Big Al, of MaleEnhancementCoach.com, answers a question about low self-esteem and penis size, in this Ask the Experts article.
Q. Ever since I was young I’ve had low self esteem…
…Even though according to PEGym my penis is longer than average I still see myself as inadequate and have even rejected opportunities for sex because of fear. I used to be able to bring myself to go on dates I now can’t even do that anymore! It’s gotten to the point where even my male enhancement training is being affected! What can I do?!
Big Al: It’s unfortunate, but your complaint is an increasingly common one. Not coincidentally, this time of year (the Holidays) is when these types of complaints seem to pick up.
If the nature of your complaint is manageable then self-introspection along with emotional visualization exercises should be of benefit. An interesting exercise you can perform is to visualize yourself going back in time and confronting your younger self during moments where you felt the greatest shame. Instead of visualizing your past self with loathing, switch gears toward compassion with firm guidance. This wouldn’t be much different from the type of guidance you might give your future children under the same situation. This combination of compassion with firm guidance should also apply when you’re tempted to retreat into current phases of self-loathing, since the worst thing you can do is to dwell on and allow those negative feelings to take over.
To add, avoid indulging in negative behaviors- like reading or engaging in “fear porn” type activities. Do your best to focus your attention on positive activities. To add, associate yourself with positive individuals. Relying on a trusted loved one can be very helpful in times of emotional crisis.
As mentioned before, the above advice is for MANAGEABLE emotional issues. If you aren’t able to manage your emotional issues (especially if you’re contemplating suicide) you should seek immediate qualified medical attention.
Body dysmorphia (obsession with a perceived body flaw) is a very common problem, so first know that you’re not alone. Even though, as you mentioned, you logically know you are larger than average, your heart doesn’t let you believe it.
This can be absolutely debilitating.
As you’ve stated, it’s even preventing you from dating – finding love – being happy.
With this much of an effect on your life, I would strongly suggest talking with a mental health professional. They can help you with exercises to overcome these insecurities and make you comfortable in your own skin. This is rarely something you can overcome on your own.
As Big Al mentioned, if at anytime this becomes overwhelming to you and even the thought of self-harm, at any level, comes into your mind – please, please, PLEASE seek help immediately.
The above number is available 24/7 and is 100% confidential.
You can get through this. You can be happy. I know it might not seem like it right now.