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Lack of Confidence and Sexual Anxiety

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  • Lack of Confidence and Sexual Anxiety

    Hey guys.
    This has been bothering me for the past 2-3 years. 2-3 years ago, a situation occurred where I was in love with a person (I legitimately fell in love with the person). This person was kind, caring etc, or well, I thought she was. At the time it turned out that she had been playing with my feelings, talking trash behind my back and laughing whenever she was flirting/texting me.. Now, how I found this out was her little sister looked at me as if i was an older brother to her and she didn't want me to be involved with someone shitty like that (her sister hated her at the time), the girl that I was in love with admitted it and from that point on, I don't know if it was depression, I don't know if it was just an overbearing amount of grief but I couldn't stop thinking nor could i stop getting emotional for MONTHS on end. My confidence was ruined, I let myself go mentally and physically, I gained 20-22kgs in about 2-3 months due to eating fast food out of emotion.

    Fast-forward until January this year. We started talking again however she met-up with me and talked to me about the entire situation and apologised for being a really trashy and shitty human being and regretted everything she did and on-top of that she admitted that she had feelings for me, she said that she did what she did because she didn't like being "vulnerable". We end up getting into a short relationship and she ended up leaving me due to specific personal reasons.


    I have the weakest erections however I know that when I am actually erect, I can acknowledge the fact that I have a big penis.. Sure I have penis buried under the fat but I know that this can be easily resolved with exercise and dieting, and I also do close to 200-250 kegels throughout the day.

    I am unable to approach girls or even talk to them or even be clear with what I want with them. I want to be able to use my penis, I want to be able to have a healthy sex-life instead of watching porn. Now, when it comes to porn, I don't watch porn to the point where it interrupts my daily activities, however porn could be the reason why my erections are so weak (ontop of being like 15-17kgs overweight for my height). I lack that much confidence to the point where to look for sexual release, I turn to guys. That even fails, I don't even get hard and when I do, it takes me 300 years to cum. I was 20-30% erect when my girlfriend first tried giving me a handjob (She's a virgin, i'm the first person she's done anything sexual with, we never had sex)..

    My girlfriend was sitting there, the one i supposedly loved with all my heart, and I'm not able to bring out a good erection and I wasn't feeling anxious with her at all because I was so comfortable being with her. I know for a fact that I have a big penis yet I can't use it or get it hard. I'm actually starting to wonder whether I should jelq for more length/girth or just jelq to improve EQ, I have a tree-trunk penis, I am very thick towards the base (nearing 7" in girth at the base) and 5.75" mid-shaft and 7.5" BPEL with 6.3-6.5" NBPEL (when i was at my absolute hardest recently) but that's with shitty EQ.

    I'm not sure on how I can build confidence or even try and approach a girl and be honest with what I want.. Should I quit porn and masturbation all together? As i said, I'm not addicted to porn, it doesn't interfere with activities during the day, I just want to be able to have sex without any worries.

  • #2
    I think two things would be key:
    1- Exercise that includes aerobic work to improve blood circulation.
    2- Edging to improve EQ
    03/2015 Start <Able to last ~ 2 mins PIV>
    Thread
    12/2019 EL: +2.2 MEG: +1 <Able to last 60+ mins PIV>

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    • #3
      Some exercise would help as well as quality sleep, in addition to what incogneeetoe said.
      Original/Current Stats:
      09 / 2017: BPEL 6.75" / NBPEL 6" / MEG 4.75" / BPFSL 7.25"
      09 / 2019: BPEL 7.625" / NBPEL 6.625" / MEG 5" / BPFSL 8.125"

      Realistic Goals:
      BPEL 8" / NBPEL 7.0" / MEG 5.25"

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