Abandon hope all ye who enter here.........

Creating this blog to really show the good, the bad, and the ugly. This will be a raw, uncut version of the Life of the Burrito. In this blog you will laugh with me, tear up from cutting onions with me, and just see how stupid and crazy I am. This is my way of dealing with the current stress I'm going through, my way to vent and possibly my insanity plea. All comments are welcomed, all questions are encouraged...no answers guaranteed . This is raw and uncut so feel free to interject if you feel intervention is necessary! This is going to be real...you have been warned. Read further at your own risk!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man I'm in a bad spot right now. Do you listen to your heart or you mind? Heart is all over the place and so easily influenced. Mind reminds you of the reality of things emotions aside. So many things about me being challenged right now. It's like going about your day feeling like at any given moment you could just burst into tears. You convince yourself that you are doing the right thing but yet the doubt always lingers. You are at a cross road and you have to make a choice and you worry that years from now you may regret not taking the other direction, regardless of which direction you take now. You wish you could just be a bird that is free without worries besides basic needs.

Later...

Feelin like I've never known myself and having to discover who I am now. So many paths, so many choices. What the heck am I doing?

11/13/17

Ok so far has been the bad and the ugly, now it's time for some good.

Finding the positive things in life and focusing on them helps me get through the muck and mire. It is essential to be able to laugh at things, laughter is just as powerful of a release agent as crying and boo hooing. Sure you may get knocked down from time to time, happens to everyone, but choosing to get back up is what's most important. Also, free yourself from the expectation of others. Be who you are and don't give a dang what others think about it. You can never measure up to everyone's expectations, just be happy with yourself, go by your own drum beat and choose your own paths. Let the wisdom of others guide you but take directives from no one. You are the captain of you ship, let no one else control you happiness. Accept who you are and be proud of it regardless of the bad and worst. Your past defines who you have been but not who you are destined to become. Change begins with a choice, a decision, your choice, your decision.

11/14/17

Got that restless feeling in my bones and it's driving me crazy. Feel like a tightly wound spring that's ready to snap. I want to do something rough and crazy, something that will bang me up a bit. Where's a good fight club when you need it. haha.

11/15/17

Down in the pits today. Loneliness is setting in. Laughter is a good medicine but it only treats the symptoms. Need to make some choices but that means I will have to face certain realities that I don't know if I'm ready for.

11/17/17

Got the urge to do something badass. Don't know what but I got this surge of energy inside of me that needs to be unleashed somehow. Been working out a lot lately, don't know if that is why. Never worked out much before so this is new. I've always been passive and peaceful but I really want to fight now. Not fight like I'm mad at someone, I just want to get roughed up and rough someone else up. Might look into jujutsu or something.