The PreE90 Course to Increase Stamina and Beat Premature Ejaculation

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This excellent article on how to beat Premature Ejaculation (preE) comes to us courtesy of WillGetBetter.

Goal: To increase stamina. Beat premature ejaculation.

How: By developing an arousal plateau through daily exercises targeted at the main causes of preE.

The number one goal in beating premature ejaculation is to develop an arousal plateau. An arousal plateau is a prolonged amount of sexual activity below the point of no return (PONR). Men with premature ejaculation have little or no arousal plateau during a sexual experience. Generally, arousal spikes up quickly to the PONR and is immediately followed by ejaculation.

 

Common symptoms of men with preE

From following the stories of members of the site and reading a number of medical journals and books on premature ejaculation, the most common symptoms are:

  1. Tight Pelvic Floor Muscles and Involuntary kegels (IKs): contractions of the pelvic floor muscles occur involuntarily. These contractions are the same mechanism involved in male orgasm. IK are often a sign of tight pelvic floor muscles and an inability to handle sexual stimuli.
  2. Anxiety: Fear of early ejaculation developed through past sexual experiences. Usually accompanied by a release of fear response chemicals (cortisol and adrenaline), shortened breath, tightening of muscles.
  3. Inability to handle sexual arousal: sexual touching of the body (especially the glans and frenulum), thoughts, sounds, visual stimuli – all lead to faster ejaculation.

It is often difficult to diagnose just one root cause of premature ejaculation. Often multiple factors are involved such that improvement in only one factor may not lead to increased stamina. This can falsely lead the practitioner to believe that that one factor is not a cause for him.  It is recommended that you practice and improve all potential physical and mental causes of preE.

 

The PreE90 method focuses on the three main causes of Premature Ejaculation and treatments that have shown success onsite and in medical studies

IssueTreatments
Tight pelvic floorStretching, yoga, and massage
Inability to handle sexual stimuliArousal awareness, edging, and ballooning
AnxietyRelaxation breathing and meditation

 

The goals of the program are to:

    • Be able to rate your own arousal level
    • Develop the ability to perform reverse kegels
    • Learn to feel what your body is doing during sex to understand how to lower or moderate your arousal below the PONR
    • Learn the stretches, yoga poses, and massage techniques to loosen your pelvic floor
    • Learn to edge to fix poor masturbation habits and to practice techniques to ultimately use during sex
    • Learn to handle sexual stimuli through repetition, breathing, and mental relaxation
    • Develop an arousal plateau

 

Week 1

Goals:

    1. Learn and record what your body does during sexual activity and masturbation.
    2. Educate yourself on the main techniques for loosening the pelvic floor, relaxing the body and mind, and increasing the ability to handle intense sexual stimuli.
    3. Buy a fleshlight and water-based lube. You will need these to simulate sex as closely as possible. This will allow you practice all the techniques and give you feedback on your progress.
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Goal #1: Start a progress log or journal. Describe how you masturbate and describe how your partnered sexual activities go. Highlight any differences. Describe how you would like your sex to go. Write down a couple specific end goals: I would like to last 10 minutes in girl on top position.

When describing your masturbation habits consider:

    • How long does it last?
    • Do you use lube?
    • Do you use a fleshlight?
    • Is your pelvic floor tight or loose?
    • Do you have involuntary kegels?
    • Which part of the penis is the most sensitive? (Glans, frenulum, other)
    • What body positions do you masturbate in?
    • Describe your breathing. Describe your overall muscle tension. Describe your sexual thoughts.
    • Do you ejaculate every time you masturbate?
    • Do you watch porn?

When describing how you have sex consider:

    • How long does it last?
    • Is your pelvic floor tight or loose?
    • Do you have involuntary kegels?
    • Are the glans, frenulum, or other areas of the penis highly sensitive?
    • What positions do you have sex in? What position is the easiest and most difficult when having sex?
    • Describe your breathing. Describe your overall muscle tension. Describe your sexual thoughts.
    • What are your body and mind doing during foreplay? Are you highly aroused by the time you start intercourse?

 

Goal #2: Educate yourself

Training over the 90 days will require you to know how to rate your arousal level, edge, balloon, perform front reverse kegels, stretch and massage your pelvic floor, do relaxation breathing, etc. Start by reading each of these topics. You can come back to these links in the future as you refine your technique and you can ask questions on the forums when you need help. Also, the stickies have many of the links below and more.

