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Losing Erection Quickly and Can't Reclaim

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  • Losing Erection Quickly and Can't Reclaim

    Hey everyone,

    Preface: It's difficult to recall when this trouble started, could be since puberty, could be in the last few years. I hadn't had sex before I got married so I wouldn't really know anyway. I'm 26, married for almost two years and in good physical condition. I've been doing PE for roughly two months and haven't seen gains, maybe some extra EQ and maybe some stamina improvement.

    Issue: I can't get an erection when I should be able to and when I already have an erection, it goes down very quickly if it's not being stimulated. An example would be that I get turned on when we are kissing fully clothed and I'm moving in and warming up for sex, I'll rise to a 100% erection and then within a matter of 20-30 seconds, if I'm not being stimulated I'll lose the erection and more often than not it won't return no matter what. I try face fucking her, stroking it, 69, anything really. By the time we get to the bed and are naked, I'm doing all the kissing and touching, so I'm in control - and that may be where the issue is...

    Situation: My wife loves a little more of a BDSM style sex, where she has a blind fold and hands tied behind her back while I be a little rough with her. She's not usually wide open or wet for sex at any given moment so I have to take about 15-20 minutes to warm her up by stroking her thighs, teasing her, touching her breasts, etc. After this warm up, I have always had an impossible time getting an erection. Half the time, I'll end up fingering her or using a dildo when I know it's not worth trying. The other half of the time, I'll try for about 5-10 minutes to get it up and we both end up frustrated/disappointed.

    Conclusion?:
    -I would say it's just because I may not be attracted to my wife as opposed to "fresh meat" and I'm just comfortable with her. I know there's a more nervous response when interacting with new women but I don't think this should be an issue.
    -Or that the BDSM style where I'm controlling the situation just isn't my style and I prefer a more level playing field or even where I'm the one being forced on every now and then but I don't want to conclude on either of those options.

    Request: If anyone has an idea of what could be going on or has been in a similar situation, I would love some feedback and/or information that could help.

  • #2
    Can you get erected with porn without phisical stimulation?

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    • #3
      quit jerking off, quit porn, get a good diet that ensures surplus, enough dietary fat for good hormonal balance and voila. Your dick will be rock hard. If that doesn't work then your wife doesnt turn you on.
      schwalbe
      Member
      Last edited by schwalbe; 03-30-2017, 08:26 AM. Reason: word

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      • #4
        Mark, to your average porn, no I wouldn't get erect without stimulation. It would have to be something REALLY special like VR for that to work, I would think.

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        • #5
          schwalbe, I don't jerk off (apart from edging) and I don't watch porn. I have a pretty good diet with lots of meats and vegetables, I take horse chestnut and butchers broom supplements.

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          • #6
            It might be worth noting that I have Vericocele. Just discovered what it was and that I had it back in November and have been on a natural remedy since. I've had a lower hanging left nut and the "bag of worms" look since I can remember, which would probably be high school. A vascular doctor took a look at it and recommended surgery but I'm not down with that, I've noticed good improvement just by doing the natural remedies.

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            • #7
              Did you take SSRI (Antidepressants), Propecia/Finasteride (Anti-hairloss) or Accutane (Anti-acné) anytime in the past?

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              • #8
                Mark, no I don't take any medication.

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                • #9
                  Have you been to see a medical professional about your condition?
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                  • #10
                    Hi Big Al, thanks for the reply. I have not. I've honestly never noticed it until the BDSM thing.. I'd get horny, have a 15 minute foreplay session on her and then realize I have nothing left to give. Previously, before her discovery of BDSM and her taste for it, we'd get to kissing, I'd jump inside (with lube since she'd never be wet within a minute) and we were good as long as position transitions didn't take more than 15 seconds.

                    What is your theory on requiring a doctors diagnosis?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by marksanchez397 View Post
                      Did you take SSRI (Antidepressants), Propecia/Finasteride (Anti-hairloss) or Accutane (Anti-acné) anytime in the past?
                      .

                      Woah woah, what does accutane cause?

                      I'm on my 3rd course of accutane.. >.>
                      09-03-2016: BPEL: 6.5 EG: 5.0
                      04-16-2019: BPEL: 7.1 MEG: 5.19
                      03-29-2020: BPEL: 7.36 MEG: 5.39

                      No person is worth wanting to hurt yourself over, neither is the size of your penis.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Peter_Nencompoop View Post
                        Hi Big Al, thanks for the reply. I have not. I've honestly never noticed it until the BDSM thing.. I'd get horny, have a 15 minute foreplay session on her and then realize I have nothing left to give. Previously, before her discovery of BDSM and her taste for it, we'd get to kissing, I'd jump inside (with lube since she'd never be wet within a minute) and we were good as long as position transitions didn't take more than 15 seconds.

                        What is your theory on requiring a doctors diagnosis?
                        .

                        Have you tried spanking her while she's in like.. Doggy position with the blindfold on and hands tied? Then talk dirty to her and make her reply. I realized that naughty talk gets me going quite a lot, if you two aren't communicating whether it be really dirty or at all that could also make you not "feeling it".
                        09-03-2016: BPEL: 6.5 EG: 5.0
                        04-16-2019: BPEL: 7.1 MEG: 5.19
                        03-29-2020: BPEL: 7.36 MEG: 5.39

                        No person is worth wanting to hurt yourself over, neither is the size of your penis.

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                        • #13
                          I have the same exact issue and it has been gradually but slowly getting better. For me it was a mixture of mental and physical aspects. I am now seeing a strong correlation between improvement in the physical realm causing increased confidence and thus improvement in my mentality and approach towards sex.

                          I would tell you to slow down but 15 min of foreplay is slow enough. Do you enjoy the foreplay? Next time pay attention to your body and see if you are feeling any tension at all from anticipation of sex. As for physically my pelvic floor and several muscle groups were in disarray. I would suggest finding out where you stand here and then starting a regiment reliant upon relaxing and/or strengthening your pelvic floor.

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                          • #14
                            6inDong, doing sexy stuff doesn't appear to help. When I know an erection isn't going to come I usually finger her or use a dildo and talk dirty to her from behind, in which I do spank and bite. Sometimes when she moans a certain way or when I know she's getting into it really well I'll feel a slight blood pump down there but it stops. It almost feels like it stops when I notice it, almost as if I jinx it and scare it off.

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                            • #15
                              I should also say that my libido is generally pretty low throughout the day. It's kind of like I want to want to have sex. Never do I see a hot woman and then get a raging dick because I get horny all of a sudden.

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