What does she mean exactly?

[kelthuzad1986 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kelthuzad1986]

So ladies, I have a question for you that hopefully you are able to actually answer.

I'm currently in a fwb relationship with someone. It started out fwb, when she asked where I saw us going, I told her honestly I didn't see us as long term for xyz reasons. She broke things off. About a week went by before she texted saying she wanted to started having sex with me again and that's where things currently are.

So here's my question; why did she come back? She had told me she needed to think of herself as worth something, as someone who is more than just a sex toy. Now she's back for sex. What is she thinking? She said she doesn't care much about sex but is more interested in the reactions and pleasure of her partner. I'm not really sure what I'm trying to ask or even how to ask it. If she doesn't care much for sex and if she wanted to think of herself as more than just a sex toy then why did she come back? Did she miss it that much? Some insight would be appreciated.

P.S. She keeps saying it probably won't last long. I hope she's wrong.

[chemicalagent420 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close chemicalagent420]

Women will have to answer this one but there are a variety of reasons. Most people not just women talk backwards to avoid putting emotions on the line. Even my wife says. Do you want to take the kids the park? When she means take the kids to the park!

What likely happened is she is really into you and wants more, but she wants to know how you feel so she knows how much of her emotion to expose. I firmly believe you should have said. "I am uncomfortable answering that question and it is highly personal. Why dont uou just continue to get to know me?"

One reason why is if you finally fall her it is going to be a stain on your relationship. Never comment like this so soon. Instead of being herself she is going to adjust her behavior pattern because she is waiting for the short term to run out. She now believes it is just a matter of time. That is no way to have a relationship even a casual one.

Pick up artists subscribe to the rule of 10. In other words a woman who is interested romantically for something more than sex will have sex roughly 10 times before she begins to feel you are truly rejecting her by not furthering the relationship. I think the idea itself is bullshit, but it does have some truth as she will move on if she is looking for more than sex.

[chemicalagent420 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close chemicalagent420]

Basically in short because of your answer I believe she will be more guarded which kind of sucks if you enjoy interacting with her. When a woman poses a question like she did it is acceptable to say I am still forming my opinion I dont know what to think. Also as a general practice I advise you to take longer to form opinions anyway that way it isnt deception or lie.

[drfrankencock Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close drfrankencock]

Also as a general practice I advise you to take longer to form opinions anyway that way it isnt deception or lie.

That is really good advice!

[bizkid Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bizkid]

Im not a woman but when you said "I told her honestly I didn't see us as long term for xyz reasons" most women will break it off. First why did she ask the question if she didn't care and just enjoyed the physical aspect? Second I would never say such a thing Id rather be more vague. "I don't know we'll see" "We'll see with time were things go naturally". So Im not surprised she broke it right off, perhaps it was the not wanting to be the "slut".

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

If you just want sex you don't get her and her mind thoughts and real conversation. Hopefully just was just hitting her reset button and placed your dick in a box.

Just don't tease her out if the box. Keep it what it is. The fact you are asking means your chase mode kicked in. Don't. That's mean. Keep it sex and nothing else. You didn't want more before

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

A woman contacts you for nothing more than sex and you have questions? DAH

[GoingForGold Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GoingForGold]

P.S. She keeps saying it probably won't last long. I hope she's wrong.

Sounds like you want a long-term relationship and told her you didn't. I thought women were the masters of sending mixed signals, but it looks like you've got it down. Long-term doesn't have to mean marriage and children, it just means more than just sex.

She wants sex. Humans typically do. She also wants to maintain her dignity and self-worth, like she told you. Why do you think she came back? It is for the sex, unless you open up more possibilities to her. Only she knows how much she is hoping for the "more possibilities" part.

It also sounds like you want people online to tell you you are good at sex. Did she miss it that much? You're good at sex! Congrats! Didn't you just lose your virginity a month back or so?

And finally... Why don't you ask her!? Communication breaks down confusion unless you suck at it.

[WIItard Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close WIItard]

Short answer, she going to "fix" you. Women like fixer upper projects.

Or she likes banging you but doesn't want to tell you that, kind of a whose in charge thing.

[chemicalagent420 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close chemicalagent420]

The comments are spot on. Once she asked you those questions you really had the opportunity to explore her motivations at why she asked the question in the first place. You could have challenged the entire equation. This may be a question she asks of every guy she sleeps with a few times. I think you missed the time to really figure out more about her. The real her might be someone totally different than the girl you have imagined.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

If she buys the condoms for you be afraid.....and hold them up to the light.

[downthere Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close downthere]

Edit:

Go with what Qandisa said below

[Qandisa Senior Member Member of the Month March 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Qandisa]

If she buys the condoms for you be afraid.....and hold them up to the light.

If I recall correctly from the original postings they weren't using condoms because she's pretty much infertile and he had been a virgin.


Now if I have this right, she wasn't quite the OP's type because she was heavier than he'd ordinarily be attracted to but she was still kinda cute and was willing and up for a FWB situation so... off they went. At some point that turned into more of an actual relationship although he didn't really feel like she was someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and told her that, at which point she said so long. And now she's back and is suggesting the FWB thing again.

A few possibilities, most of which have been suggested already:
- She's under the illusion that if you just spent more time with her and got to know her better than you'd realize that she's really the one for you and you'll live your lives happily ever after together;
- She wants you to get more interested in her so the she can then dump you just for revenge;
- She enjoyed having sex with you and enjoyed your company and figures that spending time with you even under restricted circumstances is better than not spending time with you at all;
- She enjoys the sexual experience and doesn't get many takers because she is heavier and figures that having sex with someone who isn't totally into her is better than not having sex at all.

I know you said she mentioned not really being into sex itself (sorry I'm in a bit of a rush and don't have time to go back for the correct wording) but to me what I got from that is that she gets off more on bringing pleasure to her partners than on actual sex. Some people are like that.

[Padawan787 Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Padawan787]

Wear protection and enjoy the sex, no need to over analyse it.

She came back because she either thinks:

A) The sex was good
B) Spending more time with you will make you think of her as something more than a fwb.

Stay distant and enjoy the sex.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Yes padawan Yes. No more will I teach you today.