Big Al, of MaleEnhancementCoach.com, answers a question about the dating scene, ejaculation control and a lube recommendation in this Ask the Experts article.
Q. I haven’t really been hitting up women in real life, just online…
…so now that I think about it it’s a no brainer that I haven’t had success. Online dating sucks for men and it’s usually just an ego boost for women, correct me if I’m wrong. Sorry if this isn’t relevant to PE, but I just thought I’d let you know a little bit about what’s going on in my head, and how it ties into my training.
Big Al: The current modern scene overall appears to favor women- but it’s because most men have forgotten or downplay their own power. That power gets taken away when you believe yourself to be “inferior”. Once you can fortify yourself to step thinking in ways which contribute to performance anxiety, the equation changes. The confidence you exude when you master certain aspects of yourself will change the way most women see you. By adding structure and fostering confidence, your training can be a stepping stone towards that.
Q. I am much better control on my ejaculation than the past, but…
…far from absolute control. I want to continue improving in that area. Can you describe the entire mechanism of ejaculation?
Big Al: I really like the description of the process of ejaculation at
What should be noted is that anxiety can play a part in inducing premature ejaculation as well. There’s a spectrum of sorts with anxiety- a very slight amount (like the type one might experience in a COMFORTABLE first sexual encounter with a new partner) can actually add excitement to the event. Add a bit more anxiety and it can trigger premature ejaculation. Add more, and one would start losing their erections. In a full blown panic, one likely wouldn’t even become erect.
Q. Can you recommend a good lube?…
…Normally I dry jelq.
Big Al: For light/moderate requirements, a cream based lube like cocoa butter cream will work. For heavy use, Vaseline works. You can cut the Vaseline with some cream to thin it out. It’s messy, but it works.
Editor’s Note: We also have a great article on more lube recommendations here —