So I've been thinking a lot - as I always do, focused mostly on what I believe.


I've come to a conclusion that what I believe in most is Courage. Courage isn't a definable emotion; I'd be hard pressed to believe anyone could explain what courage feels like, it comes in so many different forms that many times it's difficult to pinpoint (as an outside observer or during self analysis), it can be action or inaction.


There are two instigating actions to change, action rooted in courage and action rooted in fear.


Courage is the antithesis of fear. It's not possible to "muster" fear as it is courage, because fear is simply there, it's easy, it's primordial, it's a base emotion; whereas courage is the act of marginalizing fear in order to act in conjunction with ones beliefs or will.


Courage is the starting point for risk because in order to take a risk, intrinsically, there must be fear present - so in order to begin to take a risk one must muster their courage and marginalize their fear. (Ex: asking a girl out)


Then, risk begets either one of two things (in greater or lesser quantities), joyful experiences or painful experiences. (Archetypically) I believe real change comes from the painful experiences, many of the time these painful experiences are dubbed "mistakes". It's also these painful experiences or "mistakes" which become the focal point for collective communal wisdom and individualistic advice. In essence what it really is, is conditioning for avoiding pain.


This brings me to my next discovery, wisdom and advice is 100% useless. It is impossible (in the context of relationships and life) to apply individualistic or communal understanding to personal situations no matter how paralleled the commonalities of the situation. "Widsom" and "Advice" are simply methods for the avoidance of pain. Which is understandably human, we are maximizers - one of the fundamentals of economics - and wisdom and advice seek to help others maximize their joy and minimize their pain.


However, I have come to believe that true change is based upon pain, based upon continuously seeking out situations which have been painful experiences in the past and continually attempting to gain reward from them. This too me is courage; though some may dub it idiocy. It's through this pain that we have the opportunity to grow, and it's our reaction to pain - whether we let it add to our fear or use it to develop new methods of gathering our courage, that defines how we change and what we end up becoming.


The other thing about fear is that it's prideful. The act of giving into fear affirms the belief that you know what the end result of something will be. You don't want to ask that girl out because you know she will say no. What's the point in fighting for the promotion the other candidates are better choices anyway. This type of secession to fear only entrenches the pridefulness associated with that fear. It confirms that you're fears are founded in truth, because not fighting against your fears and assuming an outcome will invariably produce the outcome you feared. These occurrences of giving in to fear will build up and over time it will be harder and harder to take the risks necessary, because more courage is required to overcome the surmounting fear you have.


Your ability to muster courage will atrophy. So, is it better to feel the pain associated with risk or is it better to allow yourself to build a prison of fear around your heart?


I've come to believe that no matter the situation we are in, we can always change because fear can always be overcome - for some that fear may be more difficult because more effort is required, and for others that change will be easier to come by because not as much fear exists in the first place.


I find it ridiculous, now, to ever allow fear to make a decision - fear is totally useless, it's a learned condition through causation and realizing this has given me one of the strongest footholds for changing my life I've ever had. I just wanted to share it.


Confidence is courage at rest. Women are attracted to confidence, so in order to truly have confidence and not just feign it as so many "self help" and "dating" books may teach, learn to be courageous in all aspects of life and that confidence will naturally exude its self.


The secret to getting women is by challenging yourself to constantly be changing. What can I change today?