This is a very embarrassing and depressing thing

[Curtman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Curtman]

a little about me. I'm 29. Started watching porn at a very young age and just recently stopped. I'm in recovering from alcoholism for over 1.5 years. I take klonopin for anxiety which I'm trying to get off of completely. I've just got divorced from a 7 year marriage and during that time I never had a problem getting it up even when I was drinking every day and taking klonopin. Since I quit drinking and have been around more attractive women than my ex wife I have had a problem getting it up, keeping it up and hell I would say I never get even 60%. I still get morning wood occassionally but when it comes to about to have sex I just go limp if I'm even up in the first place. I'm with a woman right now that's really understanding about it but I don't know how to fix this situation other than hoping gettting off porn and the klonopin. Can someone please help.

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

de-conditioning your brain from porn is a very good step that you have taken.
Your brain may have been become dependant upon the sedating effect of alcohol as far as sexual performance goes.
You may have some 'performance anxiety' going on, I think.

Some anxiety research ?

There some 'sticky threads' for you to browse through here:

https://www.pegym.com/forums/challen...ty-depression/

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Curtman, welcome to the forums, we are glad you took the time to join.

Most of us have experienced what you are going through. It was one of the reasons I joined. So there is hope and a solution. I recommend that you start a PE program to condition your unit. Most report better EQ (erection quality) almost immediately upon starting their training. Go to the START HERE button located at the top of the screen, or if on a mobile device in the stickies in the beginner forums. Read, Read, Read all the information and choose a beginner conditioning program like the JP90. Commit to the full 90 days and report back. Many also get a nice side effect of increased length and girth. Also, your brain is the reason you are struggling right now, so learning to relax and breath deeply will assist with your anxiety. There also is a chance that your mediacation is playing a role in your ED, so talk to your doctor about that.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Hello Curtman and thanks for joining us. You have identified some of the sources of your issues and have found a place that can help you reverse them.
First don't be embarrassed. Be gentle with yourself and understand it happens to many.
Second don't compare anybody to your exwife. You may have the feeling in your subconscious that you don't deserve someone more attractive than your ex. This simply isn't true. Start by getting rid of the feeling you need any comparison. Just enjoy the lady you are with.
Third avoid all porn.
Fourth learn to relax. Meditate, deep breathing, reverse kegels, Hindi squats, and other yoga stretches that target the abs, back, glutes, pelvis and thighs. During your day think positive thoughts about yourself and your penis. Not sexual thoughts, just positive.
Learn plateua edging. Good luck and enjoy.

[Curtman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Curtman]

Thanks for all the advice and encouragement. I'm going to get started now!

[donkeehote Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close donkeehote]

Welcome. You picked a great community to join mate. Lots of great information and fantastic people on these forums. Kudos to all the admins and contributors.

If its any solace, I too suffer from lackluster erection quality. That is, it aint what it used to be. But with this community and the information here, things are looking better and I overall I am feeling better about myself. Like others have suggested, go to the start here section and have a look around. With some commitment and patience, you will soon be on your way to a better state of mind and healthier penis.

[AverageDude48 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close AverageDude48]

Good morning, Curtman!

Welcome to the board. You have received some really sound advice. I think that it is great that you are identifying an issue and working on a solution. You can not do much more than that, right? However, that is a really positive step that you have taken. What you are doing is *NOT* being a victim. That mindset will kill you (figuratively speaking, of course).

There is a lot going on when it comes to getting it up. Somewhere along the path there is a disconnect. I am confident that you - maybe with the help of folks here on this forum - will find that disconnect and come to a solution.

If I might chime in....I would confine my comments to the mental side of this issue.

Man, there isn't anything worse than not being able to get it up...or have a 60% hard on! Right? I mean, as a man....what else is there? Well, the sun still sets in the West, right? You will be okay. And so will the whole world! I am not being facetious with this. Just trying to put things into perspective.

As someone stated already, be kind to yourself. If you had a loved one who was having an issue, would you speak to her the way you likely speak to yourself? Probably not, right? So, why speak to yourself that way? Be kind to yourself. Respect yourself. This is a temporary issue....it is happening for a reason. We dont know why yet....but we will. More importantly, you are going to learn something that is going to change everything for you in this process.

We are human. We fail. Consistently. But, we keep on trying and never give up and eventually we find the answer. You are human, right? So, you will fail. Consistently. But, you will find the answer. Have faith in that statement. Unwavering faith.

I mean, if you think that you can not do something, then you are right! :-) But, if you think that you can do something, then you are right! Mindset. Super important. Learn from this situation and improve your sex life. How good does that sound? Go in struggling, come out amazing! I will take it!

[greg123 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close greg123]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysWrA4yL7h0

see that video xd

Porn will ruin your sex life. make you nervous and many many other things. Stop watching porn and focus on something else. It will take some months to reboot. And you will experience flatline. Check yourbrainbalanced.com for more info on porn. Good luck and never see that shit again. I hope you listen to me.

[Saskman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Saskman]

well i can relate a little bit, since i took clonazepam when I was a teenager (I am 32 now). when i was 17, i also abused alcohol for a year of my life (though I had ED from 15, before I ever drank alcohol). when i quit drinking, i had terrible shakes and benzo drugs were extremely helpful and comforting.

however, i can attest that those drugs are erection killers.

since your problem never existed while drinking and taking cloneazepam, I would guess perhaps you are suffering from anxiety related withdrawals. do you find your pulse excessive? pounding? do you sweat or shake?

you might know this already, but cloneazepam is a bandaid drug, it's hard to tell that to someone who feels good on it, but its an extremely hard drug to come off. i recommend you wean yourself off that drug, it will only harm you in the long run and anxiety is all something that has to be defeated psychologically- without drugs.

any simple google search can clearly attest to however, cloneazepam is a complete erection killer.

[Phoenix7672 Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Phoenix7672]

How rough was the divorce? There is a huge mental component at play here, and I know when I've gone through some rough patches before, things don't work the same as before.

[Curtman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Curtman]

Well I've been taking a low dose in the morning and evening for a while and I told the doc I would just take it as needed. I started doing wet jelqing and I've been eating better. I'm overweight and out of shape maybe that has a little to do with it. The marriage was a disaster we both pretty much were drunk everyday. I just want to fix this problem without taking erection pills. I still suffer from anxiety and I have some insecurities issues with women but I've been seeing this girl for 2 weeks now and when she finally was ready to go I went limp as a cooked ramen noodle. I do notice in the last week my sex drive has come back a little and I've been getting arroused when we are kissing but we haven't attempted sex again and she's very understanding. It's hard to have self confidence with a limp dick lol.

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

I

still suffer from anxiety and I have some insecurities issues with women

Classic example of Performance Anxiety, possibly it and the 'insecurities' are
both self reinforcing. One feeds the other.

I do not know that you could 'break' this one on your own.
You might have faster progress with help from a professional, someone trained to help.