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  • 48 and not staying hard last few years

    Hi all. First, I hope some moderator will see this post because I have spent 90 mins here reading various "start here" threads and other posts and I am LOST with all the acronyms being used, there is NO guide anywhere for these and there absolutely needs to be let me tell you.

    What is:
    IK?
    RK?
    PF = Pelvic Floor correct?
    PE?
    PV?
    VL?
    MW?
    Etc
    etc
    any other popular ones?

    Also, what is edging?

    ---

    Okay onto my issue. I have no problem having erections I never have, just a thought can bring them. In the last few years however, it seems that they are not that hard anymore, AND, I can lose the erection maybe after a few minutes, so maybe two issues or maybe they are both rooted in one issue not sure. Any ideas on why they are not hard enough? Testosterone too low? I might have circulations issues (often cold feet, not enough oxygen to brain) so this seems like a likely culprit. Other ideas?

    One thing I wonder could be contributing is taking Lysine, which I know counters Arginine, which can help boost Nitric oxide. Age I guess could be another factor, and I do seem to have intermittent high blood pressure which I seen a couple sites saying could contribute to ED. Any other possibilities come to mind here what is going on? I don't think it is mental, since I have erections no problem they are just somewhat flaccid not hard enough. Also not sure why I lose the erection so easy, even if amply turned on.

    Thanks in advance for any insight and advice. I just "tried" to sleep with my new girlfriend for the first time, what an utter embarrassment, it would not get hard enough or stay up and I was extremely turned on, this coming from someone with a high drive and who used to have sex for 5 hours in his 20's....
    jayjonbeach
    Member
    Last edited by jayjonbeach; 01-10-2017, 10:22 AM.

  • #2
    Originally posted by jayjonbeach View Post
    Hi all. First, I hope some moderator will see this post because I have spent 90 mins here reading various "start here" threads and other posts and I am LOST with all the acronyms being used, there is NO guide anywhere for these and there absolutely needs to be let me tell you.

    What is:
    IK?
    RK?
    PF = Pelvic Floor correct?
    PE?
    PV?
    VL?
    MW?
    Etc
    etc
    any other popular ones?

    Also, what is edging?

    ---
    Hi Jay and welcome to the Gym.

    Here is a glossary for abbrevations. I am also including a wiki too:

    * https://www.pegym.com/forums/beginne...-acronyms.html
    * https://www.pegym.com/articles/penis-wiki-terms

    Regarding Edging, you can read up on the information here:

    https://www.pegym.com/edging-increas...is-enlargement

    Welcome again!
    How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices! ~ Song of Solomon 4:10

    For things to change, you have to change.” - Jim Rohn, The Art of Exceptional Living

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks for the reply and those links, I was looking for a thread like that and could not find one. Note some of the ones I listed are NOT there

      One other note I thought of, I don't do drugs, smoke or drink coffee or alcohol. I eat fairly healthy, but do have some health issues.
      jayjonbeach
      Member
      Last edited by jayjonbeach; 01-10-2017, 01:50 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        There are number of thing that could be the source of your ED. You mentioned that you have some health issues, are you taking any medication for those? Some medications have sexual dysfunction side effects. Do you ever have morning erections? You say that you may have circulation problems, that could definitely be a problem. It would be best to consult a Dr for an evaluation to determine if in fact you do have circulation problems. Pelvic floor issues are also a potential source of ED. Starting a kegel routine would be helpful. Here are a couple of links information related to the pelvic floor.

        Pelvic floor, related Problems

        Pelvic floor, related Exercises
        To totally satisfy a woman sexually is not about having a large penis, it's about being a good lover.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by jayjonbeach View Post
          this coming from someone with a high drive and who used to have sex for 5 hours in his 20's....
          Just out of interest, what is the concept of 5 hour sex. You go until the skin of your dick starts peeling off or what? I just can't imagine that having sex for hours would be enjoyable for either party.

          Comment


          • #6
            I'm 48 and had some small amount of weak erections a couple of years back.

