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  • Motivation needed!

    I am trying this, really. I've been having the eq problem for sometime now. The last few girls I was with, I couldn't keep it up after foreplay to have sex. When I'm alone, I can get it and keep it if I keep my hands on it, if not I go completely limp and at times it feels like it's being retracted back inside and wont relax to hang or reach the max. Yes I have stated this before... My point of this thread is that I get depressed easy, and I'm not very happy about life. I have had my heart broke so many times, and it has caused me to be scared to live, and get out there again. I have been single for about 6 years and have tried to change that, but no luck. Three of the girls I met, mr. limpy showed up, causing problems, which lead to them leaving and that hurt a lil more knowing I couldn't lay the smack down on them when the time came. I used to be a very confident man, never was the ladies man, but also never was scared to try. Most of my problem is I can't and don't understand why I am still single and what makes me so not wanted by women. This keeps me from putting myself out there much, and I act like a lil bitch around girls I feel an attraction to. Never was this way before, but having my heart stepped on so much has made me scared. And maybe this is where my eq problem is coming from, IDK? I hate being depressed and always so sad about things, but even when I try to change it, it still blows up in my face. I miss being happy, and having someone. I feel very alone, my brother moved away a few years ago, my cousin who I grew up with and was like my older bro, he passed in 2010. They always made me feel comfortable and wanted and we were never bored. I don't have that anymore, and this lonely feeling is killing me. Which leads to me not fulfilling my PE and so many other things that I NEED TO DO. I have been prescribed Zoloft, I don't take that kind of medication, but the herbals don't seem to work Ither. I just don't know what to do anymore, I really feel like I'm cursed or destine to be this way. Anyway, I just needed to get this out. thanks to anyone who reads this... "It's hard to ask for help and tell your problems, but how can I solve them if I keep them in"

    I'm not a ugly guy, this I know. I am in shape, have a house, car and a job.
    smaLLer than beFore :(

  • #2
    I know your feelings. Something similar is happening to me. I feel very lonely because I'm the single child of an old couple (I'm 20, my father 69 and my mother 59) and have very few TRUE friends. I never had a girlfriend because of my appereance during my teens. I have friends, but unfortunately almost no time to see them. I'm always stressed, obsessed by my duties and never have time to relax. Plus, I'm concerned about my penis size and wonder if I'll ever gain thet magical inch that could bost my confidence. I was very confident before knowing my penis is under average (I'm 5" NBPEL) and I'm always told I'm a cool guy, not bad looking, smart and friendly. But I lost everything when I took the ruler and measured my buddy...
    Yet still, I know I don't want to give up. PE is something strange, I'm not 100% positive it works, but I realized I won't gain anything opbsessing over it or slacking off. I have to do it slowly and steadily. Life sometimes sucks, but there's always an alternative. You seem to be a nice person, who can give much to those around you.
    The only advice I can give you is to know more people. It helped me a lot. Now, whenever I feel alone and don't have to study I have someone I can pass time with. They are not many, but still someone
    I hope this helped.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey, brother. I know how it feels to be lonely. I think most people have been there at least once in their lives. Life isn't a dream and many-a-times things don't go as planned. You should learn to take things as they come. I used to complain a lot about things that're going bad in my life, but then I realized happiness and melancholy are two sides of the same coin. You'll have them both no what where you live, what you do in life, etc. Realizing that helped me grow as an individual. It might sound strange, but now, I tend to enjoy sadness as well (may be because I know it is not gonna last forever and same with happy times, they're all temporary things). I like spending time alone. It doesn't mean I have changed a lot as an individual (I'm still the same person), but I learned to ride the tide.

      I know ED sucks and takes toll on your self confidence. But you have a mild case of it, and it is totally curable. We have lots of information on this forum and multiple people who have successfully done it. I think it is all in your head. You need to get out more and befriend people. You are still single because you are running from who you are. My heart got shattered and I am still missing some pieces, haha. This is part of life, be good and goodness will come to you. I really think you are missing that bond with your own self. If you are unable to have that bond, you won't make a good friend/bf/husband etc. Love yourself for who you are. I think self improvement plays a big role in the formation of that bond. It never stops--PE, curing Premature Ejaculation, curing ED, lifting weights, running, being a good student--all this is nothing but fine examples of self-improvement. Because when you start moving towards the goals you have set, you start loving yourself and knowing you are worth something. It helps a great deal to boost your confidence and you start to respect yourself.

