why I sometimes hesitate to approach a girl/woman and what caused me to lose a chance to get to know a girl/woman , multiple times. But that, what you said Brandon85, is exactly why Im asking about eye contact, about how to talk to woman about getting number and things like that...its not that Im not confident to do it, its just that I dont want to look like a 1001th dummy walking to her , trying to get to know her .. I try to be myself at all times, but I really dont know what to do, so the woman doesnt perceive me as "another" guy ... should I act like Im not interested? (actually some say that works) or should I flirt with her and therefore show interest ? (some say that doesnt work, including you Brandon85... Im kinda confused now.

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

Here's a book which will explain everything.

Library Genesis Project : View Resource

Click on "Get!" and download the PDF

[The Next Big Thing Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Next Big Thing]

Here's a book which will explain everything.

Library Genesis Project : View Resource

Click on "Get!" and download the PDF

Thanks a lot, I appreciate it. Im gonna read it in ym free time and let you know what I learned.

[Obsidian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Obsidian]

What gets a real woman's attention, especially incredibly attractive ones, is sincere confidence.

I agree with this on so many lvls, as you already said works marvels on incredibly attractive girls. I'm not really the most attractive guy out there but i remember when i used to date being confident and having a smooth confident relatively cold approach and conversations that kind of girls were hooked immediately.

As other guys stated there is no box in which you can put any woman but most of the time this is the approach.

Also on a side note I really don't generally like that personality but if the girl is hot and want's to ''get a drink at my place'' I didn't mind. Also I knew to approach in the same way these kind of girls were behaving, I kinda started to mimic them like some child and be the same way as they are but ironically in a few minutes of shit like that I used to get a smile, not a big one but it was a smile.

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

....I kinda started to mimic them like some child and be the same way as they are but ironically in a few minutes of shit like that I used to get a smile, not a big one but it was a smile.

That's called mirroring. People do it subconsciously or consciously to make others around them more comfortable and to be accepted by others, because you're acting somewhat like them. You can use it to attract some women, but the majority will see through it if you're not genuine.

So say for instance you're talking to a woman at a bar or a club and she takes a drink from her cup. If you feel comfortable around her and have enough rapport her you're going to do it too without thinking about it. That's mirroring.

[Obsidian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Obsidian]

I was mainly talking about mimicking the personality and the way she is holding up, but generally what you said about mirroring yes that is true if you are not genuine or not a good ''actor'' you will be read through and not accomplish anything but laugh

[thenewdude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close thenewdude]

It's just like anything else, you can say hello to someone day on out but never get a hello back in return. It doesn't have anything to do with just one's personality or overall mind-set. It don't half the time have to do anything with chemistry. Just a fact of life. It she won't smile, pray she have a blessed day anyway.