            I went whole hog and tried everything recommended:

            Lots of water
            A sort of Erection Tea (Ginseng, Ginger, Green Tea) daily (5 days a week)
            I take Arginine and Ginkgo biloba up to 4/5 days a week.
            I do cardio at least 4 times a week.
            I edge 5-6 times a week
            Stretching and jelqing 5 days a week
            Yoga 5 times a week.
            Kegels almost daily

            Now my erections are rock hard 19 times out of 20. I'll note that I do loose erections fairly quickly, but generally only about 50% of the time... the other 50% it stays hard as long as I want. I can have a 1 hour erection without much worry. More importantly I never loose erections during sex anymore. Quite the opposite: if I don't ejaculate (and I practice semen retention, only orgasm once for every ten my wife has) I stay hard long after sex. Last night my wife and I fooled around for a bit til I was hard and she was hot, she rode me to a quick orgasm. I cleaned off, grabbed us some water, fixed all the bed covers, found her panties and my boxers, lay down and was still raging hard. Then we lay together to fall asleep. She held on to my erection til she fell asleep. For the next 15 minutes it only softened a little.

            I'm not sure what is the key.
            I often lay off the Arginine and Ginkgo dietary supplements for a week or more at a time. No big difference. I took none yesterday. I try to always drink the tea, but that has a lot of other benefits than just erections.

            Exercise and yoga are important for many factors, so I always do it. (I have a bad back, so core exercise is a must. Plus I do a lot of yoga to relax the pelvic floor, for premature ejaculation, and those include planking and similar things that focus on the same area. My sciatica is almost gone and my premature ejaculation is under control.)

            If there were one key, I think it is getting daily (or more) erections. I think the daily time spent on stretching, jelqing and edging keeps my member fit. (I read once that the more erections you get the more erections you will have). I only put in about 30 to 40 mins each day, 5 min morning, 5 at lunch, 5 evening, then 20 or so in shower time. Stretches throughout day then edging in shower and jelqing after. The edging is now really just getting to a hard erection and keeping it for the duration of the shower. Then after the shower I lube up and jelg with about a 50-70% erection. 30 down, 40 up, 50 straight out, 20 against the curve, 10 more up, 20 more straight out.

            I figure I've got about 4 or 5 years before that inevitable bump in the road that is menopause. I want to be able to nail my wife without difficulty til than and hopefully beyond. So a bit of work on my part is all it takes to stay fit. Plus it feels great. Fitness by penis.
            incogneeetoe
            Moderator
            Member of the Month Sept 2017
            *Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021*
            PEGym Hero
            Last edited by incogneeetoe; 01-10-2017, 10:22 PM.
            03/2015 Start <Able to last ~ 2 mins PIV>
            Thread
            12/2019 EL: +2.2 MEG: +1 <Able to last 60+ mins PIV>

            Comment


            • #7
              Could be anything go to your doc and get a hormone test as a start point.

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks all for the replies! Not taking any Meds. I do have some morning erections but they are not consistent, I have been single for the last 1.5 years and just now have a new girlfriend, before that it was married 14 years, sex was always good until last 2 years as I mentioned.

                I have seen a bunch of threads here, and other places mentioning too much porn and masturbation can cause some people issues. Yet, on the flip side, "if you don't use it, you might lose it" would seem to apply, too. When I look back at those last 2 years of the marriage, we were not having as much sex and I was turning more to porn/mast so maybe this is applying to me. In the past, I did notice the more sex I got, the more I wanted it, and the more consistent morning erections would be, and even just "random erections".

                Having said all this, I am still not sure much of this applies to "not being hard enough", it would seem to apply more to losing an erection during sex to me. At any rate though, I am planning to cut out porn/mast for awhile, to see what difference I notice. On the one hand, being "out of practice" for so long, I worry I won't last if I am not masturbating, but on the other, right now, the damn thing is not even functional at all, so.....

                ----

                5 hours, yeah, those were the days. We would engage for a good hour, alcohol was sometimes involved, I would finally allow myself to get off. 10 minute break, then go at it again... Bliss, that was, between two Nymphos

                --

                I did have hormones tested not that long ago, not as out of whack as I would have thought, mostly ok

                ---

                incogneeetoe thanks for that detailed message, it gives me hope and some things to think about and try. I think the Lysine I take counters the in body Arginine and might be part of the issue, but I don't take it all the time. I use to "edge' without even knowing it was a "thing", in sex with the ex-wife I used to stop myself from going so sex would last longer, sometimes I had trouble actually going after that though.