      If seeing how sad other people are gives you some sense of stability, I can write multiples book for ya, haha. Really, bro this life is too short to live like that. Please don't waste your golden years having that kind of mindset. You have a job, a house, and you are good looking. Not everyone can say that, and frankly, if you add a wife/gf in that equation, it is what most people dream of. So, work on your ED and get yourself a girl. Yes, easier said than done, but believe me, it is your journey that'll make you happy not your destination.

      Hope I didn't sound like a person who knows a lot about life, cuz that ain't the case (<-- in my fake texan accent, haha). I just wanted to help you.
      Cris
      "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea."

      Comment


      • #4
        I have had simular happen years ago and I know how hard, confusing and depressing it is. Im sure you are putting alot of pressure on yourself when you get into a situation where you are ready to perform. Some people are against it but have you considered asking your doctor for some viagra and just trying it to get your confidence back? The entire situation is an ugly downhill spiroll that has to be stopped. You really need a new begining! You probrably worry through foreplay that the erection wont be there when its time for intercourse I know I did but I made it past that by just relaxing I know going in it will be there or it wont and if it isnt I know it will come back. I also know she will be more than ready when it does. Its so easy to say relax and its so hard to do. Everynow and then I take a piece of a viagra when I know we have all night to enjoy each other. It may be just enough to get your confidence back? Remember I am absolutely no expert im just another guy out here battling life (for once I feel like im winning too!) and any advice I give take it for what you want. Do you smoke or drink?

        Comment


        • #5
          Now that you have spilled out the poison, are you a little better? I hope so, most of the times the best way to start walking towards the light is by letting go of the weight of your problems and feeling a little lighter. Now, I'm far from being an expert, but here there a many, many people who can, and I hope will, help you overcome your fears and frights. I can't say I've been in your position but I have suffered from depression for a year and I know how dreadful it is to wake up and think: "I want to die, to just lie down and die" and have this occur to you every minute throughout the day. I know what it is like to look at a field of flowers and feel they are all grey and how the sky seems to have a black spot over you, everywhere you go. I am with you here, and I will give you all the help I can to aid you in overcoming depression, at least you've taken the first step: throwing the pills out the window. Now, what you can do to stomp your depression is to just let all that steam out, just say "***k it!" and scream it out, yell it out, write it out, paint it out, just express it much the way you did here! That usually helps you look at what is this weight you feel inside of your chest every morning and then, after you've seen what it is, we can just tear it away from you as it is poisoning you.
          Your ED is most likely linked to your depression, and I believe that if we, this community, can help you overcome the depression you can get your penis to respond to you back in no time and it will respond better.
          Yes, trying to get yourself up and then get yourself beaten down again is the worse part of depression, especially if it is someone you want to share something with then the blow is twice as hard and hurts a hundred times more.
          Plus, you have got something I did not: self esteem. You know you are a handsome man, you know your body is attractive, and that is the best, at least you can take refuge there.
          I would like to offer my condolences for the loss, both to distance and to death, of your cousin. That is the most severe blow one can take: the death of someone whom is very dear to one. And I will do all I can to aid you.
          Now, I wish you the best of lucks, and may that black spot on the sky vanish letting the sun shine down on you once again!

          Best of lucks,

          Everman.
          Start: 20/June/2012 (1st start):
          BPEL: 17cm (6.69")
          MSEG: 12.5cm (4.92")aprox
          Current(28/July/2013)
          BPEL:19.9cm(7.83")/NBPEL:17.5cm (6.89")
          MSEG:12.7cm (5.00")
          Current goal:NBPEL:20cm(7.87")
          MSEG:14cm(5.51")

