100 Penis Nicknames

penis cupcakesIt’s Valentine’s Day, and love is in the air! So, we thought it would be a little fun to list our Top 100 penis nicknames.Why we name this particular body part has yet to be fully explained. I, personally, think it’s because it’s our favorite! It’s also a lot of fun!

Do you have a nickname for your penis? If so, leave it in the Comments section below! I’d love to hear it!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Also, be sure to take our quiz:
How Much Do You Know About the Penis?

Our Favorite 100 Penis Nicknames

  1. Action Jackson
  2. Alabama Black Snake
  3. Albino Asparagus
  4. Atomic Turtle
  5. Baloney Pony
  6. Bat and Balls
  7. Bed Snake
  8. Beef Bayonet
  9. The Big Dipper
  10. Big Jake the One-Eyed Snake
  11. The Blue-Veined Aristocrat
  12. Bushwhacker
  13. Buster Hymen
  14. Captain Winky
  15. Cave Hunter
  16. Custard Launcher
  17. Chicksicle
  18. Chief of Staff
  19. Clam Digger
  20. Clam Hammer
  21. Cock-a-saurus Rex
  22. Cocktapus
  23. Count Schlongula
  24. Crotch Cannon
  25. Cupid’s Arrow
  26. Dangling participle
  27. The Dicktator
  28. Disco Stick
  29. Dr. Feelgood
  30. Earthworm Jim

  31. Easy Rider
  32. El Presidente
  33. Elmer the Glue Shooter
  34. Energizer Bunny
  35. Everlasting Gob Dropper
  36. Excalibur
  37. Fat Albert
  38. Flesh Flute
  39. Frank n’ Beans
  40. Fuck Puppet
  41. George… I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him.
  42. Georgia Kingsnake
  43. The Giving Tree
  44. Grabthar’s hammer
  45. Hairy Houdini
  46. Hanging Chad
  47. Happy Harry Hard-on
  48. He Who Must be Obeyed
  49. Heat Seeking Moisture Missile
  50. Herman von Longschlongenstein
  51. Ivan the Terrible
  52. Jimmy Wriggler
  53. Just-in Beaver
  54. Kaptain Kielbasa
  55. King Dingaling
  56. King Dong
  57. Knobgoblin
  58. Lance of Love
  59. Lap Lizard
  60. Lap Rocket
  61. Lewinski Lunch
  62. Lincoln Log
  63. Little Elvis
  64. Long Dong Silver
  65. Longrod Von Hugedong
  66. Lord Hardwick
  67. Love Shaft
  68. Moby Dick
  69. Mr. Happy
  70. Muff Marauder
  71. One-eyed trouser trout
  72. Otis Deepthroatis
  73. Pleasure Pump
  74. Prince Everhard of the Netherlands
  75. Puff the One-Eyed Dragon
  76. Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love
  77. Python of Love
  78. Richard and the Twins
  79. Rumpleforeskin
  80. Russel the One-Eyed Muscle
  81. Sergeant Stiffy
  82. Sex Pistol
  83. Spanky
  84. Sperminator
  85. Spitting Cobra
  86. Tan Banana
  87. Telescope Of Love
  88. Thrill Drill
  89. Tonsil Tickler
  90. Trouser Snake
  91. Twig and Berries
  92. Uncle Reamus
  93. Vaginal Depth Detector
  94. Veinous Maximus
  95. Vlad the Impaler
  96. Wally the one-eyed wonder wiener
  97. Weapon of Ass Destruction
  98. Wee Willy Winkie
  99. Womb broom
  100. Zipper ripper

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