                Yes what you said about more, fueling more, is what I found too. If I don't get off for a week, I will have nearly no erections anymore, so this is a reason I have been mastb maybe 3 or 4 times a week, but I am not sure now if it could be hurting me, or if it is the porn in conjunction with it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  One more thing I will mention, the day I "tried" to sleep with my new girlfriend, we were together most of the day and I was "working it", as in, I was hugging her a lot, hands wandering, kissing her etc most of the day, and I was having erections most of the whole day. Did I overheat it? lol I guess it just reinforces the point that getting erections is not an issue, they are just not that hard, and don't seem to last when they really matter in bed.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'm going to step out on a limb here and suggest ejaculation retention. Tantric practice says that men in their late forties should refrain from ejaculating too often. Only once every one to two weeks. This does not mean no masturbation, it means just no happy ending.

                    I have been doing this for a while now, since my early forties when I first started to encounter a few performance problems. As I don't ejaculate, I am ready to go any time. Plus I practice. I try to get an erection every day.

                    I am off work for a my winter break (teach Uni in a country that has long winter breaks) so I have a lot of time for extra exercise. The last 7 days I have been able to get in extra sessions 5 times. That means that along with my usual stretching, edging and jelqing per day I have been able to add in a uli/squeeze session mid-day.

                    Exercise is good: last night in the shower I did my usual edging and I was up to a full rock hard erection in no time. It was really at 100%, maybe even 101%, I impressed myself with a new high. Then after the shower i wanted to jelq, but the damn thing was just too hard. I tried a number of things to let it go more flaccid, but every time I started to jelq it was back up again. I barely was able to get a simple set of 120 done.

                    Later that night the wife and I got into bed and she was randy again. With very little kissing and foreplay I was back up to that 101%. It was so hard it felt like I was holding a kegel at a 100% erection. I was able to only put in the head and a little more and my wife was going on and on about how big it was. I rolled her over and brought her home with only about 2/5 of my erection in her. Afterwards it wouldn't go down again. We fell asleep with her holding my erection muttering about it being too big.

                    I really do believe the key is penis (and cardio) exercise and controlling how often you shoot a load.
                    03/2015 Start <Able to last ~ 2 mins PIV>
                    Thread
                    12/2019 EL: +2.2 MEG: +1 <Able to last 60+ mins PIV>

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      SUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEESSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

                      Just reporting in. So I quit porn and did not whack it for a week. I also fooled around with Girlfriend one night but did not bother trying with dick, just got her off with hands, she is a great girl and was okay with this but of course wanted "me".

                      Last night, I decided I would "try" again. First time around, I got a couple minutes out of him and then limp. F*ck. Okay. Maybe a bit better than first time which was 30 seconds lol. Then 5 mins later, try again. Maybe 4 minutes this time, then limp. Okay, seeing a trend here. Then I tried one more time, probably got another 4 minutes or so, then we had to go out.

                      When we got back home, and in bed again even though we were both tired I eventually got her little motor started.... So back in saddle, this time I think I went about 8 mins, woohoo progress! The bastard is remembering his ole' ways! Then the next time was a good 20 mins and I FINALLY was able to cum!

                      I am not fully out of the woods here yet, but here are my takeaways here.

                      1. Porn and the rapid motion of masturbation along with the rapid progression to climax is a VERY bad combo, just as many threads on the Internet would allude too.

                      2. That, combined with a full 1.5 years of not being with a Women, was enough to cause the issue.

                      3. I am a little out of shape at the moment, which also did not help. I exercise maybe once/twice a week usually, but the last 2 months have been more weights in gym and no cardio which hurt me in bed.

                      Really I think that is it. Its like I seen said, the brain was being trained to correlate climax with extremely hot Women licking each other and my own hand rapidly stroking it. It is a little akin to a Women using a vibrator all the time, and then wondering why regular sex does not satisfy her anymore. THIS IS A NUTSHELL.

                      I got REALLY lucky with my Gal. She is a super nice Gal AND she is beautiful. Not only that, she is EXACTLY what I wanted physically too, and have been lusting for, for years, even in the last few years of my 14 year marriage. My ex-wife had gained weight, and I wanted someone with a small ass so badly, of course I wanted her to lose weight but it was not happening. My Gal now is a Filipina, she is super petite, and she is exactly what I wanted down there too, tight and wet.

