Premature Ejaculation: What is It? Why Does it Happen? How Can I Fix It? – Pt 6

Masturbation is a double-edged sword, when it comes to premature ejaculation. It can either help you learn to control your premature ejaculation, or it can be a cause (or contributing factor) to it.

Written by Kimberly Wylie


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When used correctly, masturbation is a great way to learn your body cues as you approach the PONR. It can help you learn to control your arousal level. Masturbation can also help desensitize you slightly to sexual stimulation. This is especially helpful if you’re orgasming before or shortly after penetration. However, when used incorrectly, bad habits can be formed compounding your premature ejaculation problem.

Here are some Dos and Don’ts of masturbation, if you have a problem with premature ejaculation:

Dos of Masturbation

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  1. Masturbation Techniques – Be sure to use the techniques we’ve talked about above when masturbating — relax, keep your arousal low, use consistent, semi-deep breathing to keep your arousal under control.
  1. Cold Erection – Always start with no erection – no visual or thought stimulation, only manual rubbing.
  1. Relaxed Pelvic Muscles – Keep your pelvic muscles relaxed. Contractions can lead to ejaculation.
  1. Kegels – After 20 minutes of practice, try “holding in” your orgasm by Kegeling. See the section below for more about male multiple orgasms.
  1. Performance Trainer – If you are really serious about improving your stamina, get the Performance Trainer. This is the most life-like masturbator on the market. It even stimulates your glans, just like a woman’s vagina during sex.
  1. Urinate First – Always urinate before you masturbate or have sex. You don’t want the extra pressure in your bladder.
  1. Point of No Return – Use masturbation to help you identify the feeling of the PONR. Once you know that feeling, you’ll be able to know when to slow down or stop during the pre-point of no return (10 to 30 seconds before PONR).

Don’ts of Masturbation

  1. Don’t Rush – Whatever you practice is what your body becomes accustomed to. Never rush masturbation, as rushing will become a habit that’s hard to break.
  1. Nix the Visualization – Again, if you’re using masturbation to help you prepare for the real thing, over-visualization can negatively affect you when it comes time to perform. This includes NO use of pornography when masturbating. This can result in compounding your problems. Read this –The Slippery Slope of Pornography and the Negative Effects on Male Enhancement
  1. Over Arousal – Never start masturbating if you’re already very aroused. You don’t want to start at a stage of arousal where you get tot he PONR too quickly.
  1. More than Your Hand – Don’t have your hand do all the work. Instead, thrust into it, just like sex. Remember, this should be practice for the real thing.

Masturbation Technique #1 – The Modified Start/Stop

Just as with the Start and Stop method during sex, this same technique can be applied to masturbation, to help train you to overcome premature ejaculation.

  •  Start with a cold erection – no premature ejaculation start and stopvisual or thought stimulation – only stimulate yourself with your hand.
  • Relax your pelvic muscles, use steady, semi-deep breathing and control your arousal.
  • As you build up intensity, be sure to stop at the pre-point of no return. Never rush to this point.
  • Completely stop masturbating for 30 seconds, or until your arousal level is back under control, then begin again.

Masturbation Technique #2 – Holding it in with Kegels

This technique requires strong pelvic muscles. Can you hold a Kegel for 15 to 20 seconds? Can you do this for at least 15 reps? If not, then your pelvic muscles need strengthening. Start Kegeling! When you have control over your pelvic muscles, you’ll be able to contract and relax them at will.

As always, never rush your masturbation, even if you’re eager to practice holding it in. All of the advice about in the Start & Stop applies — cold erection, relax your pelvic muscles, and keep your arousal under control.

  • After 20 minutes or longer (longer is better), you’re ready to try holding it in.
  • Approximately 5 to 7 seconds before you ejaculate, stop all stimulation.
  • Hard Kegel for 5 to 10 seconds, or until the urge to orgasm has gone away.
  • Repeat this process multiple times, until you’re ready to ejaculate.

This is one of the hardest techniques to master, so don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t quite get it right away.


Keep Reading: Your Mind & Premature Ejaculation?