Let me start off by explaining the primary reason I love my job here at PEGym…
I know we truly help improve people’s lives!
The saddest part of my job though is hearing how many hurtful incidents lead men to our community – both accidentally and on purpose.
Hurtful words. Cruel jokes. Snarky social media comments. Laughter. Ridicule. I’ve heard so many variations of this same story, from members, and each time it breaks my heart. However, what hurts more is the effects of this cruelty.
Obviously, these experiences negatively impact a man’s self-confidence in the bedroom. It also leads to reduced self-confidence in other areas of his life, including other personal relationships and his professional life. It can also lead to withdrawal from social interactions, in general, and even a loathing of women. Yet, as painful as some of these negative interactions have been. to pull away from interacting socially with others, for fear of being hurt again, will only result in making matters worse.
As Dangler wisely noted in a post recently,
Going through life, not taking the risk of having your feelings hurt,
will leave you standing on the corner of Loneliness & Dull.
You have to go out, be involved with people, situations, relationships, and not be afraid or scared, of discovering some of the negative aspects of being alive in the world.
After all is said and done, in the long run of life, the goods will outnumber the bads.
You got to go out there and participate; play and have fun in life.
Not only are there negative social impacts of this kind of hurt, but as Big Al, lead trainer of MaleEnhancementCoach.com, talks about, there are even negative impacts on your male enhancement training:
Without attempting to sound too much like a cliche, male enhancement knowledge in someone with a negative mindset can lead to a host of problems. I often call it the “dark side” of male enhancement.
In the very anxious and self loathing it can actually lead to negative results.
In someone with a lot of anger issues towards women (or towards the subject of sex in general) it can lead to the development of a superficial physical “mastery” at the expense of emotional wholeness. This is the scenario where you see men developing their potency and misusing it. In not-too-severe cases, these men grow up at some point and decide they want a deeper relationship. It’s not unusual to see the lack of emotional development come back in the form of performance anxiety- as all of those emotions normally connected with sex they attempted to divorce themselves from come back with a fury. It’s a case of treating the symptom while ignoring the cause.
So, how do you get past the hurt?
There is no simple answer, because every situation is different, and every man is unique. However, often knowing you’re not alone can help you start on the path of healing.
Having a place to share your experiences and feelings can also help. We have several places in the PEGym community where you can find support, and maybe even lend a virtual ear to other men who’ve encountered similar situations of hurt. These include:
- Challenges with Anxiety & Depression Forum
- Relationship Forum
- The Gym Forum – for anything not directly PE related
Or, you can reach out to our female members, to help get the female perspective –
Just please know you’re not alone. There are people who care. You can get through the pain. And, most importantly, the PEGym community is here to support you in any way we can.