                      Given the last paragraph, and it had been 1.5 years since I was with a Girl, and it was like 5 years I was dreaming about having a Girl just like the one I have now, you would think I could get rock hard and bang the sh*t out of her like no tomorrow right? Wrong, apparently. Mind blown.

                      As I say still not out of woods I am sure, it is still only maybe getting 75/80% hard, but I think with more cardio and practice in bed, and continued abstinence from porn, and maybe my own hand for some time, hopefully I am getting back on track to good 30 minute sessions of slamming my current sweety.

                      Thanks for all support mates, hoping I won't be back!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hey, man! We all have that issue at some point in time. For me, not getting hard or staying hard (which really sucks) was more of a mental thing. Anyway, just putting that out there. And, by "mental" I mean that I was upset with the woman I was with and for me that kills things for me.

                        But, a few things that you mentioned....if I might add my $0.02 in....

                        I am going to be 50 pretty soon. So, right there with you in the age thing. That is not an issue. I dont allow it to be an issue so it is not an issue.

                        Being in good physical shape will do amazing things for you....in all areas of your life. Keep up the good work in the gym and - if I might suggest - focus more on lifting than cardio. That will help with testosterone. And, doing a lot of cardio strongly increases the amount of cortisol that is flowing in your blood....and that kills testosterone. I work out daily and am in pretty dang good shape. Not for someone my age...just in general.

                        When with your girl, concentrate on the pleasure. Not getting hard, not getting off, not getting her off. Enjoy the curve of her breasts, the way her hammies tie into her glutes (see, that is the gym in me coming out), the scent of her, the taste of her lips, the look in her eyes....the way she gasps when you touch her. Man! I am telling you....you spend more time in that mindset and nature will take over....maybe not this week, maybe not this month...but it will.

                        Do a lot of non-sexual things with her. Take a bath with her...wash her hair, bathe her. Give her a killer massage and have her give you a massage. Enjoy the non-sexual time like that with her. Guess what? Things will change....for the better. Soon, you will be so hard you could hammer a nail into steel!

                        Have no time for porn. Porn messes up our minds. In lots of ways. Honestly, not much benefit to porn (other than 'instant gratification'.....but, at what expense?).

                        Flirt with her. Touch her just a little bit longer than usual. Keep her gaze just a little bit longer than usual. Stand just a little bit closer than usual. Nothing sexual. Just flirt with her. Text her randomly during the day with some suggestive comments. Nothing overt. Nothing specific. Get her going a little bit.

                        Notice - and this kinda falls in-line with one of the above items - that her makeup is a bit different today or that she did her hair a new way (or, a way that you have not seen in awhile). Let her know that you have noticed. And, assuming that you like it, tell her as much. And be enthusiastic about it.

                        Most importantly, don't get defensive about this. Man, it happens. It happens to all of us. At some point in time....it happens. And, once this is behind you, it will possibly happen again. Be strong. Be a man. Don't cry about it (and, to be clear, not suggesting that you are....just don't!). How you handle this is far more important than it happening. In her eyes...if you are a man about this and do something to take positive steps to correct it then she is going to fall for you even more. But, if you are a crybaby about it...well, she will find someone else (eventually).

                        Take this as an opportunity to learn some things and to be even better. No one knows everything. Shoot! How boring would that be? Spend some time in the ED forum and in the PE forum. There is some amazing stuff in there (or there used to be....not sure why that stuff would be gone). Learn about the male body and how it works. Dude, there is a ton of stuff going on for something as "simple" as an erection. Not so simple, my friend.

                        Gratitude - and it really sounds like you have that (and then some). In my book, gratitude goes a long way. You realize what you have in her. Do this for yourself, though. Keep the prize (please excuse that phrase....she is a human being....not some 'door prize') in mind, though. :-)

                        Hope that this helps!
                        Start: August, 2017
                        Start: 5.50inches BPEL x 5.125inches MEG
                        Goal: 7.0inches BPEL x 6.0inches MEG
                        Focus: AMAZING EQ! A strong and balanced Pelvic Floor!! Awesome Hip Flexibility!!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Excellent Average dude, but real men cry also. Be man enough to express those emotions also.
                          ALL THE WAY WITH GOOD OLE JAY!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by AverageDude48 View Post
                            Hey, man! We all have that issue at some point in time. For me, not getting hard or staying hard (which really sucks) was more of a mental thing. Anyway, just putting that out there. And, by "mental" I mean that I was upset with the woman I was with and for me that kills things for me.

