Remember, sex isn’t just about actual intercourse. If you have an issue with premature ejaculation, making your partner’s pleasure your primary focus can help make even the shortest stamina become a non-issue.
Written by Kimberly Wylie
MAKE HER ORGASM YOUR FOCUS
Make your partner orgasm (or orgasm multiple times) with oral or manual stimulation, and chances are they won’t mind if you lose control sooner than you had hoped! Here are some ways to help get her prepped for the Big O.
- Build an Emotional Connection – An emotional connection between you and your partner helps them lose their inhibitions, which is key to really great sex. Now, I’m not saying women don’t ever want an emotionless, one-night stand — on occasion, they might. However, for the most part, trust and feeling close to their partner is critical to them really letting go. There is a saying — The woman needs to be close emotionally to a man, to want sex, and the man needs sex to feel emotionally close to a woman. This emotional connection is really a big thing for most women. Make them feel cherished and adored and important, and watch your sex life really take off!
- Communication – Don’t assume you know what your partner likes or dislikes – ask! Pay attention to both her verbal and non-verbal communication. Communication also includes bedroom talk. Again, find out what she likes. Does she want you to whisper sweet nothings in her ear or does she want you to talk dirty to her? You won’t know unless you ask. Never assume anything!
- Enhance her Perception – Who doesn’t like to hear they’re doing a good job? Increase her self-confidence and let her know how much you’re enjoying your encounter. Tell her how good she feels – how much you like being with her. By telling her how amazing she is, you’ll help her let go of her inhibitions, which she needs to do to orgasm. Remember, the biggest sexual organ is the brain!
- Focus on Foreplay – The benefits of more foreplay are two-fold. Not only do longer bouts of foreplay help a man last longer when it comes time to the main event, but it also helps a woman reach orgasm even quicker, once intercourse starts. You’ll also be combating one of the complaints most women have — that their lovers aren’t willing to spend the time on foreplay, because they’re too eager to get to the main event. Again, focus on your partner and foreplay, not on yourself. Don’t get overly-excited. Keep control of your arousal level even during foreplay.
- Kiss Her – Never,
ever forget about kissing. Kissing your partner on the mouth signals all the wonderful hormones in her brain to get ready for sex. It raises her body temperature and speeds up her heart rate and her breathing. Plus, it helps build that emotional connection she most often wants. Trailing kisses down her neck, across her shoulders, even on the back of her neck can be just as arousing as any other part of the body.
- Build up the Intensity – As a general rule of thumb, start slow and build up intensity. This is true no matter what you’re doing to your female partner. Hard and fast can be good, but not usually right off the bat. Of course, if you’ve just spent an evening out teasing her with kisses and neck nibbles on the dance floor, teasing your fingers lightly up her back, and whispering in her ear, you may have already begun to build up that intensity outside of the bedroom.
- Women are an Enigma – Embrace this fact and you’re a step ahead of a lot of guys. Most of the time women don’t want to have to tell you what they want; they want you to instinctively know. Is this fair? Probably not. But, it is what it is. Then, once you find something that really works for her, the next time, it might not, so you’re back to square one. This is part of the reason why #2 – Communication is so very important. If you’re partner is hesitant to tell you directly, “Do this” then you’re going to really have to pay attention to those non-verbal cues. Don’t get caught up in your own sensations. Really focus on her and what she (and her body) are telling you, and you’ll be the amazing, selfless lover she’s bragging to all of her girlfriends about.
I’VE GOT MY PREMATURE EJACULATION UNDER CONTROL – NOW WHAT?
Once you’ve overcome premature ejaculation, you don’t have to stop working on your sexual stamina. Taking control of your sex life is not just about avoiding problems; it’s about enhancing what you’ve already got and bettering your life. Some of the premature ejaculation techniques also put you on the path to multiple male orgasms!
Harnessing your sexual energy/sexual chi and becoming multi-orgasmic takes some dedication, but the results will take your sex life to a whole new
level of fulfillment. Read more about how to become multi-orgasmic in our article, How do You Achieve Multiple Male Orgasm.