Keep track of your training. AManWithAPlan2 made a great table for tracking his progress. It’s something like this:

SunMonTuesWedThursFriSat
Stretch
Massage
RKs
Edge
Balloon
Breathe
Meditation

 

Goal #3: Go buy a flesh light and water-based lube. When edging, you want something that matches the real thing as closely as possible. If you have time to let it soak in warm water for 10 minutes before a session, then it will be even more realistic. You can also pull the inner part out of the plastic casing, wrap it in a towel, and put it between two pillows to mimic the missionary position with no hands necessary.

 

Week 2

Goals:

    1. Pelvic floor stretches and massage
    2. Practice reverse kegels
    3. Edge

Goal #1: A tight pelvic floor is a common cause of preE. Contractions of the pelvic floor muscles occur during orgasm and ejaculation. You want to get to a point where your pelvic floor remains loose during sex. This is one way you will develop an arousal plateau. If your pelvic floor is always tight, or tightens with each thrust, then it is difficult to keep away from the PONR. A tight pelvic floor is also one cause of involuntary kegels, or a spasming of the pelvic floor muscles. Involuntary kegels can also lead more quickly to the PONR.

  • Pelvic floor stretches: Do each stretch for 20-30 seconds. Do two sets of each stretch daily.
  • Happy baby pose
  • Hindi squat
  • Wide stance hindi squat
  • Hindi wall squat: back on floor, butt up to wall, feet on wall, rotate hips to keep lower back pressed on floor
  • Butterfly and reverse butterfly
  • Pigeon
  • Reverse hurdler
  • Quad stretches
  • Cat and cow
  • Downward dog
  • Cobra
  • Runner’s lunge
  • Hip flexor stretches
  • Child’s pose
  • Pelvic floor massage: Sit on a tennis ball. Move it around to different positions on the pelvic floor all the way from where the shaft enters your body to your anus. This can be done while sitting at work or in the car. Start out with 15-30 minutes. Work up from there. Listen to your body. Rest if you need it. Go longer when you are ready. I worked up to sitting on a tennis ball a few hours a day.

 

Goal #2: Reverse kegels (RKs) are a key component for keeping the pelvic floor relaxed and loose throughout the day and during edging and sex. A RK is an expansion of the pelvic floor with pressure generated by the diaphragm. Where a kegel is a contraction of the pelvic floor muscles, a reverse kegel is a stretching, loosening, expansion of the pelvic floor.

How to get a feeling for RKs: Each time you go to the bathroom, practice your RKs. Start your flow of urine. Then, increase the flow of urine. That is a reverse kegel. Next, stop your flow of urine by doing a normal kegel. Repeat this process a few times each time you go to the bathroom. It will get your brain and body synched up. Do this for a few weeks.

Assessing the effectiveness of your RKs: Get a hard erection. Perform some RKs. You can do long ones or short bursts. Try to make your erection go down. Keep track of how long it takes for you to decrease your erection. When I first started, I could not reduce my erection with RKs because my pelvic floor was so tight. Now, I can almost completely lose my erection in about 10-15 seconds with a couple hard RKs. Performing RKs during sex can lower your erection quality (EQ). It becomes a balancing act to lower arousal and maintain good EQ. Over time you will learn to do that.

Since kegels tend to tighten the pelvic floor, and tightness is not your friend, at the beginning of PreE training, I recommend doing a 100% RK routine for a while. How long? Do RKs only until you begin to gain some control over your arousal and increase your time to PONR during sex, or if you begin to see erection quality (EQ) issues and delayed ejaculation (DE). Ultimately, you will add normal kegels back into your routine because, like an athlete, you want to be both flexible (RKs) and strong (Ks).

Another common issue when attempting to do front RKs is that only the back (anus) expands. Why? This is likely occurring because your front pelvic floor muscles are still too tight. When you generate the downward pressure with your diaphragm, only the muscles and tissues near your anus expand.  Keep doing the pelvic floor stretches and massage. Pinpoint the tennis ball massage on the tight areas. I also did some normal kegels only on the back (anus) region to keep that strong, while I continued to stretch the front region. Over time, I achieved balance where I could isolate a front or back reverse kegel. But, at first, that was impossible for me due to the muscle tension. At first, just work on doing any type of reverse kegel that your body can do. Over time, work to focus on the front reverse kegel.

Reverse kegel routine: Start by doing 5 minutes of RKs two times per day. Do them in different positions (standing, sitting, bending over, on your knees, etc). Do long ones and short ones. Every time you urinate, do front reverse and front normal kegels a few times to dial in the technique.

