Can a man have a "female orgasm"?
by
, 08-04-2015 at 01:35 PM (3271 Views)
Cross posting this from Fetlife. Dunno if it's interesting. I think it is.
OK, so I've been of this opinion for some time, via beating Premature Ejaculation (PE) some years ago and having to pay attention to and explore my own arousal given the lesson that orgasm and ejaculation are separate beasts.
But our bodies are different?
Well yes, and no. We all start "female" in the womb, and all of our organs start from the same seeds before the chromosomes kick in, so why would it be crazy to imagine we can work the same response? Most of which is mental anyway.
Now ejaculation in guys is prostate driven, and it's a different channel. I've spent some time exploring Male Multiple Orgasm (MMO), much of which is around Dry Orgasm (DO) which is about you keeping the prostate at bay as the ejaculate release comes with hormones that put us into refractory period preventing us from going again for anything from a minute as a teenager to a day as an OAP. We have to recharge anyway.
I've had orgasm without ejac a few times, and ejac without orgasm, which is rubbish, bloody loads of times. Same refractory period, but no release. Or even build up for that matter.
That orgasm without ejac has been, for me, short lived and typical. Not a female equivalent, shuddering and shouting and all that. So I've been exploring for the last few years how to improve it. Mainly via seeking MMO ... but that hasn't been easy, and I'm still not there yet.
In this time, I've learned so much about arousal, levels and orgasm, controlling it, moving energy around, partly with visualisation, partly with muscle control. And I've had better and better orgasms than ever before.
And occasionally, though it's really hard to identify exactly why, I've experienced a describably different climb. based in my chest, over my shoulders and down my legs, the intensity rising and rising, but never quite completing that way, instead completing, by choice, with some frustration and impatience, in the usual "Male orgasm" way, albeit bigger and better, but full ejaculation, boom, and crash.
Now here's something new, which has prompted me to write this. I've discovered recently that I can get off with a vibrator, just that against my penis head (which - fun fact - comes from the same root as a woman's clitoris) and not only am I getting better at it, and learning things about my response and climb.
Today, after discussion on a post I made on Fetlife about vibrators I took some of this on board and tried again with the vibe, tensing and breathing faster trying to escalate myself over that edge... and it was different. rushing up my body and exploding in bursts from my head. The escalation felt different, waves and tensing across my body. Then I was shaking, quivering like my whole body was being filled from a tap, sweating, and I could feel myself flushing, my face getting red hot....
... these are things I've watched in women orgasming time and time again. And it was bloody hard to climb and get over that edge, which weirdly was a different edge, a different "point of no return" to the typical male one coming from my pelvis, this was coming from the front of my body, and rising up my body, almost like water filling up to drown me, if only I knew how to get over that edge and be drowned.
I couldn't complete. So in desperation to finish, I masturbated furiously the normal way. And here's the surprising thing. That didn't feel like picking up and pushing myself the last steps over the edge. My body hot, flushed, twitching, sweating... it felt like starting again up a different path.
Finishing felt like I'd tried to have two different flavour orgasms with two different bodies, but I'd only been able to complete one of them, the one I've had thousands of times before, if better than usual.
And with that, it struck me, after some minutes sweating, tensing, pushing, panting that maybe it's that difficult for women to reach their first ones too.
Not that I was unsatisfied after giving up, getting as far as I did was still great. It's taken me almost an hour to write this as my body was weak, my hands unable to type, shattered.
What I do know, male vs female orgasm or not, is that I climbed a different hill today, and that there's a new peak there yet to achieve that I want SOOO much, that will have me in spasm, screaming.
I hope I can get there, and get good at it, and share this with lovers, and with you soon x