          Relentlessly forward, without regret, pain or forgiveness.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Maestro Assassino View Post
            I know your feelings. Something similar is happening to me. I feel very lonely because I'm the single child of an old couple (I'm 20, my father 69 and my mother 59) and have very few TRUE friends. I never had a girlfriend because of my appereance during my teens. I have friends, but unfortunately almost no time to see them. I'm always stressed, obsessed by my duties and never have time to relax. Plus, I'm concerned about my penis size and wonder if I'll ever gain thet magical inch that could bost my confidence. I was very confident before knowing my penis is under average (I'm 5" NBPEL) and I'm always told I'm a cool guy, not bad looking, smart and friendly. But I lost everything when I took the ruler and measured my buddy...
            Yet still, I know I don't want to give up. PE is something strange, I'm not 100% positive it works, but I realized I won't gain anything opbsessing over it or slacking off. I have to do it slowly and steadily. Life sometimes sucks, but there's always an alternative. You seem to be a nice person, who can give much to those around you.
            The only advice I can give you is to know more people. It helped me a lot. Now, whenever I feel alone and don't have to study I have someone I can pass time with. They are not many, but still someone
            I hope this helped.
            Thanks bro!
            I never really worried about my penis size much, until sometime after my wife left. Since, and certainly now, it's always on my mind. I have been a devoted porn watcher for so many years, and probably have jacked it more than most, lol. All of which is no good for any guy! But yea, I do need to get out more, there just isn't much here for me to do. Anywhere to go or any girls. You have to drive freaking 30 minutes away just to have fun! lol. Good luck in your quest bro!
            smaLLer than beFore :(

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by cris_jos View Post
              Hey, brother. I know how it feels to be lonely. I think most people have been there at least once in their lives. Life isn't a dream and many-a-times things don't go as planned. You should learn to take things as they come. I used to complain a lot about things that're going bad in my life, but then I realized happiness and melancholy are two sides of the same coin. You'll have them both no what where you live, what you do in life, etc. Realizing that helped me grow as an individual. It might sound strange, but now, I tend to enjoy sadness as well (may be because I know it is not gonna last forever and same with happy times, they're all temporary things). I like spending time alone. It doesn't mean I have changed a lot as an individual (I'm still the same person), but I learned to ride the tide.

              I know ED sucks and takes toll on your self confidence. But you have a mild case of it, and it is totally curable. We have lots of information on this forum and multiple people who have successfully done it. I think it is all in your head. You need to get out more and befriend people. You are still single because you are running from who you are. My heart got shattered and I am still missing some pieces, haha. This is part of life, be good and goodness will come to you. I really think you are missing that bond with your own self. If you are unable to have that bond, you won't make a good friend/bf/husband etc. Love yourself for who you are. I think self improvement plays a big role in the formation of that bond. It never stops--PE, curing Premature Ejaculation, curing ED, lifting weights, running, being a good student--all this is nothing but fine examples of self-improvement. Because when you start moving towards the goals you have set, you start loving yourself and knowing you are worth something. It helps a great deal to boost your confidence and you start to respect yourself.

              If seeing how sad other people are gives you some sense of stability, I can write multiples book for ya, haha. Really, bro this life is too short to live like that. Please don't waste your golden years having that kind of mindset. You have a job, a house, and you are good looking. Not everyone can say that, and frankly, if you add a wife/gf in that equation, it is what most people dream of. So, work on your ED and get yourself a girl. Yes, easier said than done, but believe me, it is your journey that'll make you happy not your destination.

              Hope I didn't sound like a person who knows a lot about life, cuz that ain't the case (<-- in my fake texan accent, haha). I just wanted to help you.
              Cris
              Yes... You should write a book or two, lol. Nice words man, very helpful. I have realized that I don't really like or love myself, why I don't know. I'm not a bad person, and I get along with most everyone so I should love me, or at least like myself more. It's hard to do what is right sometimes, and with the heart it is really hard to fix. I do believe it's all in my head, and that if I ever come to terms with whatever is inside that is causing my problems, I know I will be ok and free again.
              It's hard to just get out and meet people here. There isn't anything to do here, nowhere to go. The choices for women are not my type, or with someone. I sometimes feel and wish I lived somewhere else. A place I can be active and do the things I like to do and find friends that like to do the same, and also a better chance to find a girl. Daily I sit here and think about me growing old and missing out on all what I see couples having and doing. I miss that and want it back! Nobody wants that, I hope.