 

Goal #3: Many men attribute at least a part of their preE to poor masturbation habits. Edging is a way to retrain your body and brain to form good habits. It is one of the most important exercises you will do to fix your PreE, because it’s connected to all aspects of your training. You will use edging to practice various skills (relaxation breathing, reverse kegels, different positions, how to thrust without tightening your pelvic floor, etc), you will use it to gauge your progress (time to PONR), and you will use it to learn to rate and control your arousal.

There are a number of good edging threads on site. Here’s one from Ammonite.

Edging Basics:

  • 20 minute (or more) sessions
  • Only ejaculate every 3rd session (retrain your brain that you are in charge of when you ejaculate. This can be difficult, but commit to it.)
  • Adjust your thrust speed to what you can handle. For me, the first couple times I used the fleshlight, I could not move it at all without immediately going to the PONR. I could feel my pelvic floor immediately tighten and had many involuntary kegels. Over time, you will be able to move it up and down faster and will be able thrust your hips as well. But, you should crawl before you can walk (or run). Go slow! Learn to listen to what your body can handle.
  • Learn to connect your breathing and reverse kegels (meditative RKs) to the motion of the fleshlight. Breath in to your belly, do a RK, then slide the fleshlight down. Repeat. You will practice this 100’s or 1000’s of times during your training to be able to do it naturally during sex.
  • For each session, keep track of time to first PONR, thrust speed, and any other factors connected to your arousal, mental state, breathing, muscle tension, sexual thoughts, etc. Look for patterns. Look for ways to gain control.
  • Set goals for yourself. Time to PONR. Speed of thrusting. Different positions. Arousal level at plateau. Track your progress.
  • For the 90 days of this program, I suggest not using porn to become arousal or during your edging sessions. You need to focus on your body and mind. I think porn is too much of distraction, and, for some, it is a part of the problem causing the uncontrolled spike in arousal.

 

Week 3

Goals:

    1. Pelvic floor stretches and massage
    2. Reverse kegels and Anterior Pelvic Tilt (APT)
    3. Edge
    4. Relaxation breathing
    5. Ballooning

Goal #1: Continue stretching. Hold 20-30 seconds. Do a couple sets throughout the day. Sit on a tennis ball at work, in the car, watching TV, etc. I read a story of a PEGYM member who tried edging while sitting on a tennis ball, and it greatly prolonged his time to PONR. Try that. It may take weeks (or months) of stretching, but loosening the pelvic floor will pay off. Tightening and contractions lead to quick orgasm.

Goal #2: Continue getting a feel for your RKs while urinating. Also, see if there are different positions where you can feel pelvic floor expansion more while RK’ing. When I am in the “cat” yoga position with my hips rotated posteriorly and my back arched upwards, I can feel a much more expansive RK. When I am in the “cow” position with my hips rotated anteriorly and a downward dip in my back, I cannot perform a RK because my pelvic floor is pulled tight. Take a look at the condition called Anterior Pelvic Tilt (APT). There is an association between APT, a tight pelvic floor, an inability to reverse kegel, and premature ejaculation. If you think that is an issue, incorporate the APT exercises into your stretching routine. Even if you don’t have diagnosable APT, try playing around with how hip rotation affects your ability to RK.

Watch: APT Exercises (starts at 7 minute mark).

Goal #3: Keep edging. Remember to slow your speed or just slide the fleshlight over and completely stop at the beginning. Note if you have IKs. Relax your breathing. Keep working to increase the time until your PONR. Use RKs to lower your arousal. It may take a few weeks to do this effectively. If your pelvic floor is too tight, then your RKs will not be effective. Try edging in different positions (laying on back, standing, kneeling, missionary, etc). Try shifting your weight to different parts of your body. Try to thrust your hips without tightening your pelvic floor. Try rotating your hips to counteract APT. If you canot keep away from the PONR, then stop and do some pelvic floor stretches and/or massage during an edging session, do relaxation breathing, calm your mind.

Goal #4: Use your breath to help calm your body and mind. When I had preE, even from the first thought of having sex, my heart rate would spike up, I would feel flush with chemicals released in my body, my stomach would have a nervous feeling, etc. Take a medium deep breath into your belly and exhale slowly. You can practice triangle breathing where you breathe in for X seconds, hold for X seconds, and exhale for X seconds. Imagine your body calming down. Imagine the intense feelings of arousal dissipating throughout your body and vanishing.  Go back and re-read the meditative kegel breathing technique. Practice it. Remember to use it during edging (and sex).

