Depression update

[dukenukem8 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dukenukem8]

So, if anybody cares. I've got an update for you. Last night I had a nervous breakdown, and ended up having to call the veteran crisis line. I gave in, and finally fully accepted I need professional help. My problems go way deeper than superficial things (body dysmorphia etc.) They are deep rooted psychological problems I've been repressing and replacing with these superficial things. My major depression is still clinically there. There are symptoms of paranoia/schizophrenia. along with extreme worry and anxiety. Sucks, but knowing is half the battle. I've finally gotten things settled with the va. I have another psychiatrist appointment and consult on Monday in fresno.

A new me is coming. I can feel it.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Knowing and accepting is half the battle. And yes, we care, so don't need to preface your statements in the future. Just make sure you follow the professional advice first before you listen to a bunch of penis pullers on the internet. We mean good, but we can't replace professional assistance which requires one on one therapy. Hope you still check in, but know that if this site is detrimental to your progress, you need to stay clear so as to not muddy the waters. We are praying for you my brother, peace be with you.

[Paracletus Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Paracletus]

Good luck, man. I've struggled with anxiety disorder and depression for years so I can somewhat relate. seeking help and keeping your loved ones close are major steps toward dealing and getting better.

Take care.

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

The fact that you can admit an issue and get professional help is a good sign! Please continue to keep us posted.

[dukenukem8 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dukenukem8]

So, I've gotten even deeper in with the va, and am now talking to a clinician and a psychotherapist. Apparently, I have a psychotic disorder; they just aren't sure which one. It's just worse now in my early 20's but I've always known I've been kinda off. Apparently, manic suicidal/homicidal ideation and obsessive tendencies aren't healthy lol. I thought everybody experienced them all the time. It was getting weird too, like how I would get this random urge to do crazy things if I saw a knife or scissors, like hurt myself or cut it off. I'd almost genuinely want to do it.

I know it sounds insane. I cant help it.
I have medication for my major depression and an anti psychotic for this paranoia, always thinking somebody is lying to me, half ass hallucinations, mental "voices".

With all of this going on, my primary concern is whether or not this will affect my size or function. I've just restarted pe again last night. So I've done 2 days in a row

I kinda got like I would about it, but I've noticed thsee meds have kinda covered up those feelings. So when they pop up, I feel like I don't want to put that much thought into my insecurity. I almost feel worse because I feel slightly better. It's really weird.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Ok.

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

The meds may be in use to possibly offset/correct for an internal chemical offset. Questions about them are best addressed to you physician.

Sounds like you can be rejoicing that you have some improvement underway. Good for you being in control of things.

[dukenukem8 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dukenukem8]

I want to. But I'm So used to feeling that way, it's throwing me off. I know it's good. But I just don't feel like myself.

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

I want to. But I'm So used to feeling that way, it's throwing me off. I know it's good. But I just don't feel like myself.

You've been used to dealing with anxiety for so long that it's going to take some time for you to adjust to not having it be such a strong presence in your life.

[encouraging Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close encouraging]

I want to. But I'm So used to feeling that way, it's throwing me off. I know it's good. But I just don't feel like myself.

Hang in there dukenukem8 I'm glad you are getting help. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for years and it can really weigh heavily on your soul. Talk therapy and being open about my feelings has helped. Best of luck.

[Excellator Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Excellator]

Good luck brother, that new ''me'' is coming and you know it!

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

Hang in there dukenukem8 I'm glad you are getting help. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for years and it can really weigh heavily on your soul. Talk therapy and being open about my feelings has helped. Best of luck.

Good advice

Knowing you're not alone can help the process of healing.

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

I want to. But I'm So used to feeling that way, it's throwing me off. I know it's good. But I just don't feel like myself.

How have you been feeling lately?

[dukenukem8 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dukenukem8]

How have you been feeling lately?

I've been ok. They have me hopped up on heavy doses of Prozac and quetiapine. I have been the happiest I've ever been at times, then randomly I'll get in another mood for no reason. They're thinking it's schizophrenia or something. I haven't been pe'ing the last 3 weeks or so. I am trying to get my mind right before I focus on anything else.
It's just random paranoid ideas/hallucinations. I get angry very easily. And I've been getting these weird thoughts about doing bad things to myself and other people. I don't feel real half the time anymore.
Things can only get better from here I guess... just kind of feeling numb to the whole idea of living now. It doesn't matter much anymore
It's almost as if i like the things I see and can't stop thinking about. Just kinda in a really bad funk, and almost don't even care.

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

I've been ok. They have me hopped up on heavy doses of Prozac and quetiapine. I have been the happiest I've ever been at times, then randomly I'll get in another mood for no reason. They're thinking it's schizophrenia or something. I haven't been pe'ing the last 3 weeks or so. I am trying to get my mind right before I focus on anything else.
It's just random paranoid ideas/hallucinations. I get angry very easily. And I've been getting these weird thoughts about doing bad things to myself and other people. I don't feel real half the time anymore.
Things can only get better from here I guess... just kind of feeling numb to the whole idea of living now. It doesn't matter much anymore
It's almost as if i like the things I see and can't stop thinking about. Just kinda in a really bad funk, and almost don't even care.

Your mental health should take priority. Remember there are those who do care about you- it's very important you understand and acknowledge that so you can see that there's much to live for!

Are you engaging in any mental/emotional visualization techniques to help? Before engaging in any of this it would be best if you consulted with your doc first.