                            But, a few things that you mentioned....if I might add my $0.02 in....

                            I am going to be 50 pretty soon. So, right there with you in the age thing. That is not an issue. I dont allow it to be an issue so it is not an issue.

                            Being in good physical shape will do amazing things for you....in all areas of your life. Keep up the good work in the gym and - if I might suggest - focus more on lifting than cardio. That will help with testosterone. And, doing a lot of cardio strongly increases the amount of cortisol that is flowing in your blood....and that kills testosterone. I work out daily and am in pretty dang good shape. Not for someone my age...just in general.

                            When with your girl, concentrate on the pleasure. Not getting hard, not getting off, not getting her off. Enjoy the curve of her breasts, the way her hammies tie into her glutes (see, that is the gym in me coming out), the scent of her, the taste of her lips, the look in her eyes....the way she gasps when you touch her. Man! I am telling you....you spend more time in that mindset and nature will take over....maybe not this week, maybe not this month...but it will.

                            Do a lot of non-sexual things with her. Take a bath with her...wash her hair, bathe her. Give her a killer massage and have her give you a massage. Enjoy the non-sexual time like that with her. Guess what? Things will change....for the better. Soon, you will be so hard you could hammer a nail into steel!

                            Have no time for porn. Porn messes up our minds. In lots of ways. Honestly, not much benefit to porn (other than 'instant gratification'.....but, at what expense?).

                            Flirt with her. Touch her just a little bit longer than usual. Keep her gaze just a little bit longer than usual. Stand just a little bit closer than usual. Nothing sexual. Just flirt with her. Text her randomly during the day with some suggestive comments. Nothing overt. Nothing specific. Get her going a little bit.

                            Notice - and this kinda falls in-line with one of the above items - that her makeup is a bit different today or that she did her hair a new way (or, a way that you have not seen in awhile). Let her know that you have noticed. And, assuming that you like it, tell her as much. And be enthusiastic about it.

                            Most importantly, don't get defensive about this. Man, it happens. It happens to all of us. At some point in time....it happens. And, once this is behind you, it will possibly happen again. Be strong. Be a man. Don't cry about it (and, to be clear, not suggesting that you are....just don't!). How you handle this is far more important than it happening. In her eyes...if you are a man about this and do something to take positive steps to correct it then she is going to fall for you even more. But, if you are a crybaby about it...well, she will find someone else (eventually).

                            Take this as an opportunity to learn some things and to be even better. No one knows everything. Shoot! How boring would that be? Spend some time in the ED forum and in the PE forum. There is some amazing stuff in there (or there used to be....not sure why that stuff would be gone). Learn about the male body and how it works. Dude, there is a ton of stuff going on for something as "simple" as an erection. Not so simple, my friend.

                            Gratitude - and it really sounds like you have that (and then some). In my book, gratitude goes a long way. You realize what you have in her. Do this for yourself, though. Keep the prize (please excuse that phrase....she is a human being....not some 'door prize') in mind, though. :-)

                            Hope that this helps!
                            Thanks Man. Yeah, I never got into all that, but can tell you I was doing ALL that kind of stuff, and more, incl. the baths, massages, etc and, IT DID NOT MATTER SHIT. It was not getting hard, I made it clear, WHY not, erect, yes, constantly, she turns me on big time, rock hard, nope, especially in bed.

                            Thankfully, I believe the issue is on its way out the door.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              OUTSTANDING. One thing that I find - in general - is that if you really love this woman (as a human being) then everything will work out. More to the point, if you have a superior connection with her then it will really all work out. There will always be ups and downs.....always. But, on average, things will be amazing. :-) Glad to hear that things are looking up (pun definitely intended!).
                              Start: August, 2017
                              Start: 5.50inches BPEL x 5.125inches MEG
                              Goal: 7.0inches BPEL x 6.0inches MEG
                              Focus: AMAZING EQ! A strong and balanced Pelvic Floor!! Awesome Hip Flexibility!!!

                              Comment

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