Goal #5: In addition to a tight pelvic floor, many men struggle with handling the intense feelings from being touched on the sensitive areas of the penis. There are a number of methods to reduce sensitivity. Here, I will focus on a technique that helps your brain get used to the intense feeling, instead of some of the other techniques that are focused strictly on desensitizing the penis.  Many men find the frenulum and areas around and on the glans to be extremely sensitive. Touching these areas can lead to IKs (again which lead to quick orgasms). Read the following post on the ballooning technique. The technique is somewhat vague, but basically, you use lube and gently slide your fingers over the frenulum, glans, and other sensitive areas of your erect penis. This is a good time to practice relaxation breathing and reverse kegels. When you get near the PONR either slow your speed or stop and take a break. Try to calm your body and relax your pelvic floor. Do some RKs, do some stretches and pelvic floor massage to loosen up again.

Read: Ballooning.

 

Week 4

Goals:

    1. Pelvic floor stretches and massage
    2. RKs
    3. Edge
    4. Balloon
    5. Meditation (Mindfulness)

Keep going with goals 1 – 4. During an “edging” session, incorporate ballooning into the session. Mix it up. Keep track of what your heart rate, breathing, and muscle tension is doing as your arousal ramps up from 0 to the PONR. The multiple male orgasm (MMO) masters also use kegels to control arousal even though a kegel temporarily introduces more tension into the pelvic floor muscles. MMO requires very good timing (just near the PONR) and great strength (to fend off the ejaculation). I don’t think it’s the right time to introduce those techniques now. But, I do think that you could play around with doing a normal, contracting, kegel every once in a while. Sometimes I find it to be a good “reset” button. I do a short kegel, and then immediately afterwards I do some RKs to reduce that tension. That helps me to gain control again.

Keep playing around with different speeds, body positions (move your legs around, rotate your hips in different positions, bend your knees, change the arch of your back), your relaxation breathing, RKs, etc. Remember only to ejaculate every 3rd (or so) session. Retrain that brain! You need to take control over your body.

The term “ballooning” has a few different meanings on the PEGYM site. One is to lightly rub sensitive areas of the penis with lube to train yourself to handle those intense feelings. Another is to RK and loosen your pelvic floor to allow your penis to fill with blood and enlarge. Play around with your RK’s. Can you do it in a way that makes your EQ go down? What happens to your arousal in that case. Can you do a RK and make your penis enlarge? Both of these processes have been described by members on this site. I believe that both have a place in sexual training.

Goal #5: The mental side of preE can be challenging. At least for me, I find doing physical actions (like performing a stretch) to be more natural and straight forward. Anxiety, stress, and fear all seem to be associated with premature ejaculation, and can influence performance in a negative way.

I have been practicing what’s called Mindfulness Meditation. The goal is to take your attention away from poor past experiences and potentially bad future experiences by focusing solely on the present. It is calming because most anxiety and fear is generated by thinking about the past and worrying about the future. Being in tune with the present helps you understand what your body is doing and feeling during sex, and it also takes time and energy away from worrying about the past and future.

Male hands holding phone (Shutterstock)
Shutterstock Images

I use the Mindfulness Coach app because it’s free and has many resources. Some of the guided meditations are as short at 5 to 10 minutes. I did it every night for two weeks and continue to do it a few times each week now. It would be interesting to try it just before an edging session.

Trying to keep your body from ejaculating can be difficult. The autonomous parts of your nervous system (sympathetic and parasympathetic) function involuntarily. But, just as you can reduce your heart rate by relaxing, you can also learn to have some influence over your ejaculatory response. When I edge or have sex, and I can feel my arousal ramping up too quickly, I calm my mind and breathing, focusing on not contracting my pelvic floor, and also focus my mind on not ejaculating. It’s difficult, but it feels like the sensation when you try to keep yourself from coughing. Have you ever had a persistent cough and attempted to stop yourself from continuously coughing (possibly because you are trying to go to sleep or are at work)? How do you do that? You concentrate on not coughing. It’s very difficult, but you can make your body do that. That’s a little bit how I felt in the beginning when I tried to keep myself from reaching the PONR too quickly. It’s like a focused relaxation of my mind to keep an “involuntary” reaction from happening.

 

Week 5-13

The first 4 weeks were focused on learning about your body, learning the techniques you will use to develop an arousal plateau, and practicing those methods. The next 9 weeks will be about practice, improvement of technique, and making progress.

