Top Penis News Stories of the Week

Well, I don’t know if it’s been a full moon this week or if just the wackiness of nearing Halloween is affecting people, but we have had a week so chock-full of penis new stories, I couldn’t pick just one to talk about. So, instead, you’ll get a synopsis of the top penis-related news makers this week.

Happy Friday and enjoy!

Joe Jonas Talks about His Penis Size and Losing his Virginity

joe-jonas-penis-sizeThis little news article drew my attention, because I admit to being a little bit of a Jonas Brothers fan girl. *fan girl sigh* 🙂  In a Reddit AMA, Joe Jonas did the AMA theme proud, with his candor. In addition to talking about losing his virginity to ex-girlfriend Ashley Greene, and destroying his roommate’s room searching for condoms, he also talked about his penis size.. in relation to his brothers. Although saying he didn’t often have opportunities to compare penises with his bros, and answered:

I like to think so. Although, it’s not often that I’m in a locker room or shower with my brothers, so I couldn’t really tell you. But, I’d like the Internet to believe that I’m still killin’ it.

Oh, Joe! You’re definitely still killin’ it in my books!

McDonald’s Customer Exposes Himself to Worker

gillam-penis mcdonald'sDa da da da-da!  I’m lovin’ it!…  NOT!

Stephen Gillam, of Ireland, ordered a double sausage and egg McMuffin, with extra hashbrowns, and a milk through a McDonald’s drive-through. He was asked to pull forward and someone would bring him his food. When the McDonald’s employee came out, Gillam had his pants unzipped and his penis exposed.  When asked why he did it, he said it was for the “thrill of it” and to see the worker’s reaction.

Found guilty of threatening and abusive behavior, GIllam ended up paying €1,500 in fines. Probably the most expensive breakfast ever had at a McDonald’s!

When Having a Small Penis May Keep You Out of Jail

rapist-micropenisJacques Rouschop — a rotund career criminal known by the nickname “Porkchop” — has been accused of choking and raping two sex workers in Canada. His lawyer is going with the classic “fat tummy – small penis” defense.

According to attorney Natasha Calvinho, Rouschop’s stomach is too large and his penis “way too small” to have been the perpetrator of the crime. In addition to nude photos of her client which were passed around to jury members, a nurse also testified in Rouschop’s favor. The nurse noted Rouschop’swaist is 66 inches, but his penis is only one inch — two when erect.

I think this may be the first time a man is going to be actually thankful he has a micropenis.

Penis-Chomping Turtle

And, in one of those news stories where you just HAVE to see it, an unidentified man had a little penis/turtle trouble. Now, when watching this video, your penis may do a little turtling on its own!

Although it’s unclear how the turtle came to chomp on the man’s penis, through his pants. He can be clearly seen walking down the street – painfully – holding the turtle by a red string, as he made his way to the hospital.  It’s a short clip, but…  OUCH!!

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