              Thanks for reaching out to me bro!
              smaLLer than beFore :(

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by 2009vettez51 View Post
                I have had simular happen years ago and I know how hard, confusing and depressing it is. Im sure you are putting alot of pressure on yourself when you get into a situation where you are ready to perform. Some people are against it but have you considered asking your doctor for some viagra and just trying it to get your confidence back? The entire situation is an ugly downhill spiroll that has to be stopped. You really need a new begining! You probrably worry through foreplay that the erection wont be there when its time for intercourse I know I did but I made it past that by just relaxing I know going in it will be there or it wont and if it isnt I know it will come back. I also know she will be more than ready when it does. Its so easy to say relax and its so hard to do. Everynow and then I take a piece of a viagra when I know we have all night to enjoy each other. It may be just enough to get your confidence back? Remember I am absolutely no expert im just another guy out here battling life (for once I feel like im winning too!) and any advice I give take it for what you want. Do you smoke or drink?
                Oh yea! lol. Everytime when it does happen, during 4play I am consantly worried about getting and keeping an erection, (performance anxiety) I guess.
                I think about things and try to manually get it and keep it hard, but nothing. I havn't thought about Viagra, cause I'm a naturalist. I will consider that though, and bring it up with my doctor. I don't drink, but I do smoke medical weed. Not all day, but everyday. And I stay active.

                Thanks bro!
                smaLLer than beFore :(

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Everman View Post
                  Now that you have spilled out the poison, are you a little better? I hope so, most of the times the best way to start walking towards the light is by letting go of the weight of your problems and feeling a little lighter. Now, I'm far from being an expert, but here there a many, many people who can, and I hope will, help you overcome your fears and frights. I can't say I've been in your position but I have suffered from depression for a year and I know how dreadful it is to wake up and think: "I want to die, to just lie down and die" and have this occur to you every minute throughout the day. I know what it is like to look at a field of flowers and feel they are all grey and how the sky seems to have a black spot over you, everywhere you go. I am with you here, and I will give you all the help I can to aid you in overcoming depression, at least you've taken the first step: throwing the pills out the window. Now, what you can do to stomp your depression is to just let all that steam out, just say "***k it!" and scream it out, yell it out, write it out, paint it out, just express it much the way you did here! That usually helps you look at what is this weight you feel inside of your chest every morning and then, after you've seen what it is, we can just tear it away from you as it is poisoning you.
                  Your ED is most likely linked to your depression, and I believe that if we, this community, can help you overcome the depression you can get your penis to respond to you back in no time and it will respond better.
                  Yes, trying to get yourself up and then get yourself beaten down again is the worse part of depression, especially if it is someone you want to share something with then the blow is twice as hard and hurts a hundred times more.
                  Plus, you have got something I did not: self esteem. You know you are a handsome man, you know your body is attractive, and that is the best, at least you can take refuge there.
                  I would like to offer my condolences for the loss, both to distance and to death, of your cousin. That is the most severe blow one can take: the death of someone whom is very dear to one. And I will do all I can to aid you.
                  Now, I wish you the best of lucks, and may that black spot on the sky vanish letting the sun shine down on you once again!

                  Best of lucks,

                  Everman.
                  Lol, I do feel somewhat better. It always feels good to get things out, but even better when there are people there to offer help, support and guidence. I do feel that way everyday. That I just want to die and just give up. To some, being alone isn't that big a deal, to me it is. I have always had abandoment issues since my parents divoreced when I was 5, never staying in one school long, never knowing what having friends was and then the big one.. THE WIFE WALKING OUT. I know it's my depression that has me this way, but it so hard to not be. Most days I never smile, or even a happy thought. At home, it's just me and I never talk. It's always so quite and sad at home. I do have a few friends that I talk to, but two are married and one is locked up now. He was who I went to when I felt down, which was/is everyday.

                  I do thank you for what you have said, it really is nice to know complete strangers care! I do want help, and I do want to be the happy go lucky, never worried about nothing Eddie again. Any suggestions I get from yall, will and is greatly appreciated. And thanks, I miss my cousin daily and I teared up a lil reading your last part.

                  Thanks again bro, It really does help knowing people care.
                  smaLLer than beFore :(

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I am learning to not think about individual aspects of what is going on not concentrate on how my penis feels or if im pleasing my partner or anything really, just fall into what is happening and take in the whole experience drown myself in the passion and have fun. When I do things seem to fall in place.

                    Comment

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