Continue doing each of these for weeks 5-13

    1. Stretching and Massage (2x/day)
    2. Reverse Kegels (throughout the day)
    3. Edging (5 days/week)
    4. Ballooning (5 days/week)
    5. Relaxation Breathing (everyday)
    6. Meditation (5 days/week)

Continue to journal, keep track of:

    1. How your pelvic floor feels (tight, loose)
    2. How effective your RKs are during edging and in different body positions
    3. The sensitivity of your penis during edging and ballooning
    4. How is your anxiety level? Do you feel nervous during sex? Does breathing or mental exercises help?
    5. Your time to PONR and your speed during edging, each week set a goal
    6. Are you continuing to have IKs, what’s the intensity
    7. Get help from the community. Ask questions. Continue to be curious.
    8. other aspects you deem important

As you get better at edging and your time to PONR increases, then begin to play around with moving your arousal up and down the scale. Play around with the different techniques to decrease your arousal (start/stop, decrease speed, RKs, switch positions, relaxation breathing, calm your mind). During edging and ballooning, in addition to relaxation breathing and RKs, I played around with some mental exercises to try to reduce my arousal level. I focused on the intense feelings on my penis and pelvic area. I imagined that feeling in my mind as a green color. Then, I imagined that green color dissipating and diluting by moving to other areas of my body. I would imagine that green color as a fluid that washed down my legs and into my feet and toes and up my torso and out my arms to my hands. As I imagined this fluid moving, I would feel the dissipation of the intense sexual feelings that could have sent me to the PONR. Then I could start again or pick up my speed again.

Remember to be aware of the tightness of your pelvic floor. It’s really hard to orgasm/ejaculate when your pelvic floor is loose. If you can find ways to keep the pelvic floor muscles from contracting, then you will find control.

 

What to Do During Sex

If you have a long-term sexual partner or someone willing to help you, I encourage you to ask that person for help. I told my wife that I had read a number of articles and forum posts on beating premature ejaculation. There’s a lot of evidence that it can be done. I think sex will be better for both of us when I fix this. Will you help me work on this? Even if you’re not in a long-term relationship, maybe you could recruit a FWB person to help out.

Here’s the process I used during real sex when I first started my PreE training:

– Foreplay and oral sex: I kept my clothes on. I did not allow myself to get too caught up in the excitement. I did relaxation breathing. I did reverse kegels to lower my erection and loosen my pelvic floor. I kept my mind very flat – not too excited. I focused on her and her pleasure and on what I thought would make her feel good. I tried to help her have an orgasm so that she got some enjoyment.

– Intercourse: I picked the position that was the easiest for me to rotate my hips and flatten my lower back to address my APT, which allowed me to perform effective RKs. That position was girl. For you, it my be a different position. When I first entered her, I asked her not to move. I got my breathing under control and relaxed. I let the flush of intense feelings and chemicals released in my body wash through me. I breathed and kept my mind relaxed. I did not focus on any erotic thoughts, I did not thrust my hips and tighten my pelvic floor, I did not grab her ass or breasts. I stayed very neutral. I did this for at least one minute, sometimes longer. I think it would even be helpful for those with really intense preE to do this for 5 minutes.

Next, I asked her to move up and down very slowly. The rate was probably once every 5 seconds. I did my meditative reverse kegel breathing (one RK for every stroke while inhaling a breath). I did not participate in the thrusting. Only she moved. I kept my mind calm. I asked her to stop when my arousal was too high.

We did this for a few minutes. The first time I did this, after a couple minutes, I felt that my arousal was ramping up too quickly. My RKs were not fully effective yet, my pelvic floor was not as loose as it is now, etc. So, I asked to switch positions to me standing. We did that position for a couple minutes and then we went back to girl on top. Again, we went back through the routine I described above. After a couple minutes, I settled into an arousal plateau of about a 6. We had sex for about 10 minutes at a very fast speed with me thrusting and feeling her body. It was a life changing experience. I realized at that moment that I could gain control of my arousal and could fix my preE.

 

Links to PEGYM threads of members who have had success increasing their stamina (for some inspiration!):

 

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank a number of members who have helped me either by directly providing feedback to this plan or by posting information and techniques they developed that I incorporated into this plan. Thank you: Pegasus, Big Al, TheZZMan, Boricua, AManWithAPlan2, incogneeetoe, andrewvi7, Paul789, Minuteman, Ammonite, Drummer19, kingpole, and imac.

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